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Misfit Toy
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23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
No, my best friend sent it to me.
 

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Zeppelin/Ultegra Rider
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930 Posts
How did he live happily ever after with out any mention of cycling?

Oh...this is the lounge, no bike references allowed!
 

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Misfit Toy
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23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
He rides his bike to the fishing spot....
 

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remodeling...me
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4,177 Posts
snapdragen said:
He rides his bike to the fishing spot....
Snap, you posted the free milk vs free sausage a while back didn't you? I loved that one too and I shared it with my husband ( dated 5 years before wedding, used to tease him about the free milk) He loved it so much he has told everyone he knows. He even sent it overseas it's now floating around in Europe.
All of that was my usual long winded way of saying Thank You.
:D
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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24,415 Posts
I thought that you were going to tell a story about how a woman tried to discuss something with a man, and the man actually listened, and didn't spend the time thinking about sex and sports.
.
Ps. Who says that you can't fart after you get married?
 

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Soon to be banned
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14,475 Posts
Gods Gifts...

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.

Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could the bad news possibly be?"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
 

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Soon to be banned
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14,475 Posts
Building a Bridge

While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off.

A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish.

The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ."

"OK, alright" the guy responds.

"Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii."

This pisses the genie off.

He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical."

"Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ."

"Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women."

The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four? "
 

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Soon to be banned
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14,475 Posts
I don't think so...

Kate was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.

Her husband Paul was in the living room drinking a beer and watching the game.

"Honey, you need to come in here and fix the fridge. The door is broke and if you don't fix it the food will go bad." Kate said.

Paul yells back, "Who do I look like the GE man, I Don't think so."

A little while later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the hall light, it's out."

"Who do I look like an electrician, I don't think so, " Paul says.

A few minutes later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the porch step before someone gets hurt on it."

Paul quickly replies, "Who do I look like a carpenter, I don't think so."

Frustrated, he gets up and leaves.

He decides to go to a bar down the road.

After the game was over, he began to feel slightly guilty for the way he treated his wife so he went on home.

He comes up the porch and realizes that the step is fixed.

He walked into the house and noticed that the hall light was fixed.

He walked into the kitchen to get a cold beer and noticed that the fridge was fixed.

Paul sees his wife and says, "Babe, how did you fix all this."

She looked at him and said, "Well after you left I began to cry on the porch.

A fine young man walked past and noticed I was crying and he asked me what he could do to help.

He fixed everything.

I asked him what I could do for payment.

He said I could either bake him a cake or sleep with him."

Paul says, "Well, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

Kate looks at him and replies, "Who do I look like Betty Crocker, I don't think so!"
 

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Goodbye, Pork Pie Hat
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4,614 Posts
Man comes home one night leading a sheep into his bedroom.

His wife wakes up and asks him "what are you doing?"

He says "Honey, this is the pig I told you I've been sleeping with."

His wife says "You idiot, thats not a pig, thats a sheep."

Man says "Shut up, I'm not talking to you...
 
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