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half-fast
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Poop.

I am apparently a man about town now, and have been invited to one of those social events that come with hundred dollar tickets.

I'm thinking this one is probably not suitable for the generic coat and tie. I owned a tuxedo once upon a time, back when I played music. That's long gone, and I haven't rented one since MTV played music on tv.

While I'd rather sit on a pumpkin, I think this is probably mandatory. Where does a fat guy rent a tuxedo that won't look like a leftover from the junior prom?

Life was simpler as a savage nail pounder.
 

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Crusty AF
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1,215 Posts
Poop.

I am apparently a man about town now, and have been invited to one of those social events that come with hundred dollar tickets.

I'm thinking this one is probably not suitable for the generic coat and tie. I owned a tuxedo once upon a time, back when I played music. That's long gone, and I haven't rented one since MTV played music on tv.

While I'd rather sit on a pumpkin, I think this is probably mandatory. Where does a fat guy rent a tuxedo that won't look like a leftover from the junior prom?

Life was simpler as a savage nail pounder.
Don't know where a good place to get one is, but maybe try a good menswear store before the wedding sweatshops. You may have better luck, or be directed appropriately.

Whatever you rent should have the following, in more or less this order, to look like a proper tuxedo and not a hollywood tux/junior prom/wedding costume:

1. black or midnight blue (no greys, navy blue (midgnight is darker than this), or any other colours)
2. single button, peak lapels; grosgrain or self-faced lapels
3. BLACK bow tie. It's called black tie for a reason. Preferably self-tied.
4. turndown collar on your shirt. Pleats are ok, as is pique on the bib.
5. waist covering (vest or cummerbund), in same colour as dinner jacket (again, no going off-script with a contrasting colour of ANY kind)
6. Shoes - if you have plain black dress shoes (ie plain toes, or a cap with no decorative broguing, shine them up and use them. Thinner leather sole is mandatory, not chunky rubber. Patent is not required, but rent them if needed).
7. no back vents preferred, but side vents aren't the end of the world

Get the details right, and you'll look great. A tuxedo is not the place to be expressing individuality (which is why junior proms and most modern weddings look costumey).
 

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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8,151 Posts
I'd start at Joseph A. Bank or Men's Warehouse. I know of one place local to me, but that won't help you
 

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Proud luddite
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Whatever you do, get a tuxedo that's WAY too small for you. Then you can do the "fat guy in a little coat" routine like Chris Farley. That's a great way to impress others.
 

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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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5,128 Posts
A tuxedo is so predictable. I say go with a Nehru jacket. That way, you can be addressed as, "His Royal Ambassador."
Or even better, wear a dashiki. It's the perfect formal attire for the fat guy who wants to evoke a mysterious international flair.

I switched to a dashiki when I got too portly for my nehru jacket.
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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A bow tie that spins when you press a button will show that you aren't stuffy. A squirt flower will do the same thing.
 

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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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Bullwinkle had a tux that would roll up and smack him in the chin.

See if you can rent one of those.
 

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Escorted from the White House
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WWHSD?

What Would Homer Simpson Do?
.
 

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Russian Troll Farmer
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3,416 Posts
Poop.

...... I owned a tuxedo once upon a time, back when I played music. That's long gone, and I haven't rented one since MTV played music on tv.

While I'd rather sit on a pumpkin, I think this is probably mandatory. Where does a fat guy rent a tuxedo that won't look like a leftover from the junior prom?

Life was simpler as a savage nail pounder.
FWIW, a tuxedo is AFTER-dinner and only SEMI-formal. If you are going to a formal dinner wearing a tuxedo, all the "swells" will titter among themselves about "the guy who came in a tuxedo..snicker". It would be the same as a woman wearing a cocktail dress to the symphony; wrong clothing for the occasion. If it's TRULY formal, you need "white tie formal" to keep from looking like a rube.

OTOH, most such dinners, a business suit is OK, assuming you're not dining with Rockefellers.

BTW, several years ago, my partner and I won 2 tickets to the season opening pre-concert gala for the local symphony. Man, were WE out of place, with all the captains of industry, politicians, college deans, and wealthy doctors and lawyers! We spent most of the night chatting with the help....
 
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