Like many here, when I was younger and single, I did not use alcohol responsibly. Often, when I went out I went out to get drunk. There were a couple of reasons for that:
- It was a habit. IOW, that's what "going out" or "partying" meant to me.
- I was lonely, and that feeling kind of went away while drinking.
- I'm very introverted, so being drunk was often the only way to "loosen up" (related to the previous, obviously).
- I went out with friends who got drunk, did drugs, etc.
- It was a way to relieve stress.
- It was something to do.
When I started dating my future wife, that changed many parts of the equation.
- When we went out, we went out to be with each other. We might have wine or beer with a meal, but being drunk alters your personality, and we were trying to get to know each other - and we were liking what we were finding. Not to say we didn't get drunk on occasion, but it wasn't the reason why we went out.
- I wasn't lonely.
- I was dealing with one person, or a small group of people, rather than a crowded bar or club.
- I didn't go out with my "party friends" as often, and soon stopped altogether.
- Although I'd always had other ways to relieve stress (exercise, reading, etc.), now I had someone to talk to when I was stressed (or, just to hold).
- I had better things to do (and, better things to do the morning after).
Your situation may be totally different from mine - you don't provide much information, so instead of giving advice I'm just relating my experience - it may have no relevance to yours at all. In my case, reducing my consumption of alcohol was organic - it was a matter of becoming more mature, finding better things to do on the weekend, getting out of the habit of getting drunk, and hanging out with different people.
I'm fortunate that I am not an alcoholic, so although I certainly abused alcohol, I never needed to do so. Within the past 4 years, a close family member began having trouble with alcohol, and that person is an alcoholic, so I now drink very rarely and only when I'm not around that person (i.e. when I'm in another city). The experience of watching someone struggle with addiction, and being seriously affected by that person's addiction myself, has completely changed my attitude towards alcohol. It is no longer a stress reliever, in fact when drinking I'm very self-aware and so rarely have more than one drink, and I haven't had more than 3 drinks in one sitting in years. So, the heartbreak of dealing with an addict can also lead to a change in the way you deal with alcohol, but I sincerely hope that you never have to go through that.
------------------