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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Folks,

I've noticed something lately when I'm riding on the road, most of the time, but even more so with my daughter in tow in her Chariot...

Most of the time I'm just itchin for a fight. Just waiting for the next motorist to swerve too close, honk and scare the crap out of me, flip me the bird, scream at me, or like the last kid , actually try to run me off the road.

I'm not afraid of them doing these actions... sadly... I'm hoping to get in a screaming match to tear them a new one.

Its negative as hell, its not a good attitude and it bothers me. I'm trying to work on it, but last time that kid tried to run me off the road and I found his mother and informed her.... it felt so damn good.

Thoughts? Biting my tongue doesn't work, cause these things just keep racing thru my mind anyways.
 

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Low rep power
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Therapy. Seriously. Before anybody gets hurt.
 

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I kind of know what you mean.

Physical activity can make you feel aggressive. I get that way too.

Now that you recognize that you feel this way when you're riding, you get to adopt a new mantra as you're riding- "I will not be a d-bag."

It feels good to chase someone who pissed you off. But, thinking about your story from the other day, there are soooooooooo many ways that could have gone wrong that would all end with you in the hospital or worse.

Remember this:

first, you're someone's parent. Act like a grown up. And you being right is going to be no comfort to her at your funeral.

Aaron McGruder who writes "the boondocks" sums it up like this:


Second, History is written by the winners. Had that gone horribly wrong yesterday, you would have been just another crazy biker who swerved without warning into a car and got yourself killed. And the local cyclist would be outraged and no one else would care and the kid/mother/whatever would have gotten off with a ticket.
 

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No Crybabies
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calm

I feel the same way sometimes, usually after reading posts at the Politics Only forum ;-)

Seriously, remember that your kids are always watching you, and you are always teaching them, whether you intend to or not. Also, when you teach your kids, you are teaching your kids' kids.Your anger will last for generations.

I find one theraputic way of handling these situations is to be overly nice. Smile and wave. Do the sarcastic "Have a nice day!" Or, simply ignore them. Resign yourself to the fact that you are not going to teach the idiot a lesson, he's stupid, and there is nothing you can do about it now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I should qualify this : I don't do horrible things. I just ride around imaging them. Kind of like how you always think of the comeback for something too late.

buck-50 - think you might have me confused with someone else. Nothing happened to me latley. If you mean chasing the mom of that kid who tried to run me off the road. I was in my truck and only followed her home to talk to her. Finally, I live in a rural area, we simply do not have "***** moments" tho that video is goddam classic! :)

So in short folks, its not teh actual confronttations I'm botherd by or afraid of, those are VERY easty to mitigate. You walk away and avoid it etc.

What I'm bothered by, is how much of my riding time it occupies. I'm filled with what ifs that really don't happen often enough for me to be spending time on it.
 

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Sounds like an anxiety issue. You should do something about it, if not talking it over with a therapist then meditation or some other kind of reflective process to help you maintain perspective.

It could just be that your protective instinct towards your kid has you keyed up.

Regardless, it sounds like you realize that it is having a negative impact on your life, which is a good start towards overcoming it.

I find myself worrying about silly hypotheticals at times. It can be a real drag.
 

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passive/aggressive
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My cathartic mantra is when someone does something I dislike I try to imagine catching them at the next light, tapping on their window and when they roll it down complimenting them:

"Yo, I love your car, always dreamed of owning a mustang"

"Hey, your bumper sticker made me laugh all the way up here, thanks"

you get the idea. It is hard and actually quite challenging especially if the goal is to actually compliment them, back hands don't count:

"hey, how you like your car? I was gonna get one but them got a Subaru instead"

See that is compliment but backhanded.

Keeps you thinking in a good way not bad. Burn braincells on positive thinking and is actually hard to do. I make myself laugh doing this sometimes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
rockcrusher - good technique.

And PeanutButterBreath - i've over come biggerthings with a shrink and inside my own head, so you're probably right some meditation on it... while biking would proabably settle things.

Sharing helps to, I'm sure alot goes thru everyones head when riding on the road. I don't find my mind wanders nearly the same when on the dirt.
 

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Pedaling Like Mad
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Everyone imagines themselves the hero . Like a Hollywood movie playing in their head, you always win and save the day - the confetti flies, banners are hung and the podium girls have eyes only for you. Perfectly normal.

Then reality hits.

Cars = bad
Whacko drivers = bad
Endangering daughter = bad

Rockcrushers technique should be enshrined.

"Arrows of truth should be tipped with honey." - Arab proverb
 

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Do you feel helpless that such situation happened to you and worse of all at your daughter? That you as a father were unable to act and react to the situation to "protect" your little girl?

May cooler heads prevail.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I have to wonder how many times the driver is crazy enough to ACTUALLY hit the cyclist on purpose. At least where I'm from, rural environment its always only a screaming match.

I simply do not live in that environment. I have lived in them tho, I lived in Montreal and Toronto for a while and it was a much different thing.

Also, car aside, its also cute how everyone in this forum thinks the cyclist has to be the weak skinny unable to defend himself side of the argument. I've been a bouncer, a security guard and have extensive martial arts training, which doesn't give me a false sense of security, but has taught me how to handle a situation. You know when to back down and you know exactly when you can open your mouth and control the situation.

I knew with the "yello crapalier" I was going to control that situation as soon as I saw the kids eyes. There was other times when a motorist screamed at me where I knew "this is not going to go well" and I just smile at them and let them keep screaming and drive away.

So there. I kinda just hijacked my own thread, but I'm tired of the stereotype where the cyclist always has to be the weak passive loser.

Going back to my own thread, dahut pinned it with his first statement, we all see our selves as the heroes in our head. I think this feeling is pretty hard to get away from. I just want to work on ways to not be imagining the situations ocnstant, and just deal with them prudently when they actually do happen, if ever so rarly.

Probably alot of fodder in my post there... this should be good :)
 

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I've made a 'no flipping the bird rule', I now wave. It confuses people FAR more then any aggressive reaction does. Smile and wave, smile and wave. People may be swine, but they get the most confused when you aren't nasty back to them.
 

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Scott B said:
I've made a 'no flipping the bird rule', I now wave. It confuses people FAR more then any aggressive reaction does. Smile and wave, smile and wave. People may be swine, but they get the most confused when you aren't nasty back to them.
+11ty thousand!
 

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buck-50 said:
Aaron McGruder who writes "the boondocks" sums it up like this:

<object height="385" width="480">


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0B9QGrpdu5Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></object>
LOL! Thanks, I needed a laugh :)
 

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AJL said:
LOL! Thanks, I needed a laugh :)
"Get back here, this is a perfectly good opportunity to throw your life away" seems like a pretty decent description of all bike rage vs car rage incidents...
 
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