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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Been putting this off for a while, but I guess it's time to b*tch a little. My wife and I have been trying to get knocked up for almost two years now. Both of us have been checked out and everything comes back fine. Have tried fertility drugs and IUI (think using a turkey baster to put my stuff closer to her stuff) a couple times with no success. Specialist says to give it a couple more trys before considering the next option. First, this is starting to cost a lot of money (and any further options start to cost A LOT of money). Of course none of this is covered by insurance. Second, because it is starting to cost a lot of money we don't want to do ANYTHING that may reducing our chances by even a fraction of a percent. That means no drinking, no riding, no running outside (due to heat and possible SLIGHT decrease in number of my swimmers), no boating (heat and alchohol), weeks of no exercise for my wife after IUI while waiting to see if it took. This really blows - having to pay for something that is supposed to be free and having zero success and then having to sacrifice things you like when no one else has to sacrifice anything. That's all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Both I guess....and to all, I am going to try to be a little nicer in my posts. Maybe one day I'll even host a GTG in Houston.
 

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MCF said:
Been putting this off for a while, but I guess it's time to b*tch a little. My wife and I have been trying to get knocked up for almost two years now. Both of us have been checked out and everything comes back fine. Have tried fertility drugs and IUI (think using a turkey baster to put my stuff closer to her stuff) a couple times with no success. Specialist says to give it a couple more trys before considering the next option. First, this is starting to cost a lot of money (and any further options start to cost A LOT of money). Of course none of this is covered by insurance. Second, because it is starting to cost a lot of money we don't want to do ANYTHING that may reducing our chances by even a fraction of a percent. That means no drinking, no riding, no running outside (due to heat and possible SLIGHT decrease in number of my swimmers), no boating (heat and alchohol), weeks of no exercise for my wife after IUI while waiting to see if it took. This really blows - having to pay for something that is supposed to be free and having zero success and then having to sacrifice things you like when no one else has to sacrifice anything. That's all.
Sorry to hear.

//FWIW...I knocked up my wife 1st try each time and then I got fixed so we wouldn't have to worry about a "mistake" later on.
 

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waterproof*
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Well for our first, we had a similar ordeal. Drugs, a couple of "procedures", testing etc.

For our second... uh nope, just gave the wife a dirty look and she got knocked up.

So, take heart.

Or, if you are at the end of your rope, consider adoption. I can set you up with an extra kid for a quite reasonable price. No paperwork required. Just keep it low key mmkay?
 

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MORE MINIMALISM DANG IT!!
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Bummer. But for what it is worth, We have friends that were trying for 10 years or so, and finally just gave up. One day six years later, BAM! preggo with twins. Same thing happened to my cousin and his wife. My advice is to just give up. (or don't) :)
 

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I've got three kids, all surprises. I seem to be pretty good at it, want me to have a go? :D Only kidding of course.


I've had friends that *tried* for a long time and as soon as they gave up trying and just started enjoying life and guess what?


edit: If you're going to be a failure at something secks would be at the top of my list. Lots of practicing :thumbsup:
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yeah, we have discussed adoption but not sure about it. I think we have decided that if IUI does not take, we may be done and become the creapy couple without kids driving really expensive cars. What's really irritating is that EVERYONE we know has had a baby (or two) in the past 1-3 years. Both my brothers and her sister have multiple children and had no issues. We are not exactly young (38 & 34), but the numbers seem to be ok. And honestly, going in the little room with the porn and what not to give 'my sample' was pretty funny at first, but now after having done it a number of times, it's getting pretty creapy!
 

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DLMKA said:
I've got three kids, all surprises. I seem to be pretty good at it, want me to have a go? :D Only kidding of course.


I've had friends that *tried* for a long time and as soon as they gave up trying and just started enjoying life and guess what?
I suggest a vacation to a tropical climate and lots of booze.
 

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My aunt and uncle had similar problems. Ended up adopting a kid.

Once the pressure was off, 2 more followed without any effort.

Best of luck- It sucks to see people who want kids having such a hard time when people who don't want kids get them so much easier.
 

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MCF said:
having to sacrifice things you like when no one else has to sacrifice anything.
Well, this really isn't true. Be glad your doctor has told you that there's nothing medically preventing it, take your time and enjoy your life.

What's the rush?

My wife and I can't conceive because she has lost 1 1/2 or her egg-makers to various medical maladies, and we are basically left with adoption as an option. We don't see this so much as a "this sux" situation. We are happy to have the option - and if it helps out a kid who otherwise might have a tougher (or no) life, all the better.

I empathize with your plight, but not so much the negativity.

YMMV

HTFU

/Rant
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I haven't really gotten upset about it, but my wife gets pretty upset each time the test shows a negative. She is starting to take the 'it's not fair' attitude. To make things worse, she is a pharmacist at the biggest women's hospital specializing in women having babies and she sees people everyday that shouldn't have any children have their 3rd, 4th, 5th child. We are talking about people with no jobs, etc. etc. We tried the Playa Del Carmen vacation with lots and lots of drinking with morning sessions, afternoon sessions, nooners, 5rs, evening sessions, right way, wrong way, everyway...no such luck....
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
jptaylorsg said:
Well, this really isn't true. Be glad your doctor has told you that there's nothing medically preventing it, take your time and enjoy your life.

What's the rush?

My wife and I can't conceive because she has lost 1 1/2 or her egg-makers to various medical maladies, and we are basically left with adoption as an option. We don't see this so much as a "this sux" situation. We are happy to have the option - and if it helps out a kid who otherwise might have a tougher (or no) life, all the better.

I empathize with your plight, but not so much the negativity.

YMMV

HTFU

/Rant
I understand your point...the rush is our ages - 38 and 34. Clock is ticking I guess, at least in our heads. Everyone has things they have to deal with and I guess this is ours, but of course to us, ours is the worst of course, at least to us.
 

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buck-50 said:
My aunt and uncle had similar problems. Ended up adopting a kid.

Once the pressure was off, 2 more followed without any effort.
Same thing happened to a friend of mine. They tried for 5 years and gave up. She was a former gymnast and figured she'd wrapped herself around a bar a few too many times. They went through the process adopted a kid and within a year she was preggers.

I'm in the BJ camp. 1x and that was it.
 

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jptaylorsg said:
Well, this really isn't true. Be glad your doctor has told you that there's nothing medically preventing it, take your time and enjoy your life.

What's the rush?

My wife and I can't conceive because she has lost 1 1/2 or her egg-makers to various medical maladies, and we are basically left with adoption as an option. We don't see this so much as a "this sux" situation. We are happy to have the option - and if it helps out a kid who otherwise might have a tougher (or no) life, all the better.

I empathize with your plight, but not so much the negativity.

YMMV

HTFU

/Rant

Having the kid is easy. Raising a kid takes sacrifice.
 

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It really isn't fair. Sorry to hear it.

The one thing that I do want to point out is that if you think you are making sacrifices now, wait 'til Jr. comes along.

When you got married, you committed at least half your time to your spouse. Now you will be giving up the other half.

In the future, just know that the new normal will have nothing to do with the old normal. It's all better, but worth knowing that it will be completely different.
 

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My wife and I discussed this before we decided to have kids. We both agreed that if it didn't happen naturally, it probably wasn't going to happen, and we would either not have kids or consider adoption. We have several friends who have done fertility stuff, IVF, etc,, and even things like surrogates, and it was all very stressful and crazy expensive. I don't know how people afford it. It wasn't a road we wanted to go down. Thankfully, it wasn't an issue with us. My wife seemed to get pregnant within minutes of us deciding to go for it. I felt a little cheated, actually. I was looking forward to a lot of "trying" to get pregnant, if you know what I mean.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
q_and_a said:
It really isn't fair. Sorry to hear it.

The one thing that I do want to point out is that if you think you are making sacrifices now, wait 'til Jr. comes along.

When you got married, you committed at least half your time to your spouse. Now you will be giving up the other half.

In the future, just know that the new normal will have nothing to do with the old normal. It's all better, but worth knowing that it will be completely different.
Understood. I don't think we will have any issues sacrificing whatever it takes if/when she is pregnant and we have a child, but right now it is difficult because we feel like we are sacrificing a lot of things we like to do (and spending money) for what appears to be nothing. I mean, if we were told something crazy like if we didn't ride bikes or drink any alcohol for 6 weeks and pay $5000 for procedure x,y,z we would be guaranteed a positive, we would have no problem doing it. Right now it's almost like we are just reaching for straws. Next IUI will occur sometime next week based on current schedule.
 
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