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Bicyclists need to stay on sidewalk, by a MSU student...
Zack Colman


Black 2001 Saturn SC2. That’s the car I drive — and if you’re a bicyclist on
the road but not in a bike path and you see my car, I hope you’re wearing a
helmet, because I might run you over.

Maybe not intentionally.

But you see, with all these things I can do in my car nowadays, such as
choose a different song on my iPod, send a text message while driving or
fall asleep at the wheel because I had to wake up for a worthless 8 a.m.
biology lab, I might not notice you.

And, considering you are where you should not be, I might hit you.

The simple fact of the matter is, MSU has so kindly provided sidewalks for
people on foot and Rollerblades, and MSU’s ordinance should be revised to
require bicyclists be there too. The university has outlined bike paths on
certain roads, but bicyclists can’t just create imaginary bike paths like
they do.

I cannot drive my car on the sidewalk, so why must you ride your bicycle
where I drive?

Many of my friends ride bicycles on campus, so I’m not trying to berate a
whole demographic of students. I appreciate bicyclists who advocate
environmentalism, since they are making up for the damage I do with my car.

I respect bicyclists who use bicycles as a form of exercise, since people
certainly can never get enough fitness in their everyday routines.

But for as much as I respect and appreciate bicyclists, I will not hesitate
to honk at them when they are interfering with the roads.

My concern is not merely about inconvenience.

Bicyclists on the road are a driving hazard to people in automobiles, since
many bicyclists make turns without using hand signals and ride too close to
other vehicles when there is no designated bike path.

For example, I was driving to work Tuesday when a bicyclist pulled up in
front of my car in the right lane on Farm Lane going northbound where it
intersects with Shaw Lane. There is no bike path at this portion of the
road, and I needed to be in the right lane to avoid the left turn only lane, but the bicyclist was in the way.

Instead, I had to speed ahead and veer away from the fast-approaching rear
end of the car in front of me, just barely making it into the right lane.

Some will say I could be more patient on the road.

But roads are for cars, not bicyclists. The bicyclist should not have been
in the car lane.

It’s possible some bicyclists are trying to live out their dreams of being
Lance Armstrong, and the smooth terrain offered by the roads where big,
people-killing cars are designed to travel on are more desirable than the sidewalk pavement.

I get it, bicyclists — you’re in the Tour de France. Well, in your head at
least.

But in reality, my gas-guzzling, carbon footprint-leaving car is trying to
get around you, the bicyclist. And you, the bicyclist, prefer to coast, not
along the side of the lane but in the exact middle.

Maybe in your head you are actually driving a car. Maybe that’s why you
believe you should be behind a pickup truck and in front of 15 other cars
trying to pass you.

And maybe you are Armstrong, so talented and in shape and able to pedal so,
so fast. But Armstrong’s average speed in the 2001 Tour de France was 24.9
mph, which is 0.1 mph less than most of the speed limits on and around
campus.

Plus, I’ve had difficulty finding students who actually obey the speed limit anyway.

It’s common for motorists to drive at least 5 mph above the speed limit,
which makes your task to out-pedal Lance Armstrong all the more daunting.
And considering you’re not actually Armstrong (even if you do wear a skintight yellow bicycle uniform), you likely are not going 24.9 mph.

And, oh yeah, Armstrong is competing when he is bicycling — your leisurely ride through campus might not even register on a police radar.
But, hey, snap out of it. You’re not Lance Armstrong.
And those are the headlights of my black 2001 Saturn SC2 bearing down on
you.

Zack Colman is the State News opinion writer. Reach him at [email protected]
edu.
 

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Lemur-ing
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Awesome that there's an email address.

So if you're riding a motorcycle, or are crossing the street, this bastard might run you over too?

So many things I can say but I guess I'll just let that job be taken care of by others.
 

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He's a selfish tool.

I don't know why you posted that here, it's not worth the 1s and 0s it took to write.
- somebody needs to update the "it's not worth the paper it's written on" phrase for the digital age.
 

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Dr. Nob said:
it's not worth the 1s and 0s it took to write.
- somebody needs to update the "it's not worth the paper it's written on" phrase for the digital age.
I like it. I'll try to use it sometime soon :D
 

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Everybody on that campus, be on the lookout for a black 2001 Saturn SC2. That guy might be hunting cyclists.
 

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Steaming piles of opinion
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I was hoping it was satire.

Sadly, this is the opinion of many drivers.
 

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I am tired of everyone who *****es about cyclist always has to bring up that we are all trying to act like Lance Armstrong. Don't get me wrong if I was half as good as Lance I would be a bada$$....but just because I wear cycling shorts does not mean I am trying to be like him. Getting old....
 

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This can't possibly be a college level student. It takes 713 words of non-sensical ramblings to force his reader to gather the point of the article is "Bikers, get off the road or I might kill you".

D-

I gave him the half grade credit due to the fact that he knowingly (?) started a sentence with "And" to be coy to see if we'd catch it. Yeah right.....dude. No wonder Japanese students excel in today's world.
 

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Saturn SC2? are you kidding me?

mav6162005 said:
Black 2001 Saturn SC2. That’s the car I drive — and if you’re a bicyclist on
the road but not in a bike path and you see my car, I hope you’re wearing a
helmet, because I might run you over.
I would have atleast lied and said I drove a little bit better car than a 8 year old saturn SC2. I think if he hit me, his car would probably break or atleast get the worst end of the ordeal. I think two saturn SC2 could fit in the same lane, he should have no problem getting around cyclists. hah dont push that 4 cylinder go cart up the hill to hard, you might roll back down.
 

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road bike resurrector
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I'm gonna have some fun with this one, thanks for the email. time for the ownage :17:
 

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i love the fact he defends his argument by admitting to speeding, road rage, and not paying attention while driving by sending texts and changing songs on his ipod. If anything this should be an article on why some people shouldn't be allowed to drive.
 

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road bike resurrector
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JoelS said:
According to the editor at the paper, this article was intended as satire. IMO, the author just sucks at it.
**** i just caught that lol
 

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JoelS said:
According to the editor at the paper, this article was intended as satire. IMO, the author just sucks at it.
****... I was having so much fun thinking about driving to MSU and doing terrible terrible things to every black 2001 saturn SC2 I could find. Shame. I wonder if it really was satire or if they're just saying that cause so many people got angry.
 
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