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Cook and clean or Cook: othe cleans

  • You cook = you clean

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  • You cook and partner cleans

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  • We eat out for all of our meals

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
For those married or living with a sig other or other....

When you cook a meal, are you then resposible for cleaning up or is your partner who did not cook. See poal.

I cook using as few pots/dishes as possible and clean as I go. When it is ready, there is almost no mess. The wife uses all sorts of crazy contraptions, bowls, mixers, etc. and gets flower, sugar, etc all over. When she is done the conuters, stove, and sometimes floor is a mess.

So I say you cook, you clean. She wants me to clean up when she cooks. I Say BS. If you have to clean up after me, you never have to clean.

What says the lounge?
 

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Descender
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Good question as I live in the same situation, when I am done cooking the place is basically clean - when my wife cooks its a disaster.
However - she does most of the cooking (and is better) and therefore I help clean up after she is done.
 

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eminence grease
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In my house stuff just happens. We don't discuss the division of labor, both of us just do what needs to be done and there are no hard feelings. I think "I do, you do" discussions are the first step on the road to incredible pain and suffering. Making little "fairness" notes in the Mental Spreadsheet just builds resentment.

Best of luck for the both of you.
 

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Master debator.
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I am the better cook of the two of us. I am also the cleanest.

It still amazes me after all these years (and women) how sloppy women can be.

I guess the extra time is spent in front of a mirror, what do I know?
 

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terry b said:
In my house stuff just happens. We don't discuss the division of labor, both of us just do what needs to be done and there are no hard feelings. I think "I do, you do" discussions are the first step on the road to incredible pain and suffering. Making little "fairness" notes in the Mental Spreadsheet just builds resentment.

Best of luck for the both of you.
I agree wholeheartedly with what Terry has said here. I think the "Mental Spreadsheet" was a contributing factor to the demise of my last relationship. With my current SO, we have both done a good job so far of taking on as much of the load as we can, and that seems to leave both of us feeling cared for and supported. Some nights I slack off and she picks it up, and vice versa, but the lack of score-keeping keeps either of us from being particularly concerned.
 

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Hermia commutes
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My husband hates cleaning the kitchen after I cook. I hate coming up with ideas for dinner. Also, he's a way better cook than I am. So he cooks, I clean. The exception is my baking. For some reason, I clean up after my own baking. But since that tends to be weekly rather than nightly it's not a big deal.

I'd say that the simple answer is to stop cleaning as you go. Then it's equal. :)
 

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I cook, kids clean. Well, kids are supposed to clean. They have an amazing ability to leave behind more than they clean and call it "done."
 

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Whoever cooks here doesn't clean. I have my sisters so we sometimes take turns but I have one that when its her turn to clean always suggests spaghetti, so all she has to wash is one pot of sauce and one pot of pasta, cause she makes us eat with paper plates and plastic forks. While I usually do the cooking, I am the only one that does the grocery shopping so even when I don't cook I don't do dishes because I was the one who got all the food.
 

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the cook never cleans...

I hate doing dishes because it kills my back, I'm tall and the sink is pretty short so I'm hunched over all the time.

Chad
 

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To my understanding in a home situation...if your in charge of the cooking, then your in charge of the cleaning as you have control of the kitchen.

I entertain a fair bit and by the time dinner is served all the cooking utensils are cleaned and even the plates are warm ready for the meal. Mind you I bluff em with red wine and make it look easy....easy enough.

My chopping board is at a comfortable hight so I make little mess and the kitchen was built to be as practical as possible.

I also don’t like people touching my knives so when the partner stays over she is banned from anything in the kitchen apart coffee duty as she nearly took her fingers off whilst having a go…Chefs love sharp knives!!
 

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sdeeer said:
The wife uses all sorts of crazy contraptions, bowls, mixers, etc...
When she is done the conuters, stove, and sometimes floor is a mess.

What says the lounge?
I'd say after that show you could at least cook her dinner and wash the dishes while she cleans up her conuter.
 

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terry b said:
In my house stuff just happens. We don't discuss the division of labor, both of us just do what needs to be done and there are no hard feelings. I think "I do, you do" discussions are the first step on the road to incredible pain and suffering. Making little "fairness" notes in the Mental Spreadsheet just builds resentment.

Best of luck for the both of you.
^ This. I didn't get married to keep score.
 

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ETWN Stu said:
To my understanding in a home situation...if your in charge of the cooking, then your in charge of the cleaning as you have control of the kitchen.

I entertain a fair bit and by the time dinner is served all the cooking utensils are cleaned and even the plates are warm ready for the meal. Mind you I bluff em with red wine and make it look easy....easy enough.

My chopping board is at a comfortable hight so I make little mess and the kitchen was built to be as practical as possible.

I also don’t like people touching my knives so when the partner stays over she is banned from anything in the kitchen apart coffee duty as she nearly took her fingers off whilst having a go…Chefs love sharp knives!!
what kind of knives do you have?

I'm sitting here sharpening my Forschner/Victorinox set.

Chad
 

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Nimitz said:
what kind of knives do you have?

I'm sitting here sharpening my Forschner/Victorinox set.

Chad
I use French made Sabatier Carbon steel blades :thumbsup:

Been in my family for about 40years and are still like new...I always threw other peoples knive and not mine:)
 

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sdeeer said:
For those married or living with a sig other or other....

When you cook a meal, are you then resposible for cleaning up or is your partner who did not cook. See poal.

I cook using as few pots/dishes as possible and clean as I go. When it is ready, there is almost no mess. The wife uses all sorts of crazy contraptions, bowls, mixers, etc. and gets flower, sugar, etc all over. When she is done the conuters, stove, and sometimes floor is a mess.

So I say you cook, you clean. She wants me to clean up when she cooks. I Say BS. If you have to clean up after me, you never have to clean.

What says the lounge?

I think this is like shark infested waters,Im a pro chef so I dont really know where this stands I cook a decent portion of my day for my company (correctional food service, its where the $'s @) but I have to cook at home on occassion and well she does the dishes. Would she like me to do them, yes. Will I, No. Because Im the boss, and I dont think she realizes how much I clean as I go. A couple pots and the plate she eats off isn't much to ask after I make her a nice meal.
 

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Nimitz said:
what kind of knives do you have?

I'm sitting here sharpening my Forschner/Victorinox set.

Chad

I own wuhstof but some day I will own a Michel Bras (when Im power ballin)
 
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