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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone, well long story short i am getting away from my wife. Its been a long, good at many times, but lately the last few years not good ride. So i am getting out of the house. Here was some questions:

I am leaving the house, and i was thinking of turning off the internet, house phone, and tv. But leaving the electricity on. She has her cell phone so she isnt out of contact, that sound ok?

I am going to stop paying on the house to afford to move to my own apartment. The house was bought during our marriage but is solely in my name. So i just want to drop everything and get away. If the house goes to forclosure so be it, i have to get.

Thats where i am finally. 2 years ago she sliced me with a corkscrew, and i forgave her. Now she has pulled another knife on me, threatened me again, slapped me, and i just beat feet and got out. She destroyed almost all my stuff so i dont have that to move. My bikes are locked up for now in the garage and i will try to get them out tommrrow morning, till then i cant do much.

Any and all advice about this situation and divorce willl be gratefully accepted.

Bill
 

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The police should have been called each and every time violence was attempted. You can bet your ass that you'd be sitting in prison right now if you would have been the one to threaten violence and proceed with violence.

If the house is in your name you need to keep it. She is not going to pay the bills and probably will purposely do everything she can to destroy you. This is no longer a game and you need to do whatever is best for you. F^ck her.
 

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Yes, it sounds like you need out. I'm not experienced in divorce but wanted to say I'm sorry. You'll get a bunch of posts on this by experienced people, which unfortunately we have more than a couple of. Best of luck.
 

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crossracer said:
I am going to stop paying on the house to afford to move to my own apartment. The house was bought during our marriage but is solely in my name. So i just want to drop everything and get away. If the house goes to forclosure so be it, i have to get.

why throw away your biggest asset??? Can't you move in with a friend or relative until the dust settles? I get that you can't afford both, but why give it up?

oh, and get the bikes out asap before she saws them in half.

good luck Bill -
 
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Bill:

Sorry for your situation.

My background is finance/banking. I have no first hand knowledge of the emotional side of what you're going through, but do know the financial trainwreck that will ensue for you should you "just walk away" if the house is in your name alone. You will resolve your relationship one way or the other over a relatively short time (although I'm guessing it will seem like an eternity), but the financial side will haunt you for years.

So, before you do anything that "feels" good or right or just, contact a good divorce attorney for advice. He or she will get your through the landmines before you blow your foot/leg/torso off.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thnaks everyone. I have had some time getting ready for this, she hasnt been stable in a few years, i just kept hoping it would get better. As for the house part of its greatest value is that it sits on a lot that can be split off and sold seperatly for another house. Cant really hurt land.

I thank you all and do understand that the house is my biggest piece. However there isnt much equity in it and honestly it is now filled with bad memories. Delaware divorce law says we split 50-50 so that is fine. I am going to get out and get safe and then wait and file for divorce. De. says i have to wait 6 months. for that. SO the house can sit, i will concentrate on keep the rest of my credit stuff which she doesnt have access to safe and sound. WOrse she can do is trash the house, and she has allready done that.

I am hoping to go get the bikes in the morning when i get off work. I can take three of them and store them at the shop. Once thats done i am going to just stay away. What damage that is done is done. And before i go back again i will contact the police to accompany me.

Thanks again everyone, just getting this out and on paper (so to speak) helps alot.

Bill
 

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crossracer said:
Thnaks everyone. I have had some time getting ready for this, she hasnt been stable in a few years, i just kept hoping it would get better. As for the house part of its greatest value is that it sits on a lot that can be split off and sold seperatly for another house. Cant really hurt land.

I thank you all and do understand that the house is my biggest piece. However there isnt much equity in it and honestly it is now filled with bad memories. Delaware divorce law says we split 50-50 so that is fine. I am going to get out and get safe and then wait and file for divorce. De. says i have to wait 6 months. for that. SO the house can sit, i will concentrate on keep the rest of my credit stuff which she doesnt have access to safe and sound. WOrse she can do is trash the house, and she has allready done that.

I am hoping to go get the bikes in the morning when i get off work. I can take three of them and store them at the shop. Once thats done i am going to just stay away. What damage that is done is done. And before i go back again i will contact the police to accompany me.

Thanks again everyone, just getting this out and on paper (so to speak) helps alot.

Bill
Christ...what a situation. I hope you find some resolution. That's no way to live.
 

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Thats a lot of suck man.

You may want to look into it but I do not think, being married, you can have a house "in your name alone". The financing may be in your name, but the house, again I think, is half hers.
 

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I co-owned a house with my ex (not married, but common-law), and moved out last September. We were in a negative equity situation, so when she offered to take the mortgage and house solely in her name, I signed it over as fast as I could and GTFO. If she hasn't devalued the house to the point where you no longer have equity, don't let your half get away.
 

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Hollywood said:
why throw away your biggest asset??? Can't you move in with a friend or relative until the dust settles? I get that you can't afford both, but why give it up?
Exactly.

With the history of violence, I don't know ... I would think you'd come out of the divorce with your house in hand.
 

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Teh Lounge is good as far as it goes but you need solid legal advice.

See a lawyer pronto!
 

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c_kyle said:
The police should have been called each and every time violence was attempted. You can bet your ass that you'd be sitting in prison right now if you would have been the one to threaten violence and proceed with violence. QUOTE]

Spot on there.Its not to late to go to the police station and make a statement and get an AVO on her.. All the best keep your head up and tell everyone so she has some shame out in public.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks everyone, i am going to get solid legal advice asap. I did out my bills and i can afford to still pay the house note. Worst i might fall one month behind. THats the price i have to pay then i will pay it.

And i willl get solid legal advice, i just need some time to vent. THe waymy mind works i will be fine by next week at this time. I just need to get away from that toxic relationship. I wish her well, but her future and mine are no longer on the same track.

Bill
 

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I am in a hurry right now but sorry to hear about your situation. One thing that you may consider: if you go rent an apartment or whatever, you make it "appear" that you have expendable cash. If your divorce goes through the court system, this will be something that would work in her favor (if you are looking at monthly pay to her).

Again, sorry about what's happening.
 

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Get a lawyer with big teeth and a mean disposition who is totally committed to looking after you. No need to take a beating just to be free of this mess.
All the best
 

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I AM a lawyer.

No matter how badly you feel or how much you want to decompress, SEE A LAWYER IN THE MORNING ON MONDAY.

Do not delay. I mean that. She WILL start f**king up your life as soon as she wakes up on Monday. It has never failed in my 40 years of law practice.

Self defense is the first rule of life. Get the help of an experienced, uninvolved, professional. Let him (or her) play the bad guy. In the long run, the lawyer will save you many bucks for every penny you spend. The earlier you spend the lawyer money, the more you'll save. Act fast.

DO NOT DELAY.
 

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Do not move out of the house until you talk to a lawyer.
 

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Have you seen a lawyer yet?

I'm not a lawyer. But I have done some research into divorce and what's involved. First, the house being in your name doesn't matter. It is still a marital asset. Don't move out, as it could constitute abandonment. She is entitled to half of the asset appreciation during the marriage. That may be nothing, that may be something.

You need to get a restraining order against her and get her out of the house, as she is the violent one. Follow through with the restraining order and make it stick.

Close all joint accounts, credit cards, and anything else you can. If she has credit cards in her name only get them closed if you can. You are still responsible for half (or more, depending on income differentials) of her spending and debt. You need a legal separation ASAP to stop the bleeding.

If you have kids it will really complicate matters.

You need a lawyer.
 
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