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Premium Member
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First some background: Mrs. S and I have had Titanic battles over the years about the decoration of our house. For example: Although we agree on colors, I like solids and stripes, she likes flowers/patterns, etc. It took us six months prior to our marriage before we could agree on a china pattern. Mrs. S tries to use as a trump card her claim that the house is a woman's domain and men should not care about such things. I don't care about other people's houses, I want my house to look the way I want it to. Well, now my firm is in the process of remodeling the office -- we are adding a new conference room and rearranging some of the offices. We need to buy some new furniture and decorations. Our office manager (female) and I just had a heated discussion about the new furniture. I vetoed several things. When I said that it would be over my dead body that a fake flower arrangement would sit on a table in the reception area, the office manager exclaimed: "I never have met a man who cares about such things." My position is just because I have a Y chromosome and like girls does not mean that I don't care about what things look like.

Do I have any male allies here. Or, do I need to change my sex or, at least, my sexual preference?

BTW: Here is a picture of the china pattern on which Mrs. S and I agreed after six months of searching an negotiation. You will notice that each of our decorating preferences were accommodated.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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22,021 Posts
You need to pick your spots & your fights.

Me, if my wife is happy, I'm happy. The only things I have an opinion about are my bike shop, my home office & photographs I have personally taken.

It is one of those things that is more important to my wife than to me.

Len
 

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Stumpcake!
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5,950 Posts
Oh my! Mark I feel your pain but I think Len has the best coarse of action. I'm a perfectionist and Mrs Tcon is a "gist" kind of gal. Sometimes we have "interesting" moments over really absurd things.
 

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Opus was just napping
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First...fake plants are the worst--unless your interest is in collecting dust.

Last...the China pattern--wow--I shudder to think of the patterns you vetoed.
 

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Quiet, daddy's drinking
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5,887 Posts
I am so glad my wife and I have the same taste in furniture, colors etc. And no, I don't think either party should be able to dictate how something looks based on outmoded stereotypes.
 

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Glue Sniffer
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4,598 Posts
My husband does most of the decorating. I do the organizing. It works out well.

But, what I can't get over is...China patterns? I thought people only got those in movies.
 

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Spicy Dumpling
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9,721 Posts
My wife and I aren't slobs but we aren't neat freaks. Our idea is that if it's a choice between vacuuming and housework or spending time together riding or outdoors we'll hit the trails. We'd rather spend our lives having fun than having a perfect house.

Now my office is a tangled mess of books, soda cans, 10+ cellphones, cables and test equipment. Not pretty.
 

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Shirtcocker
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60,639 Posts
catzilla said:
My husband does most of the decorating. I do the organizing. It works out well.

But, what I can't get over is...China patterns? I thought people only got those in movies.
I get white...that goes with everything.

//that said we do have fancy china and silver...it's inherited and probably 3-4 generations old--I had no say in the pattern--nor did I care. We use it 2x a year at most.
 

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Off the back
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1,850 Posts
I count myself among the lucky to have a wife with similar tastes in decor.

Solids/stripes = neutral
Flowers/paisley = grandma's house

Now if I could only get her to like Ikea furniture instead of Ethan Allen...
 

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Motorator
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4,166 Posts
Here I sit in my bright, shocking red office room saying..... if you have ideas how a place should be, put them forth and things'll work out. It's important to have ideas, though. If you don't have much other than criticism of other people's ideas & tastes, then your delegation skills could be suspect.
 

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Premium Member
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
catzilla said:
My husband does most of the decorating. I do the organizing. It works out well.

But, what I can't get over is...China patterns? I thought people only got those in movies.
Just call us Mr. and Mrs. Bridge. We not only had a china pattern, but Mrs. S's came with a trousseau of monogrammed towels, linens and silver that her grandmother had assembled.

The interesting thing is that in broad terms, Mrs. S and I agree on decorating and style -- both of us like old furniture and traditional decor. But, the devil is in the details. As the years have gone by, we have agreed on more and more things. In fact, after 20+ years of marriage, we were able to agree on the fabric for the new curtains in the living room. The curtains have not been made yet (that's another story), but at least we have the fabric.
 

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.·*°¤`*·.·*´¤°*·.·*°¤`*·.
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I think you have a right to your opinions. If this stuff bothers you then I think it's all good to voice your views. I personally would appreciate someone with good taste to intervene on some crappy plastic arrangement. On the other hand, it also might be a good opportunity to practice the art of "letting go" and just letting things be. You don't have to let any of these things bother you and if you continually feed this hungry side of you to fix your surroundings, you may end up stressing over too many unimportant details in life - in effect provoking the need for heart meds and bran muffins. Maybe you just need a mancave so you can finally have things just how you likem. :thumbsup:
 

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eminence grease
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18,538 Posts
I care a lot about that stuff but I made the very wise choice of marrying someone who has similar tastes. And when we disagree I generally give in because it's usually over something extremely subtle and not worth the fight. We both like simple, not too modern and are perfectly happy with the style that flies here in the SW.

I remember well how I felt during the interegnum between Wife v1.0 and Wife v2.0 - I was scared to death that I would meet someone and get attached and discover that they liked American Colonial style furnishings. And then I would have to dump her when I was at my must incapable of doing so.

BTW - your china pattern would have been enough for me to walk and not look back.
 

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Back from the dead
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20,626 Posts
I had selected all the colors in the house before I got married, so my choices prevailed! But there's no way I would let my wife select any colors or patterns or furniture for the house without my approval. And that works both ways. I wouldn't dream of forcing my choices through without her approval. Thankfully, these are not battles we ever get into.

But the BS about how men should not care about things? Man, what a double standard that sets up. Try telling your wife that women shouldn't care about something someday. When you're out buying a car, for example. I'll bet she gets mighty pissed.
 

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Sticky Valentine
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28,404 Posts
I'm not married, so I wouldn't understand.

But, in that position, I could probably tell you how my brain would work.

if I were married to a woman who had a strong opinion of how the house should look I'd probably just go with it. It's not that I don't care, or that I wouldn't try to get colors I liked or anything, but it's because honestly I don't know a thing about how a house should go together. I mean, I can hardly dress myself.

I've been dating a girl for under two months now and she's helped me pick out clothes where, now, all of a sudden, people start complimenting me on them and telling me that I look good in them. I mean, in my office, the only part of it that has anything in it to dress it up at all is the part I look directly at 99% of the time. There's literally nothing behind me other than a box full of crap that I never unpacked when i changed offices and an empty filing cabinet.

So I guess that I'd be starting the entire conversation with whomever I end up marrying assuming that I don't know how such things should be put together and just try to make sure that there wasn't any lace. Then I'd build a shed in the back yard where I could keep my bikes and tools and tape up CAKE posters in my direct line of sight and feel proud of myself.


joe
 

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still shedding season
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8,849 Posts
My wife is an interior designer and has very good taste. The arguements that we get in are that I think she should just handle it because I'm really not that interested in most of it. Seriously, I have a hard time getting her to understand I'd rather go NNC-ing, paddling or even pick up dawg pewp than shop for cabinet hardware and I know whatever choice she makes will be good.
 

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Motorator
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4,166 Posts
MarkS said:
... after 20+ years of marriage, we were able to agree on the fabric for the new curtains in the living room. The curtains have not been made yet (that's another story), but at least we have the fabric.
Yikes!! :eek::p
 
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