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It's all ball bearings
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Time for my emo post of the week.

I've had people tell me pretty much throughout my whole life that I am "quiet"... but this has always bugged the hell out of me because in my perception, I feel like I initiate/contribute to conversations as much as most people.

In fact, I have been in one-on-one situations (dates or whathaveyou) where I am CERTAIN that I did the lion's share of the talking and at some point later the other person who I was talking with would comment that I'm really quiet. FTW!

Not that I particularly care, it's just that society seems to perceive quietness as being a unfavorable trait, and that kinda bugs me to begin with.

Fhut the wuck!

//emo
 

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p != b
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2,303 Posts
I get that a lot, but I agree (that I typically am quiet).

Unless you get me talking about bikes, or cars, or computers. Then I'm not quiet. But most of those conversations don't tend to happen with the people who think I'm quiet.
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
i'm generally quiet, so i can't really argue.
 

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Steaming piles of opinion
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10,503 Posts
It's not about how much you say, or how loudly you say it, but what you talk about.

Being told you are quiet is being told that you seem emotionally distant to them.



I'm with you. Too much loudness and prattling on in this world anyway. People should talk to themselves more - and listen when they do.
 

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Mehpic
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8,162 Posts
Andrea138 said:
It just means that you don't have diarrhea of the mouth. I consider it a positive attribute, but it makes some people uncomfortable.

most people need noise, and like to hear themselves talk. a quiet person does neither.
 

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It's not easy being green
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314 Posts
I've always said it's the quiet ones you have to watch. It means that you intimidate people. Nothing wrong with it! You are secure within yourself and don't need to constantly talk all the time to make yourself feel secure. I'll shut up now.
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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24,427 Posts
When people say that to me I usually tell them that I was just thinking about how to "do-in" the people on my enemies list. After that exchange, they usually go away and leave me alone.
 

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It's all ball bearings
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5,258 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
danl1 said:
It's not about how much you say, or how loudly you say it, but what you talk about.
Well that's just it! That's what bugs me about the whole thing! Some people who talk a lot don't say much that is worth hearing...but still, people seem to respect them more for being "outgoing".

Like the other day, I was hanging out after a day of skiing in a group of 8 or 9 people, half of whom were buddies, the other half I didn't know... and three people in the group were uber loudmouth need-to- be-center-of-attention/life-of-the-party types who came across (to me, anyway) as being ridiculously try-hard with their constant forced witty remarks, etc. Yet, everyone else seemed to buy into their blathering. And with the three of them constantly trying to talk over each other, the rest of us could hardly squeeze a word in edgewise. So when I got up to leave at the end of the evening, one of them said condescendingly, "well you don't say much but was nice hanging out with you anyway!" It pissed the hell out of me.


Being told you are quiet is being told that you seem emotionally distant to them.
Well put. Never really thought of it from that angle.
 

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eminence grease
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18,538 Posts
That's been a cross I've had to bear for my entire life starting with being relegated to the special "after school club for spookily introverted 3rd graders" to being labled that by countless women who also added that "they find it sexy and mysterious." For all the good that did me.

The funny thing is, drop me in a leadership vacuum where no one is taking charge and I suddenly become the most loquacious, outgoing guy on the planet. So I have the skills to overcome it if I chose to.

For me, it's situational. I'm more comfortable being self-contained but have no problem leading the conversation, making the plans and barking orders if the moreons need to be led to get something done.

I wonder how many people have those two sides.
 

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It's all ball bearings
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5,258 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
terry b said:
The funny thing is, drop me in a leadership vacuum where no one is taking charge and I suddenly become the most loquacious, outgoing guy on the planet. So I have the skills to overcome it if I chose to.

For me, it's situational. I'm more comfortable being self-contained but have no problem leading the conversation, making the plans and barking orders if the moreons need to be led to get something done.

I wonder how many people have those two sides.

I definitely do! I'm right there with you. It's completely situational, and I often find myself playing the "alpha" role within a more reserved group. That's the paradox of it all.

women who also added that "they find it sexy and mysterious."
Well I have yet to hear that one.
 

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It's all ball bearings
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5,258 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Andrea138 said:
It just means that you don't have diarrhea of the mouth. I consider it a positive attribute, but it makes some people uncomfortable.
Well I'm glad *someone* feels that way!
 

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Fini les ecrase-"manets"!
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9,416 Posts
terry b said:
That's been a cross I've had to bear for my entire life starting with being relegated to the special "after school club for spookily introverted 3rd graders" to being labled that by countless women who also added that "they find it sexy and mysterious." For all the good that did me.

The funny thing is, drop me in a leadership vacuum where no one is taking charge and I suddenly become the most loquacious, outgoing guy on the planet. So I have the skills to overcome it if I chose to.

For me, it's situational. I'm more comfortable being self-contained but have no problem leading the conversation, making the plans and barking orders if the moreons need to be led to get something done.

I wonder how many people have those two sides.
Me, for one.
 

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Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
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27,036 Posts
Are you a low talker?

If you've actually made conscious observations about how much of the conversation you're holding up, then I would argue that you're quiet and you know you're quiet.

I'm definitely quiet, but more so in group settings than one-on-one.

///And no, there's nothing wrong with being quiet. Most the time people just think I'm stuck up.
 

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It's all ball bearings
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5,258 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
MR_GRUMPY said:
When people say that to be I usually tell them that I was just thinking about how to "do-in" the people on my enemies list.

Ahahaha, priceless.
 
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