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rooster rubber
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My wife is scheduled to go to the hospital this Monday to deliver our second child :)

The birth of our first child was anything but uneventful and ultimately ended in an emegency c-section. This was after 20 hours of labor (my wife never dilated more than 2cm) in which the lives of both my wife/child were at risk.

Her current doctor is the same one that performed the emergency c-section 7 years ago. He is very non-commital regarding the method of birth for baby #2. He says it is up to my wife and has outlined the risks, based on her history, of both natural child birth (ruptured uterus/danger to baby and mother) or c-section (infection/danger to the mother.)

At each visit we have asked for his educated opinion regarding which method he feels would be best based on my wife's history and his experience. He simply keeps spouting the same "it's up to you to decide." We have our last appointment with him tomorrow before the delivery and I'm going to try to nail him down again. If he gives us the same song/dance I'm afraid I'm going to lose my temper.

Am I off-base? Isn't he obligated to give us his professional opinion?
 

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cdaddy said:
We have our last appointment with him tomorrow before the delivery and I'm going to try to nail him down again. If he gives us the same song/dance I'm afraid I'm going to lose my temper.
You are going to get upset that he maintains his position? That he treats you like adults who can make their own decision?
 

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rooster rubber
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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
coreyb said:
You are going to get upset that he maintains his position? That he treats you like adults who can make their own decision?
That's what's frustrating. He has no "position." What I'd like to hear is "option #1 is less risky than option #2." At this point we have no idea. I can make decisions about lots of things but It's not like we're asking what color tile looks best in the bathroom. I'm a little out of my league here.
 

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Fat'r + Slow'r than TMB
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It sounds like there is no riskier side though. Perhaps, just like the first birth he wants to see how things progress and only do a C-section if needed. Things can and do change as you found out in the first birth. Now some folks are having scheduled C-sections and if you really wanted the kid out, he would be more than glad to do that for you.
 

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rooster rubber
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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
jupiterrn said:
It sounds like there is no riskier side though. Perhaps, just like the first birth he wants to see how things progress and only do a C-section if needed. Things can and do change as you found out in the first birth.
jupiterrn, Now that's an answer that makes sense. Why he hasn't he said it like that? It's always been simply "the decision is up to you" without any elaboration. We're both a bit on edge based upon our first experience but he doesn't seem to pick up on that. It may be old hat for him but we're a little nervous. His bedside manner sucked 7 years ago too.
 

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cdaddy said:
That's what's frustrating. He has no "position."
Sure he does--his position is that this is your decision to make.
cdaddy said:
What I'd like to hear is "option #1 is less risky than option #2."
He's told you what the risks are. The risks are different for each. Deciding which one is riskier requires deciding which things are more important, which is not something he can decide for you
 

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Hermia commutes
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In his defense, a lot of ob's are getting slammed for being overly cautious and recommending second-child c-sections without even allowing a woman to consider a vbac. So he could be actually trying to let it really be your decision. My guess is it's about six of one half dozen of another as far as predicting risks either way. So it really is up to what you and your wife feel is the best option for you. Does she have a burning desire to give birth vaginally? I have friend who feels like she hasn't "given birth" because she had a c-section, so she might be inclined to try to avoid one. My sister, on the other hand, prefers the devil she knows over the devil she doesn't, so will just do a c-section for the second one. What do you two want?

Granted, if his bedside manner has always been skimpy, then that's just what you're going to get...
 

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Power Napper
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When you say "scheduled" to go in to have the baby, does that mean they are inducing her from the get go? Any particular reason why he's not waiting for labor to start on it's own? Quite frankly induction by itself could increase the chances for a second C-section. I delivered quite a number of VBACs back in my midwifery days. Is this doc the only one in the practice? How many successful VBACs has he delivered? Has he given you any of his personal stats?
 

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cdaddy said:
We're both a bit on edge based upon our first experience but he doesn't seem to pick up on that. It may be old hat for him but we're a little nervous. His bedside manner sucked 7 years ago too.
Why do you think the second birth will be the same as the first?

You say 'We're both a bit on edge based upon our first experience but he doesn't seem to pick up on that'. Why do you think he'd pick up on your tension? Are you guys the only patients he's had in the last 7 years? Are you sending your doubts telepathically? Have you voiced your doubts to the doctor?

If you have doubts about his ability/skills/manner, and didn't like the aforementioned the first time around, why are you with him again? Is he the only OB in your metro area?

You also say 'we're a little nervous'. Have you told him about your concerns, and asked direct questions?

Unless you're in a really restricted insurance situation, you should have many choices.

You've expressed doubts about his manner, his skills, and you come to the Lounge for advice. There are a few medicos here, but the rest of us are just parents or bystanders.

Good luck.
 

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rooster rubber
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Discussion Starter · #11 · (Edited)
Induction or C-section. That's the choice. Her original due date was last week. Our first one was late as well - by almost 2 weeks. The doc induced delivery then too. He weighed in at 9lbs.

Regarding VBACs, that's a good question. I can ask tomorrow. Probably something we should have checked into awhile ago, not 4 days before the delivery.
 

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rooster rubber
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Discussion Starter · #12 · (Edited)
murbike said:
Why do you think the second birth will be the same as the first?

You say 'We're both a bit on edge based upon our first experience but he doesn't seem to pick up on that'. Why do you think he'd pick up on your tension? Are you guys the only patients he's had in the last 7 years? Are you sending your doubts telepathically? Have you voiced your doubts to the doctor?

If you have doubts about his ability/skills/manner, and didn't like the aforementioned the first time around, why are you with him again? Is he the only OB in your metro area?

You also say 'we're a little nervous'. Have you told him about your concerns, and asked direct questions?

Unless you're in a really restricted insurance situation, you should have many choices.

You've expressed doubts about his manner, his skills, and you come to the Lounge for advice. There are a few medicos here, but the rest of us are just parents or bystanders.

Good luck.
We reminded him during our first visit of the difficulties with birth #1. He assured us he remembered it well. He's seen my wife on numberous occasions during the past seven years because he's also her gynocologist.

Based upon our past experience he should be aware of our nervousness and we've been very up front regarding our questions, ultimately simply asking on several occassions which method he would recommend.

I know there's several medicos and lots of parents who frequent Teh Lownge, it's the reason I posted the question here and I appreciate the advice so far.

FWIW, I think we're leaning c-section at this point. We may change our minds again tomorrow :mad2:
 

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Ultimately it's up to the the two of you. The doc should present to you
all the risks and complications of both methods. But you are right, him/her
giving an opinion should be expected. I usually recommend what I think
is best for a patient but I can not force a patient to accept it, as long as a
patient has been educted the decision is theirs. Because of increased
insurance coverage my hospital no longer allows VBAC's. Once a c-sxn
always a c-sxn. As for letting labor progress and seeing how it goes may
be okay, but there is always the slight chance of uterine rupture/dihiscence
that can be catastrophic to the mother and/or the baby. As long as you two
understand the risks and benefits and are comfortable with them the
decision is ultimately yours. Good luck.
 
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