Road Bike, Cycling Forums banner
1 - 20 of 51 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,762 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not Facebook but
Found out my old live-in girl friend was pregnant last year. Asked my wife of 9 years if I could call her to give my congrats. Wife said no worries.
We now talk on the phone (not often) and exchange emails of children. All is good. Her husband is nice as well.
I also have to mention that I am in Alabama and she is in Oregon. Might have something to do with it.
 

·
eminence grease
Joined
·
18,538 Posts
There was a funny line in some article I was reading in the New Yorker the other night. Something along the line of "I'm sitting here reading Proust while my wife is on Facebook looking for ex's to be friends with."

It's a continuing affirmation of Terry B's Ace in the Hole Theory. Sometimes people don't get completely over their ex and in the back of their little pea brain they've stored them away just in case they need to be looking for someone down the road.

Wasn't there a Doobie Brothers song about this?

There certainly was a Joe Brooks movie about it.

If Ever I See You Again (1978)
Plot:
Call someone you loved and lost a long time ago and ask them to see a movie. Maybe it's not too late.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,615 Posts
Got a friend request from my first serious (We were live-in's for two years) boyfriend.

Haven't seen him in over twenty years.

I said, "dude, shouldn't you run this by your wife and 80 kids, before contacting ex-gf's?"

I know he means no harm, he was one of the best and finest persons I've ever, ever known. But still... wouldn't any of you feel a bit put off by your spouse looking up old girl or boyfriends, especially if they were quite serious at one point?

Told him to run it by the wife and if she was OK with it then I'd be happy to add him on the friends list.

Funny. He's now a dead ringer for my 11th grade English teacher.
 

·
Low rep power
Joined
·
6,264 Posts
terry b said:
It's a continuing affirmation of Terry B's Ace in the Hole Theory. Sometimes people don't get completely over their ex and in the back of their little pea brain they've stored them away just in case they need to be looking for someone down the road.
Yep. A friend's brother and his long-ago ex connected a while back on facebook, and now they're getting married. Of course, he had to get out of his existing marriage first..... :rolleyes:
 

·
Captain Obvious
Joined
·
11,876 Posts
my wife is friends with one of her ex's on fb. he's a d'bag. i've met him before when she and i started dating. she didn't ask for my approval. if she needed it, then i'd be the bigger d'bag.

it's not like they are going to run away with each other.
 

·
Shirtcocker
Joined
·
60,639 Posts
OldEndicottHiway said:
Got a friend request from my first serious (We were live-in's for two years) boyfriend.

Haven't seen him in over twenty years.

I said, "dude, shouldn't you run this by your wife and 80 kids, before contacting ex-gf's?"

I know he means no harm, he was one of the best and finest persons I've ever, ever known. But still... wouldn't any of you feel a bit put off by your spouse looking up old girl or boyfriends, especially if they were quite serious at one point?

Told him to run it by the wife and if she was OK with it then I'd be happy to add him on the friends list.

Funny. He's now a dead ringer for my 11th grade English teacher.
Had the same thing happen--she's been married for 13 years and has a kid. Told my wife about it. She had no problem with it. My wife has a couple of old boyfriends on her friends list also.
 

·
Captain Obvious
Joined
·
11,876 Posts
catzilla said:
Have you sent him illicit pictures of your piercings yet? You should. It's all the FB rage.
BAM, GUT!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,615 Posts
Bocephus Jones II said:
Had the same thing happen--she's been married for 13 years and has a kid. Told my wife about it. She had no problem with it. My wife has a couple of old boyfriends on her friends list also.

That's cool.

I think it's a respect issue. Me, respecting his wife and kids and marriage, and him doing the same.

Like you say if everyone's OK with it then fine.



CAT! :) I have no illicit piercings.

The one in my nose about killed me. OUCH. It's gone now.
 

·
Shirtcocker
Joined
·
60,639 Posts
OldEndicottHiway said:
That's cool.

I think it's a respect issue. Me, respecting his wife and kids and marriage, and him doing the same.

Like you say if everyone's OK with it then fine.



CAT! :) I have no illicit piercings.

The one in my nose about killed me. OUCH. It's gone now.
I have to admit that I did feel kinda weird telling my wife about it, but I figured if there was nothing wrong with it I should tell her--better than she find out through some other means and think there's something fishy going on. It didn't help that the old GF was still pretty hawt looking. :)
 

·
Grey Manrod
Joined
·
9,227 Posts
Hell, I feel weird explaining to my wife who half of you people are. "Who's this Uzzair....?"

"Uh, someone I kind of don't know from the internet? He likes lolcats.....and stuff."
 

·
Windrider (Stubborn)
Joined
·
22,021 Posts
You did the right thing....transparancy.

I had someone reach out who I broke up with after a multi year relationship, because they were a mite possessive. I calmly ignored the request.

Len
 

·
Gruntled
Joined
·
3,737 Posts
OldEndicottHiway said:
Funny. He's now a dead ringer for my 11th grade English teacher.
Wow ... I couldn't tell you who my 11th grade English teacher was, let alone what he / she looked like.
 

·
Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
Joined
·
27,035 Posts
I've had some old friends crawl out of the woodwork, but not girlfriends. Still, not sure how I feel about it. Sometimes I've stopped talking to people for a reason.
 
G

·
I would actually be seriously questioning anyone that crawled out of the woodwork 20 years later.

"Wake up, grow up and get on with your life." would be my thought.
 

·
Sticky Valentine
Joined
·
28,404 Posts
Hit it?


joe
 

·
Gronk SMASH!
Joined
·
1,973 Posts
OldEndicottHiway said:
Got a friend request from my first serious (We were live-in's for two years) boyfriend.

Haven't seen him in over twenty years.

I said, "dude, shouldn't you run this by your wife and 80 kids, before contacting ex-gf's?"

I know he means no harm, he was one of the best and finest persons I've ever, ever known. But still... wouldn't any of you feel a bit put off by your spouse looking up old girl or boyfriends, especially if they were quite serious at one point?

Told him to run it by the wife and if she was OK with it then I'd be happy to add him on the friends list.

Funny. He's now a dead ringer for my 11th grade English teacher.
My radar is telling me that you have a problem with it or you wouldn't even be bringing it up. I'd say for your own good you should let it drop, no matter what his wife thinks, for your own benefit.

Just my $0.02
 

·
Seat's not level
Joined
·
19,372 Posts
Heck, a few years ago, I had an old flame get ahold of me. After a phone call and a few emails, my wife and I went over to her place for dinner. My wife was cool about the whole thing.

I have another friend that married one of my ex's. We see them every so often. No biggie.

I also have yet another ex that sits behind us at the college football games.

My wife knows them all and has met a few more. I don't think she's worried a bit.
 
1 - 20 of 51 Posts
Top