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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
the kiddo's been having lots of colds and already has been on two sepearte antibiotics this year (one for a ear infection, one for bronchitis), so we think it might be allergy related (my gift to the kiddo) or tonsil related (wife's gift: had hers out at 18 months due to consistent sickness- healthy after).

our current pediatrician just isnt the best doc, so we decided to try out a new one, reccomended to us by a family member.

wife takes the kiddo in today and the new doc (highly reccomended) has zero bedside manner and to top it off, says, very non-chalantly, that she wants my kid back in three weeks for a behavioral study as she might be autistic. now, the wife is nearly in tears and the doc just doesnt seem to give a flying f.

thanks. appreciate it. why are you a pediatrician again?

now, we've watched for signs of autism (not sure why- i don't think that we have the genetic predisposition) and the only symptom she has is a lack of words at 20 months old. she says a few small words, and tries to have a total conversation with you. She interacts socially very well with adults, any of the kids on the swim team (5-17 years) and her own age group @ Gymboree. also, she sure as heck doesnt organize.

since finding this out from the wife 2 hours ago i've been doing nothing but research about autism, and still i can only come up with the one symptom- she doesnt even have any of the "other symptoms" as described by wiki.

one better is that due to all the ailments, we have to pay 33% of every visit as we've visited the doc's too many times for our insurance this year.

2009 can just go to hell for all i care.
 

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Fat'r + Slow'r than TMB
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10,083 Posts
First off, deep breath. Second, who says you can't get a 3rd pediatrician? Parents need to have someone they can trust with the kiddos. Talk to the person that recommended this PEDS to you, perhaps they were having a bad day, we all do. As for the Autism, as with everything the sooner they diagnose it the better off you are from the stand point of therapy. She might be completely fine but maybe at the next appointment both you and your wife should go, 2 heads are better than one. Also do a little more research than WIKI, lots of info on Autism out there today and write down questions as to why they think she MIGHT be autistic and what type of testing is involved.
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
jupiterrn said:
First off, deep breath. Second, who says you can't get a 3rd pediatrician? Parents need to have someone they can trust with the kiddos. Talk to the person that recommended this PEDS to you, perhaps they were having a bad day, we all do. As for the Autism, as with everything the sooner they diagnose it the better off you are from the stand point of therapy. She might be completely fine but maybe at the next appointment both you and your wife should go, 2 heads are better than one. Also do a little more research than WIKI, lots of info on Autism out there today and write down questions as to why they think she MIGHT be autistic and what type of testing is involved.

i did hit a few more than just wiki, including a few fact sheets as well as one of the med agencies that deals w/ autism (NIND).

also, we havent found a ped yet that we like or that the kiddo seems to connect with. a third ped. is currently in the works. the first one is a sister of a very good friend- they're almost always too busy, and the second was today.

the testing is why the doc wants her back in a few weeks.
 

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waterproof*
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41,611 Posts
Doc's hate competition or the thought of being second-guessed. Don't we all?

Customers, OTOH... uh oh...
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
it's just really pi$$ing me off because we've constantly been told that our kiddo is more advanced than every other kid in her age group, by several people- doctors included. 110th percentile on height, crawling early voclaization early, eating with utensils early, eating well, and on and on
 

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"El Bwana"
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4,399 Posts
My son didn't start talking until around 24 months. My Ped was not concerned for two reasons: 1) He had a big sister that did all the talking for him, and 2) the doc said the kid just didn't damn feel like it. At 10 y.o he is fine.
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
PDex said:
My son didn't start talking until around 24 months. My Ped was not concerned for two reasons: 1) He had a big sister that did all the talking for him, and 2) the doc said the kid just didn't damn feel like it. At 10 y.o he is fine.

my best friend's first grommet didnt talk until almost 2 as well, and he's also now fine. they weren't worried either.

im still fuming.
 

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I have a son with Autism.

Some signs to look for:

1. Does she respond to her when you call her name.
2. Does she tend to "zone out"
3. Does she do repetitive things - opening/closing doors; turning lights on/off, etc.
4. Does she point to things that she wants - or just go get them?
5. Does she do "pretend play" - feeding dolls, etc.

I could go on and on.

If there is concern, you should see a DEVELOPMENTAL pediatrician. You're "regular" pediatrician can point out the concerns, but testing takes like about 90 minutes to come to a "diagnosis." Hope this helps alleviate your fears. Let me know if you have any other questions. I'll try to check back in later tonight.
 

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Could it be hearing related?

My son didn't start talking until he was 3.5. He had some hearing problems that contributed to the delayed speech. The hearing issues were due to fluid accumulation behind the ear drums resulting from allergies. The Ped. put in tubes about a year ago to relieve the fluid build up.

At 5 years old he's not quite up to speed with his peers speech-wise but he's fine in every other measure. I'm not concerned about his late speech as he's bright and will catch up. My mom claims I didn't start to speak until I was four. I had a lot of ear infections, tubes, etc., when I was little so I suppose it runs in the family.

These things tend to even out as kids get older.
 

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Nothing wrong with a third opinion.

Sounds like you've done your homework and if kiddo has no other issues or oddities such as "zoning out" as orthodoc suggests, I myself suggest to take the second doc's words in stride. Nothing wrong with being tested. Autism "seems" to be at the forefront these days so a lot of med professionals have it at the front of their minds.

Like Jupiter says, deep breath...
 

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BTW, I realized I should clarify:

#4 and 5 above - pointing and pretend play are good things (those with autism don't usually do these things)
 

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Large Suburban Male
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2cflyr said:
i did hit a few more than just wiki, including a few fact sheets as well as one of the med agencies that deals w/ autism (NIND).

also, we havent found a ped yet that we like or that the kiddo seems to connect with. a third ped. is currently in the works. the first one is a sister of a very good friend- they're almost always too busy, and the second was today.

the testing is why the doc wants her back in a few weeks.
Why are you trying to find a Ped that the kid connects with? It helps to calm the kid, but they're not the one making the decisions. You need to find a doc that YOU connect with, and that is good with kids. One that can not only make the kid comfortable, but one that can tell you WTF is going on. The priority of a Ped is to find out what is going on, and then to be able to tell the parents.

Our Ped is kind of a lecturer to the parents, but is awesome with the kids (now 10 and 8), and we've been with her for 9 years. I don't like her personally, but I think she's a great doctor.

Connection with the kid is very important, but you need to find a doc who can diagnose the kid first, and then connect. The first connection should be with the parents, not the child.
 

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Banned
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No criticism intended here, but we went through a similar thing years ago (son diagnosed with leukemia at 2), and I remember the shock and horror like it was Tuesday. Our pediatrician told us that about half the parents of kids she diagnosed with serious conditions left and never came back. Presumably they found other docs. But the moral of the story is, don't let your distaste for the diagnosis or your desire to avoid dealing with the potential problem influence your decisions. Nothing wrong with getting a third opinion, but if you find yourself hating another doc or looking for a fourth or fifth pediatrician, it may be time to step back and think things over. With luck there's nothing wrong, but if there is, there's nothing to be gained by stalling.
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
my son was generally slow at talking. he picked up a lot more once we sent him to a pre-school part time. he'll be 3 in july and is becoming quite the chatty little guy.

try not to worry too much about a doc who has never seen your child before. do your research so you have an idea what sort of questions to ask.

best of luck.
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #16 · (Edited)
Orthodoc said:
I have a son with Autism.

Some signs to look for:

1. Does she respond to her when you call her name.
2. Does she tend to "zone out"
3. Does she do repetitive things - opening/closing doors; turning lights on/off, etc.
4. Does she point to things that she wants - or just go get them?
5. Does she do "pretend play" - feeding dolls, etc.

I could go on and on.

If there is concern, you should see a DEVELOPMENTAL pediatrician. You're "regular" pediatrician can point out the concerns, but testing takes like about 90 minutes to come to a "diagnosis." Hope this helps alleviate your fears. Let me know if you have any other questions. I'll try to check back in later tonight.
1- yes
2 no
3 very rarely- we have one on-line light switch that she sometimes plays with while sitting on the couch- other than that, she doesn't "b-line" it for the switch every day, and mostly ignores it while sitting on the couch.
4- just goes and gets them. in fact, she just seems to want whatever you've got. //if she's strapped into a highchair or car seat, she will point at what she wants.
5 not that I've seen.

//she really isn't a doll kid- more of a stuffed animal kind of kid.
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
murbike said:
Why are you trying to find a Ped that the kid connects with? It helps to calm the kid, but they're not the one making the decisions. You need to find a doc that YOU connect with, and that is good with kids. One that can not only make the kid comfortable, but one that can tell you WTF is going on. The priority of a Ped is to find out what is going on, and then to be able to tell the parents.

Our Ped is kind of a lecturer to the parents, but is awesome with the kids (now 10 and 8), and we've been with her for 9 years. I don't like her personally, but I think she's a great doctor.

Connection with the kid is very important, but you need to find a doc who can diagnose the kid first, and then connect. The first connection should be with the parents, not the child.
well, I'm going to the next one we visit. i didnt connect with the first doc, even though a fam friend. the second doc is our GP, who I get along extremely well with (aside from my cholesterol and weight issues) and the third doc was yesterday while I was at work. so, hopefully the next one will be better. that and I'll be able to judge for myself.
 

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Lemur-ing
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I would be so pizzed at the doc that I'd have yelled at that s.o.b. or at least, talk to him in no uncertain terms that he's being an a*hole.

I'm sure the kiddo is fine honestly because some kids do end up talking a little slower, or walking a little slower etc. Best of luck nonetheless.

I know I took a long time to walk but I kinda made up for it by starting to talk decently at 10 months old.

Here's echoing for a 3rd opinion (or however many it takes till you find a good doctor and person) and also hoping for the best.
 

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midnight melon mounter
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6,621 Posts
Valid or not, that news is a spear through the heart and your doctor shouldn't have given it so callously. Good luck to you and good vibes to your little gal.
 

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Mehpic
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Alex-in-Evanston said:
Valid or not, that news is a spear through the heart and your doctor shouldn't have given it so callously. Good luck to you and good vibes to your little gal.
callous is a good way of putting it.

the person that reccomended this doc to us is now rather humble.

thanks.
 
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