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Gas emissions/vehicle correlation

  • I let em rip, my underpants are butt a safety net

    Votes: 3 37.5%
  • I’m a ninja, silent but deadly

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I only toot in publicly sanctioned toot zones (usually smokers can be found here)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I like patchouli

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Hybrid

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sedan, coupe

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Hatch/wagon

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Truck/SUV

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Public T

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I only ride bicycles and my farts are skittle flavored rainbows.

    Votes: 2 25.0%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it ok to talk about farts here? :blush2: In particular their correlation to cars driven by said smelly offenders…

I am forced to come to you with this question as I don’t know hwere else to turn with such a pressing issue. Higher learning has let me down, and my buddy at a car service center is biased beyond reason against a certain type of vehicle when it comes to this gassy topic.

Here is what prompts my query…

So there is this lady I see every now and then and we engage in polite conversation from time to time, until it is rudely interrupted by the very same lady. I have noticed her pass wind in my presence a few times now. I am talking full on indiscriminate laying waste to her underpants type of emanations. Without so much as a by your leave or mi scusi and and and without breaking eye contact! I am too polite to say stop farting you crazy wing bat hybrid vehicle driver, so we just smirk it off and I say something like “it happens to the best of us”. Now I just stand far away, exchange verbal pleasantries and quickly scurry away. Which got me thinking why does she allow herself such rudeness? Is it a lack culture, IBS or bad manners? I come from a culture where passing wind out of either end is immediately punishable by a swift smack to the head with the closest heavy object, usually an intricately painted wooden spoon or frying pan. As a result I can duck real good. So this is a complete anathema to me, beyond any comprehension. My learning at the hands of two masters of culture Professor Trey Parker and Professor Matt Stone has lead me to consider the following as a possible explanation…Is it because she feels her driving a hybrid vehicle offsets her own gaseous emissions?

For those who attend the South Park Shcool of Higher Derping you might already be familiar with the two leading conjectures on Fartology. However for those that are not, allow me to illuminate your path to knowledge….

There are two dominating thesises regarding the voluntary passing of wind.

The first is called the “holding farts in causes spontaneous combustion, so let em rip” theory? Most eloquently described in the Spontaneous combustion episode.

The second is theory of “enjoying ones own brand” as it were. Almost always directly associated (according to South Park Shcool of Higher Derping) with owning a hybrid vehicle and leaving ones home town headin out Californee way. Most eloquently demonstrated in the Smug Alert episode.

Now I am really puzzled as this theory leaves out the most notorious farters ever known to cycling kind… Coal rolling truck drivers. Moreover how about the public T folks? Having taken my fair share of public T in my life I can say for certain they can fart up a storm sumthin fierce, and in unison!

So I am left scratching my head, is there a direct correlation between the kind of vehicle you take to work, the amount of gaseous emissions you put out, hwether or not you enjoy doing so and most importantly if you do so publicly? I would very much appreciate you taking my poll check all that may apply. But only one fart option please, either you do or you don’t, choose a side gosh darn it!

Thank you for your time, beans are good, in moderation, on Friday, after work, when alone.:ciappa:
 

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She's probably on a forum somewhere posting about how she blasts the bugle at this guy every time she sees him and he keeps coming back for more. Her poll probably has a lot of questions about kinks and fetishes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
She's probably on a forum somewhere posting about how she blasts the bugle at this guy every time she sees him and he keeps coming back for more. Her poll probably has a lot of questions about kinks and fetishes.
Eewww I don’t seek her out, she finds me man. Though you might have a point it’s a kinky dominance thing, she has finally found some happiness and power (however meager it may be) in her lack luster life. I mean if the height of ones joy in life is to pass wind while excusing it by driving a Prius one can only offer sympathy, some nose plugs and point her Californee way. Demolishing underpants in public while speaking to a polite young feller is probably how she gets her jollies. One can hardly begrudge her some happiness in her life but not when the cost is an affront to my olfactory and auditory systems.

C'mon people get a votin'. this is a theoretical study.
 

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Crusty AF
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I have a 3YO daughter. Farts are funny. Especially in the bath.

She can also give me a good run for my money in terms of potency.

Finally, I read once somewhere that you shouldn't hold your farts in. They travel up your spine to your brain, and that's where $#itty ideas come from.
 

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My car is electric and my farts are shocking but I give my ass full rein only at home in front of my family.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Do you have to let it linger?:2:

 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Bump for more votes please
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Also while I am here, today I came across a rather disturbing bit of information. The San Francisco poop patrols.

https://rinf.com/alt-news/newswire/san-francisco-steps-up-poop-patrols/
https://youtu.be/5QATHFJApFo
https://youtu.be/EXLejflEtcA

There appears to be a public defecation epidemic in this absolutely beautiful city. I have always loved San Francisco, been there a few times and always felt at home I was of that consciousness at the time. It always felt a little European, make of that what you will.

This immediately reminded me of the “Californee way” movement. For those who live in the stunning city of San Francisco is this for real, are there Hershey kisses around every corner? Why?

My curiosity took me a step further, and I called up a friend currently teaching creative whistling at one of the fine universities in San Fran. I asked them the same question and the reply left me dumbfounded… “I too was wondering the same thing and asked a commonly seen pooper why, they said to me “how dare you infringe on my right to do what I want with my body” I sh!t you not”. I was speechless finally regained a will to live and said I wish you well in the struggle my brotha I will always be here for you, keep on whistling and hung the phone in slow mo.
 

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San Francisco has a very visible drug/homeless population. Even for a NYC resident, it's shocking.

Maybe it's b/c NYC is more aggressive with the gentrification/sanitation? San Fran's culture remains more bohemian, so there's no forced-removal of the characters and low rents that enable art and/or craziness to flourish? Dunno.

In NYC, public pooping wouldn't be unheard of in a Chinatown area, where the older generation was constantly in survival mode in the homeland, and taught that immediate needs (for the boys, anyway!) were to be taken care of ASAP, so no waiting or searching for a toilet. San Fran has lots of Chinese immigrants, but are they also homeless/drug addicts??

Aren't there public toilets? Or could it be a new form of drugs causing this behavior? I've only once seen a homeless person defecating in public, while I was riding up the Queensboro Bridge.
 

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Kindly little old lady patient: Doctor, I pass a lot of gas in public. But it's really not a big problem. It doesn't smell at all, and it's always very quiet.

Doctor: Hmmm. Just the same, I want you to try this prescription.

2 weeks later:

KLOLOP: Doctor, your prescription made everything worse! My farts smell terrible now.

Doctor: OK, now that we've fixed your nose, let's work on your ears.
 

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Everyone farts. My father-in-law is the worst... loud, long and often stinky. And the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. My wife can rip some zingers. Sometimes they can be quite silent and the only way I can tell (before the smell reaches me) is that the cats sitting next to her on the couch suddenly get up and act like they are in the middle of an earth quake as they shakily try to find their way off the couch onto solid ground.

I have a sister-in-law that claims she does not fart at all. I dunno, maybe she hold it in until she can find a bathroom. Although my brother-in-law (who is not ashamed to let one loose), says it was years after they were married before he finally caught her letting one loose under the bed covers when she though he was asleep.

It's a perfectly natural bodily function and an indication that your digestive tract is in working order. Flatulent discharge can be influenced by diet, but I don't think it can be prevented (I was going to eliminated, which would have been a poor choice of words).

We start doing it as babies and it continues until we breath out last breath.


EDIT: Sister in law that claims not to fart, drives one of those VW deisels that puts out way too much emissions.
 
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