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Bike Wing Conspiracy
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Mine:

Went out on a ride this past Saturday. Finally a good day for a ride here in NYC. I hit the Belt Parkway on my way out across the bridge to Kennedy.

I hit some glass on the Belt. I fix the flat. 2 miles later I get another flat. Didnat have a tube and the patches would not fix it.

Considered calling the wife but is was 7 in the morning and the kids were off school.

I hoofed it back 5 or so miles in bike shoes to Brighton Beach and hopped the subway home.

Got home around 11. Put new tube in tire. Went to get something to eat and then the tire blew again. That is when I realized there was a slice in the sidewall. Replaced again, put dollar bill in and it has held up.

What a wasted ride.
 

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Escorted from the White House
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Once, back in the early '90s, made a mistake of riding with only a CO2 inflator and a couple of cartridges, no frame pump. Got a flat, and the CO2 inflator borked on me, wasting both cartridges. So, I was stuck.

This being pre-cellphones for nearly all of us, I hoofed it on over to a nearby, isolated house (this was out in the boondocks). Rang the doorbell, was greeted at the door by an angry-looking lady with a shotgun pointed at my chest.

She quickly calmed down once she saw my cycling clothing. Turns out she worked at some sort of state prison mental facility, and was a bit paranoid about ex-inmates or their friends doing dire things to her, or somesuch. She apologized profusely, and let me call someone to pick me up.

Was about the only time I ever got stuck out on the road, but it was memorable.
 

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Cycling down a busy street without a helmet. A pizza delivery guy wants to turn right into his pizza place about a mile ahead. Rather than get behind me and wait, or pass me safely, he gets into the center lane, passes by me and swerves into my lane and hits the brakes fast. I slam my face into the back window of his car, blowing out the window. I'm going 40kmh at the time and my hands never left the handlebars. My head just dips into the rear of his car and back out and I fall onto his bumper. My front wheel was folded in half, otherwise no damage. I got an ambulance ride to the hospital where they put 8 stitches in my nose and I left. Got really lucky. Then I sued the guy and won $12k in damages even though I hit him from behind. Luckily there were witnesses that saw the entire incident and gave testimony.
 

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My worst ride ever was when I hopped on my junk station bike to ride to college from the train station at around 8am. I went maybe 20ft when my left foot hooked the plastic bag I had slung over the handlebar. I went over the bars, slid across the parking lot and hit the curb with my teeth.

I saw one tooth that had fallen out and put it back (I'd read somewhere that this could save the tooth) but I couldn't even close my mouth. Someone called an ambulance and they took me to the local hospital, where a doctor said they would take my four upper front teeth out asap. Now, I had just had braces taken off six weeks earlier, so I thought maybe I should get a second opinion.

I left the hospital, walked back to the station, took a train home and called my mother (pre cellphone days) who took me to the dentist. So I get to the dentist at around 11am and he takes one look and says "No time for anesthetic, I have to sew him up now!" Oh joy. So he sews the teeth back in place and I go home.

Two hours later I realize I probably have a broken wrist, so off to the ER we go. 8:30pm I leave the hospital with a cast.

A few weeks later I got a cap and a crown to fix my teeth. The one I popped back in at the station never had a problem since.

That was in 1982 and is the last time I fell off a bike.
 

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Get me to In&Out
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November 24, 2012. Faceplanted a tree at 25mph on a tight single track in the last .5 miles of a 3 1/2 hour trail ride. Fell down the mountain about 50 feet. Resulted in jaw dislocated and broken in two places and broken radius and ulna. Still had to ride out of the trail to the car and drive an hour to the ER. Have since healed, but am still fighting the trend to be overly cautious.
 

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That is a horrific story.

How are your teeth today?

Can you even tell they were knocked out?
The crown lasted until 1993, and was eventually replaced with an implant. The capped one held up fine. You'd never know the teeth were knocked out, but they sure don't look as good as they did right after the braces came off :)

I went to the dentist a few weeks ago for the first time in years, and he said my teeth looked great. I'm there was an unspoken "for your age" qualifier in there, but I was happy with that.
 

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Proud luddite
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It was on January 8, 2011....I was finishing up a ride north of Tucson that had already pissed me off (encountered rude joggers on the bike path, a couple rude motorists, it just pissed me off), when I was hit by a car as I was turning into our neighborhood. Ended up with a fractured clavicle, some hairline fractures of the pelvic girdle, and some road rash. But man, I have never ever been in that kind of pain before. Truly my worst ride ever.

But something else happened in Tucson that day about an hour after I was hit by the car, the mass shooting by Jared Loughner including our congresswoman Gabby Giffords. The shooting victims who survived were transported to the same hospital where I was and the whole place was just insane....police everywhere, military guys everywhere, a media zoo outside. That put things into perspective for me....I had some relatively minor injuries that would heal in a matter of weeks, but those shooting victims were fighting for their lives (and of course Gabby Giffords suffered severe and permanent brain damage). So while that ride was my worst ever, in the grand scheme of things it was just a bad ride and I'm fortunate that I bounced back just as healthy as before.
 

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Leaving work one day, I planned to ride to the bike shop to pick up some spokes for a wheel I was building. In the parking lot was a tractor trailer waiting to pull out. I started doing a trackstand but my foot caught my fender and broke it. It was rideable, but needed replacing.

So the tractor trailer is gone and off I go. A few miles down the road I break a spoke on my rear wheel. I didn't carry a multi-tool then and opening up the quick release wasn't enough; the wobbly rim was rubbing something on every revolution and driving me nuts. I decide to bag the ride to the bike shop and turn toward home.

The broken fender, the rubbing rim; it was just a bad day and I was a little despondent, not to mention about 10 miles out. Not watching the road and just hanging my head down sort of wallowing in my own self-pity, I look up and see a snake crossing the road, RIGHT IN MY PATH! Too late to swerve, I could only imagine the snake getting wrapped in my wheel causing a crash then biting me and fleeing.

Instead, I ran over the snake and nothing happened. At this point, I prayed that, as I would pass a cycling friend's house, that he would be home to give me a ride and save me from further peril. He was not. Instead, I'm riding up the street as he's driving his car the other direction. I flagged him down, begged for mercy and he saved me from further adventures that day.
 

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Riding the 12 miles home from work, the only day I have ever ridden to work I hit some wet railroad tracks. i swear the tracks actually contorted in a way to grab my rear wheel in just the right way! Down I went. I broke the fall with my right hand and slid along the pavement. So I sit there for several seconds then get up and try to utilize my right arm. No luck there! Here's a new kind of pain I haven't sampled yet. Broken radius and roadrash on my head, right leg and right shoulder. I Couldn't ride for months because my right arm hurt so much to get out of the saddle.
 

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July 5th, about 1983 or so...early AM ride, I was in a huge decent on a country road..Came around a turn to fast, road pitched me to the outside...hit the soft dirt shoulder, pitched me off the front of the bike (no helmet) rolled down a hill, thought a barbwire fence, splitting my head open. Walked back up to the bike on the side of the road...put the chain back on and rode about 10 miles to the nearest house and asked them to call an ambulance..to this date I have not made ONE ride without a helmet.
 
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