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Apa kabar?
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Discussion Starter #1
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!
 

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Eventually you are going to die and all that will be left is if and how you are going to be remembered. My worst nightmere is of my kids standing around my coffin and talking about "how sensible" dad was. I feel an obligation to leave them a little more interesting legacy than that. Buy the bike!
 

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Banned
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"Doesn't cost any more than... (insert activity)."

Did this with sports cars for years, though it worked better for cars back before you needed a six-figure income to race. My GF, sometime fiancee, at the time was a skier, and she'd spend hundreds of dollars on boards to strap to her feet, then b***h at me for spending hundreds of dollars for tires or shock absorbers or whatever. Variations of "How come it's all right for you to spend $400 for new boots when you already HAVE boots, but I can't spend $400 for tires when mine are worn out?" held her off for awhile.
Also:
"It's an investment in my health. Lack of exercise is the biggest killer in the United States."
"I may live longer because I'm active, and I want to spend as much time as I can with you" (how you reconcile this with a six-hour Saturday ride is your problem).
"Look, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't cheat on you--if I have to have a bad habit, isn't this a pretty good one?"
I married somebody else, thank God, and we're coming up on 32 years. But I still have a little trouble explaining why I need, say, a $3000 bike instead of the $2000 bike I swore was the last bike I'd ever need.
 

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Back from the dead
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B-Fun said:
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!
Who needs a one liner? Just go buy it if you want it. You aren't married yet. If you'll ride it a lot, that's all the justification you need.

On the other hand, have you figured out how to pay for the wedding yet? If you don't have that figured out, don't buy the bike.
 

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Spicy Dumpling
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B-Fun said:
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!

A bike is good for my health. An expensive bike is less than a cheap triple bypass!

Of course my wife buys as much bike stuff as I do;)
 

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Zeppelin/Ultegra Rider
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930 Posts
B-Fun said:
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!
An expensive bike can't really be "justified." It's more of a lust thing, and she ought to be happy you are lusting after bikes and not the neighbor!
 

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Shirtcocker
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60,639 Posts
B-Fun said:
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!
What the F is it with all these bike-related threads in NCD today? Hoo falling down on the job?!! Bad Poast!!!
 

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duh...
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9,658 Posts
B-Fun said:
Just looking for some good one-liners I can use on my fiance to justify buying an expensive bike. "....pretty please..." just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. :) Humor is greatly appreciated...Thanks!

"it's cheaper than your gawddam diamond!"
 

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Moderatus Puisne
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Just a picture of an "average" american, 5'10", 275 lbs, with a case of Coors light and an XXXL football team t-shirt.

"Priceless."
 

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You didn't give us all that much information. What you consider an "expensive bike" and your financial condition. That said previous posters gave some good reasons, mostly health for getting the bike. I'm going to give you another. Assuming the bike isn't ridiciouslly expensive and you totally broke I would say go for it. A bike is a reasonable item that is good for your health and should last a long time. (probably longer than many marrages) You need to establish your right to make purchases without having to get your future wife's approval. If you need to get her approval now to purchase something than think how difficult it will be later. Nothing wrong with letting her know what you want to do but I would present it as "I am getting this bike" rather than "dear can I get this bike" Again if you are thinking about a $7000 bike and you currently can't pay your bills than maybe you need her advise.
 

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Squirrel Hunter
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Prenuptial...

...don't get married without it.

PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT FOR THE BIKER
This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is an arrangement that accepts the perpetual continuity of pre-existing relationship between the first two parties and that a three-way coexistence shall be created consisting of the following participants:
Spouse A (the non biking loved one) hereafter referred to as SA; Spouse B (the biker) hereafter referred to as SB, and; The Bike (the glorious one) hereafter referred to as TB.

Condition I: Acknowledgment SA shall henceforth recognize that SB and TB have forged a long standing and unbreakable relationship and shall never attempt to permanently divide, or otherwise separate the two.

Condition II: Cohabitation SA and SB shall agree upon comfortable and equal living quarters for TB, it's related service equipment and riding gear. TB shall only be exposed to the elements of nature during rides. All other times TB shall have access to warm, dry, low traffic living space. If at any time there should be conflict w/ SA, SB or furniture, TB shall have preference as to where it stays. In SA's absence TB shall be permitted bedroom space (if not already arranged).

Condition III: Exclusivity and Infidelity At no time shall SA, SB, or TB be loaned out to be ridden by anyone outside the three-way relationship. SA must request from SB permission to ride, fondle or otherwise physically contact TB and only do so in the presence of SB.

Condition IV: Equal Time SA shall be guaranteed quality time equivalent to TB unless it conflicts with TB in which case TB gets preference. Service time shall be guaranteed and considered a separate requirement. In the event of emergency, ie SA stranded, child sets hair on fire etc, SB shall complete whatever TB related activity as soon as possible and attend said emergency. In the event of a in-law visit or should for any reason, SB become depressed, or otherwise in need of stress relief, SB shall be permitted as much time w/TB or TB related activities, magazines, books, events etc as needed until such time SB feels better.

Condition V: Parts SA and SB will agree that SB be permitted and encouraged to purchase any and all TB related equipment at any and all times, weather they be repairs, replacements, upgrades, or just plain Chi-Chi. Any replaced parts shall be considered cherished spares and provided appropriate storage space equivalent to that provided for TB, preferably under the bed, favorite closet or on coffee table as a conversation item. New Items immediately installed shall require TB to be put on prominent display (ie in front of TV). Newly purchased items not immediately installed shall be put on display as a centerpiece during the day and they shall be kept under the pillow of SB at bed time, unless it is potentially dangerous to said part. This shall be for no less than 5 days or until they are installed whichever comes first.

Condition VI: Finance All household finance shall be considered separate from TB finance. If conflict should arise then TB gets preference.

Condition VII: Disposition In the event SA has a compatible bike SB can offer spare parts to be temporarily installed for use by SA until such time SB requires their use on TB. No prior notice is required. All equipment and The Bike they are installed upon or intended for, shall remain the property of SB come hell or high water, and shall not be relinquished under any circumstance including death, in which case the surviving party will be obligated to complete the upgrades (expressed, implied or dreamed of)and bury the bike with the departed, unless TB or SB requests a separate grave in which case they shall be buried side by side and SA shall not be buried between them.

Condition VIII: Protected Communications All TB related communications intended for SB, be they voice (phone messages, visitors); print (mail-order catalogues, etc.); or electronic (e-mail, buddies calling to ride, etc.) shall be forwarded and delivered to SB as expediently as possible. Furthermore, no censorship of said communications shall occur, and SA agrees to refrain from making disparaging comments about the content of these communications and/or their source(s).

Extended Conditions: TB shall never be the focus of an argument nor brought up as part of one. TB shall never be discussed w/ in-laws unless said discussion is in praise or defense of TB. No retaliation shall ever be taken against TB.

All of the above is to be considered iron-clad and in stone and non negotiable, unless of course, the nonbiker says so.
 

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Alien Musician
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4,537 Posts
Heh...

I used to be an avid rider many years ago and settled down to a sedentary
desk job.

What got me back into cycling was my wife who bought me a bike as a
surprise about eight years ago. She had no idea that this was much like
waving a red flag in front of a bill.

Four bikes later......

So yeah, it's her fault. The fitness is a by product.

In your case you'll have to come up with a "I'll live longer and be able to
spen more time with you" kind of phrase.
 

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Tell her: "If you don't agree with me buying expensive bikes, which is something I will certainly be doing again in the future, then perhaps we aren't right for eachother. So long."
 

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Plan far in advance

This isn't a one-liner, but it is an effective strategy:

I married my wonderful wife three-plus years ago and I was well into my bike addiction long before she came along. Still, it remained to be seen how she would handle the prospect of a shiny new bike. I started by pointing out to her the various objects of my bike lust, explaining briefly their wonderous virtues. Then I would say, "But it's okay, I don't need a new bike right now. My old bike is still fine."

After three years of this, we found ourselves with a little extra cash after a good business move. I took the opportunity to pointed out to my lovely wife the current object of my affection, a Trek Madone 5.9SL, when to my extreme pleasure she responded with, "So go ahead and get it. You've waited a long time, just get it."

I realize this is the long, slow route to a new bike. But it is effective in that she realized that I lusted after one for many years but exercised self-restraint. When the time was right to get one, she knew it wasn't a compulsive purchase and it didn't take her by surprise.

Now, man, wife and bike are living happily ever after. Although I was guilted into buying her a shiny new treadmill a few weeks ago.
 

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Dude...you ask your fiance if you can buy a bike? Are you doing it with her money or something? If so, don't. If not, nut up!

How about this approach. Agree up front what expenses you are going to pay in this relationship, and what she is going to pay...meaning, whatever bills you have, agree on how you are going to split them. Agree what amount each of you is then going to commit to set aside to savings, toward a house, education, whatever. Stick with your end of the deal and then if you can afford your bike, get it. If not, figure out how you are going to pay for it and make it happen.

But jeez, don't beg dude. You start that pattern now, you are completely and totally screwed.


It's like that Rodney Dangerfield joke about heaven. Right outside the Pearly Gates there are overhead signs marking two waiting lines. One sign reads, "For guys whose wives told them what and how to do everything, and have no idea how to think for themselves." This line is six abreast and stretches out across the heavens until it disappears into the celestial darkness. The other sign reads, "This line is for men who can think for themselves." There is one guy waiting in this line.

So when Saint Peter sees this, he is over-joyed. He goes and gets God and brings him down to see. They both go down to the guy standing there. God says, "My son I really want to shake your hand. In all the years of having this line we hardly ever get anybody who can use it. It is just so refreshing to see a real man who can think for himself for a change."

At this point the guy starts looking down at his shoes and acting all embarrassed. Then he turns and starts to walk off toward the back of the other line. Saint Peter says "Woh, wait a minute there fella. What's the matter?" The guy looks up and says in a beaten down monotone, "Thanks and all for the welcome guys, but the only reason that I was standing in this line was because my wife told me to go get in the short one."
 

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Misfit Toy
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Bocephus Jones II said:
What the F is it with all these bike-related threads in NCD today? Hoo falling down on the job?!! Bad Poast!!!
Um, BoJo to Infinity - are you lost today? We're in General love....... :rolleyes:
 

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The Original and The Best
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If she doesn't understand, then she's not the one. This is how you find the right one.

How To Marry A Bicyclist

It's a tough world out there. I don't have a bike boy to call my own, but a Cat 2 racer did kiss me last week! :eek:
It'll never work though. I can't deal with rock-hard muscles and shaved bodies. Give me flaccid and pilose any day. :D

EDIT: OTOH, maybe that can be your argument in reverse.
 
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