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Banned forever.....or not
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24,415 Posts
66 years old. It's too bad that Hollywood thought that he was too old to star in a certain "unnamed" cowboy movie from last year. He would have been perfect for the part.
 

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Banned forever.....or not
Joined
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24,415 Posts
He really lost the part when he told them that he wanted to rename the movie, "Touch me again like that, and I'll break your back."
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Ps. I have to add that, because I find that my head is stuck in a big C-clamp.
 

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Soon to be banned
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14,475 Posts
whit417 said:
Chuck wasn't born...he was created on the 8th day.
 

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wut?
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14,590 Posts
spyderman said:
Chuck wasn't born...he was created on the 8th day.
Chuck Norris punched through his mother's uterus. When he emerged, the doctor tried to clean him off, but Chuck ran out of the hospital and rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash.
 

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Gronk SMASH!
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1,973 Posts
spyderman said:
Chuck wasn't born...he was created on the 8th day.
God didn't create the universe in 7 days. Chuck Norris created it with 7 roundhouse kicks to God's head.
 

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Not Banned
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49,013 Posts
God is Chuck's B!tch

God does what Chuck says.

On the First Day Chuck said "God,let there be light so ya'll can see how good I look whuppin' yo' behind"
 

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Not Banned
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49,013 Posts
coming from a guy

who does a 'punched through his mother's uterus' I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

on the second day Chuck said "Let there be water, cause I'm workin' up a mean thirst whuppin' yo behind'

I don't fear God as I know who's really calling the shots.

I gotta say 7 roundhouse kicks to God's head is pretty much the pinnacle
 

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Scary Teddy Bear
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14,791 Posts
ummm

atpjunkie said:
who does a 'punched through his mother's uterus' I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

on the second day Chuck said "Let there be water, cause I'm workin' up a mean thirst whuppin' yo behind'

I don't fear God as I know who's really calling the shots.

I gotta say 7 roundhouse kicks to God's head is pretty much the pinnacle

Chuck Norris is like 90 years old, he's so old, that his doctor has given him a lifetime prescription of ******. He's so old, he's wetting his bed every night....Chuck Norris is so old, that Bob Hope used to call him his older brother....He's getting so old, when confronted with a beautiful young lady, he asks her about his grandkids....He's starting to get a senile tremor you know....
 

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Opus was just napping
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21,358 Posts
This is the whitest...lamest, chuck norris meets the dozens I have ever read.
 

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Misfit Toy
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23,426 Posts
gawd, he's older than me!


**runs and hides behind Jack Bauer**:D
 
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