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· passive/aggressive
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236 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Here's is to you Mrs. Don't-know-how-to-function-at-a-stoplight lady you wave me through when it is your turn to go and make me super cautious at all stop signs because I am sure you have siblings and children.

Here's to you Mrs. Electric-car-I-am-saving the environment lady. Your car scares the **** out of me as you approach from behind. I never hear you but at least you are doing your thing and your car is so slow I always catch you at the next intersection.

Here's to you Mr. Stuff-falls-out-of-your-truck-and-not-stop-and-pick-it-up guy you create all sorts of danger for me as cars avoiding your casually discarded detritus swerve into my lane to avoid it.

Here's to you Mr. Landscaper-and-your-2-stroke-leaf-blower-blowing-everything-from-the-landscape-onto-the-bike-lane guy. Without you I could let my attention wander and not worry about that broken bottle you blew in my way. I could avoid the sticks and rocks and gravel and dust. I could pass by you without holding my breath, closing my eyes and turning my head so as not to get assaulted by your barrage of things your client feels should be placed into the right of way instead of a garbage can.

Here's to you Mr and Mrs. Mini-van-driving-1-mile-to-ensure-your-precious-snowflake-needn't-be-burdened-with-walking-to-school. Without you I would not have the wonderful 2 minute wait in front of my home nor the near misses so that your snowflake can get their 1000 calorie frozen drink at fourbucks. Without you minivans would sit unsold on the lots and kids would be skinnier and more self reliant.

Finally here's to you Mr. Jaded-bicycle-commuter guy. Without you people wouldn't have to see you flip them off as they rush to turn right in front of you, nor would they be burdened by you throwing your fitness and all around superiority as a cyclist in their faces, nor would they have to wait to turn right because they are unsure of the width of their car. Without you the streets would be a much saner and happier place.
 

· Big is relative
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11,901 Posts
shawndoggy said:
Minivans are actually rawkin' bike transport vehicles.
If I'm lucky on my morning commute, I will be behind one leaving a light. They rock for drafting up to speed. Much safer than beer trucks because I can see past them.

I had a multi-tasker turn right about ten feet in front of me on Monday. I heard her accelerate and then pass me while squealing her tires to make the turn. She was going so fast into the turn that she was on the shoulder of the on-coming lane coming out of the turn. On the phone as well.
 

· passive/aggressive
Joined
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236 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
dir-t said:
I don't get this part but liked the rest of it.
in Tucson many bike lanes split at the intersections to be a bike lane/right turn lane. You roll up to the light and unclip only to have a car that wants to make a right turn pull behind you. I keep to the far left allowing plenty of room between me and the curb but they can't perceive the width of the their car adequately so they sit there afraid to turn because they might clip you. Oblivious they sit cars behind them honking. I usually feel really bad because there is ample room but my fat ass must give the illusion that there isn't. Bad for my self esteem.
 

· Hermia commutes
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1,496 Posts
I rolled up to a four-way stop today (mountain and glenn) and couldn't figure out why the little suv to my right was lagging way behind me. I thought maybe the driver wanted to turn right and hadn't thought of it in time. After I went through the intersection there was a noticeable gap, and then the little suv appeared behind me, and then started sharing my bike lane. Driver was text messaging. It took her several blocks to realize that she was driving with the bike lane stripe directly between the tires of her cute little vehicle and I doubt she ever noticed me, even though I was directly in front of her....

So let's not forget Ms. I Can Totally Send a Text Message and Drive at the Same Time. She might be my favorite.
 

· Registered
Joined
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289 Posts
rockcrusher said:
Here's is to you Mrs. Don't-know-how-to-function-at-a-stoplight lady you wave me through when it is your turn to go and make me super cautious at all stop signs because I am sure you have siblings and children.
Aaah, that is my biggest pet peeve! Some people around here freeze up when they see a bicycle and feel like they need to yield right of way at all times: lights, stop signs, left-turn lanes... I have even been waiting at a red light and had someone on the green stop to let me across.

I feel bad, because I get really annoyed about it but they're just trying to be helpful and courteous. I just wish they understood that it would be more helpful and courteous to just abide by the rules of the road.
 

· Failboat Captian
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6,559 Posts
Here's to you, idiot on a 4 lane road where the MUT crosses, who stops and tries to wave me across the intersection, as cars wizz past in the lane next to you.

And here's to you Mr. Right Hook and Ms. Left Hook

I'd like to not die today, you Dorkasaurus Rex.
 
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