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151 Posts
Leave them in the cupboard under the sink.


Sorry, couldn't help myself.


You put the shorts on and sit on the bike, the shorts take care of everything else.
 

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but serioulsy, folks

It's not quite as simple as Nob implies. You have to experiment. Different people do it differently, and it can vary depending on just how the shorts fit you, how the chamois is shaped, how your saddle hits you -- and the size and shape of your bits. Some guys angle to the side, some point it up, and some place things in kind of normal jockstrap mode.
 

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Some of us even have to tow a trailer...

Seriously, did you have to ask how to sit down on the toilet?
Just try it, you'll figure it out... if it's painful, you're doing it wrong.
 

· (not a real racer)
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I get myself set in a good position before I get on the bike then by the time I hit the one mile mark everything shifts to a different spot. But as Dr.Nob said the shorts kinda take care of it, at least they do for me. No matter where I put it everything ends up somewhere else. Get some chamois cream and ride.
 

· Off the back.
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64 Posts
You'll need duct tape and four shaved patches, one on either cheek and one just under your hip points for anchorage. Take a strip of tape and attach to the left cheek, lift package up and to the left and run the tape under your crotch and up to the right hip point. Repeat with the right cheek (important note: lift package up and to the right this time or you'll get everything messed up).

This keeps everything properly oriented and stops things from getting mashed "down there".

To prevent turtling I often run Mr. Happy down the left leg of my shorts and use the rubber cuff grips to keep him snug and in place.

Hope this helps.

; ^)
 

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^ you said "turtling".... Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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