BMX I'm late to this thread, but maybe an anecdote will make you feel better.
The second road race I ever did in my life, my teammate and I were about 20 miles in, attempting to bridge up to a breakaway, and we were both hauling buckets. I was desperately clinging to her wheel hoping not to get shelled, and overlapping it a bit when she stood up and moved her bike over prolly 8" -- swept my front wheel right out from under me, and I skidded across the nasty sharp chipseal at 25+ mph. Tore my entire right side off, down to the bone in a couple places. I was so pissed off (mostly at myself) that I grabbed my bike out of the ditch and chased for a young eternity and eventually caught back on to the front.
I looked about like Jens did yesterday at the finish line, bleeding profusely, with most of my arse end hanging out of my (formerly brand new, expensive) shorts. Rode past our coach and he was like OMG ARE YOU OKAY and I was like NO!!!!! (and maybe some cuss words).
I immediately went to my teammate to apologize for making such a n00b mistake like that, and before I could even get a word in, she apologized profusely for sweeping my wheel when she stood up. She'd made the break and won the race (which was our goal, and I was bridging with her to give her support), but she thought she was in the wrong.
The point I'm trying to make here, is that it takes 2 to tango. BOTH of us made mistakes that day, and bike races are dangerous and accidents do happen. That's bike racing.
I still have a big thick keloid scar on my right shoulder, 24 seasons later, just to remind me of that. All the other ones have faded.
That same teammate and I went on to win several other races over the next 3 seasons, and we are still good friends to this day, albiet time and distance means we mostly only communicate through Facebook these days.
So yes, learn something from it, and I'm glad you're taking accountability for it, but the only way forward is through, and the only way to be a better bike racer is to keep doing bike races. Crashes just happen. Go out with some good riders and learn roadie skills, and yea it sucks to crash out a buddy, but just talk to him, ask him if he's okay, and tell him you're sorry it happened.