Road Bike, Cycling Forums banner
1 - 20 of 32 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am 16 year old girl on a race team. I enjoy riding and all of the aspects of the sport, but I'm having a difficult training time. I live in a small town that has a group ride once a week with one woman and a bunch of men. I really enjoy going to the ride though. The rest of the time, I am either stuck on my trainer- which is horrible in the middle of summer, or I'm riding in my neighborhood not making many miles. My parents being natually protective will not let me go anywhere by myself. There is not much of a choice of people to ride with in town. I'm starting to not enjoy the training and I hate to think of the next trainer session. What should I do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
talk w/ your parents. have them buy you mase or a compact taser if they are that paranoid.
keep pushing and pushing them. parents are suckers for annoying/ persistant requests.
consider this: my parents told me they'd stop paying my college tuition if i were to ever get a motorcycle. in one summer i not only convinced them to let me get one, but they ended up loaning me all $6500 since my bank wouldnt!!!!

so first try that.
i'd definitly get really annoyed in your position. plus riding on your own will most likely help you alot.


but at 16 you'd think they'd cut you some slack. i mean you wanna cycle, not do drugs. there's nothing more i'd like my kids to do then be excited about a sport they love.

BE PERSISTANT, they'll cave in!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21,832 Posts
Reason with your parents

vivelance6 said:
My parents being natually protective will not let me go anywhere by myself. What should I do?
Obviously I know nothing about your location, but I would say that your parents are being grossly overprotective. I raised two daughters and thought nothing of letting go off by themselves when they were your age. I would think that you could work out some sort of arrangement where your parents knew (and agreed with) your route choice and knew your departure and expected return time. Heck, if you have a cell phone, you could call and check in, though that hardly seems necessary in a "small town" unless the place is swarming with meth-heads. Solo bike rides, and solo training, are one of the most enjoyable parts of the sport - lots of time to think about anything and everything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,083 Posts
Probably they are worried that you'll get a flat in the 'hood and nobody will be around to pick you up. I agree with the "be persistent" reasoning outlined above, but nothing beats visual aides. So while you are making your case, fix a flat (or just change a tube) while you are talking. That should take the "you'll be stranded" argument off of the table, without even actually having to raise the subject.

If you can't fix a flat... well... you need to be able to fix a flat. Period. So if you don't know how, learn.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
that's a good point Kerry Irons, bring your cell phone with you! tell them if they ever get worried they can call and you'll pull over and answer. also, fixes the problem of getting flats. you can call them and have them pick you up if you get one.

i use the nerdy belt clip case and clip my phone to my brake cables on the front of my bike and it sits perfect and i can always hear it if it rings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
transamman1999 said:
that's a good point Kerry Irons, bring your cell phone with you! tell them if they ever get worried they can call and you'll pull over and answer. also, fixes the problem of getting flats. you can call them and have them pick you up if you get one.

i use the nerdy belt clip case and clip my phone to my brake cables on the front of my bike and it sits perfect and i can always hear it if it rings.
Well I already have my cell phone with me at all times, even on group rides they make me. I should rephrase that I don't exactly live in a small town, but not a metropolis either. I live in the southeast in a town about 40,000 (100,000 county)...but still there's not that much traffic and that's what they worry most about and the fact that I'm a girl, which never worries me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
vivelance6 said:
Well I already have my cell phone with me at all times, even on group rides they make me. I should rephrase that I don't exactly live in a small town, but not a metropolis either. I live in the southeast in a town about 40,000 (100,000 county)...but still there's not that much traffic and that's what they worry most about and the fact that I'm a girl, which never worries me.
well then i guess you just have to work on your phsycho-overprotective parents.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,230 Posts
I'm a dad. Even so, my daughters are not yet 16, so my frame of reference is a bit limited.

BUT -- have you introduced your folks to the folks on your team? That will help a lot.
And, if it can't be all group rides, at least you can find one or two people to ride with, don't you think?
Work with your folks. It is hard to understand on your end how precious you are to them and how difficult it is for them to know if, where, and how to set your boundaries. They remember very, very clearly when you were entirely dependent on them for everything. Now that you're not anymore, you have to find your way with them together, which means that there must be mutual trust. Just your letting them know who you are with would be a huge, huge step in that direction. Once they're comfortable that you have made some good choices, it will get easier.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,230 Posts
transamman1999 said:
talk w/ your parents. have them buy you mase or a compact taser if they are that paranoid.
keep pushing and pushing them. parents are suckers for annoying/ persistant requests.
consider this: my parents told me they'd stop paying my college tuition if i were to ever get a motorcycle. in one summer i not only convinced them to let me get one, but they ended up loaning me all $6500 since my bank wouldnt!!!!

so first try that.
i'd definitly get really annoyed in your position. plus riding on your own will most likely help you alot.


but at 16 you'd think they'd cut you some slack. i mean you wanna cycle, not do drugs. there's nothing more i'd like my kids to do then be excited about a sport they love.

BE PERSISTANT, they'll cave in!
you are no doubt very very good at being annoying.
do your parents discourage you from wearing a helmet on the motorcycle?
just asking.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,083 Posts
vivelance6 said:
there's not that much traffic and that's what they worry most about and the fact that I'm a girl, which never worries me.
demonstrate your self sufficiency. Show 'em how you can fix a flat if you get one or fix a broken chain if it snaps (rarer, but it does happen). Educate your parents about the unlikelihood that you'll get stranded given your skilz.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
bill said:
I'm a dad. Even so, my daughters are not yet 16, so my frame of reference is a bit limited.

BUT -- have you introduced your folks to the folks on your team? That will help a lot.
And, if it can't be all group rides, at least you can find one or two people to ride with, don't you think?
Work with your folks. It is hard to understand on your end how precious you are to them and how difficult it is for them to know if, where, and how to set your boundaries. They remember very, very clearly when you were entirely dependent on them for everything. Now that you're not anymore, you have to find your way with them together, which means that there must be mutual trust. Just your letting them know who you are with would be a huge, huge step in that direction. Once they're comfortable that you have made some good choices, it will get easier.
I will try to work on the parents even more. They know my team and let me go ride with them anytime, the problem is they are out of town in about 1 1/2 away.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,140 Posts
Southeast womens riding

Not sure exactly where you are located but the Southeast has several large womens teams one of which might be close enough to you to provid you contact with someone you parents would trust.

In the NC RTP area The BMW Bianchi team has quite a few women and are allways looking for new women racers to encourage. The Atlanta Region is the home of Travelgirl. Arrons is also in the GA region but all fo the womens teams have members living all over. You may find your parents more receptive to having someone from one of those organizations chaperone you to some rides races. Not thats mens teams could not do the same.


vivelance6 said:
Well I already have my cell phone with me at all times, even on group rides they make me. I should rephrase that I don't exactly live in a small town, but not a metropolis either. I live in the southeast in a town about 40,000 (100,000 county)...but still there's not that much traffic and that's what they worry most about and the fact that I'm a girl, which never worries me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
146 Posts
Have them follow you.

Have your parents follow you on a few rides and let them get comfortable with where and how you ride. I think it would let them know you are being safe and its not dangerous or unsafe for you to go out by yourself. PS have them crank your favorite tunes on the radio so you can listen to it also. this should get them to let you go by yourself or have them get a bike and go with you and then make them suffer it would be fun to see.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,230 Posts
I think you guys are overlooking something -- it's not terribly safe to ride alone. I'm not a big fan of it for me, and I'm a 47 y/o male. I think it depends where you are riding, of course, but I would not be happy for my 16 y/o daughter to be out riding alone on lonely roads. On the trails or in an area where there are lots of other cyclists around is one thing.
Get some training partners. Carry a cellphone. Be smart.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,230 Posts
I heard just this morning that a guy crashed on a local, well-traveled MUT. They found him, no one seems to know how much later, dead. No one knows why he crashed. There also was a fatal robbery on the same little bucolic trail within the past couple of weeks. There have been rapes, etc.
It ain't that safe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,083 Posts
bill said:
I think you guys are overlooking something -- it's not terribly safe to ride alone. I'm not a big fan of it for me, and I'm a 47 y/o male. I think it depends where you are riding, of course, but I would not be happy for my 16 y/o daughter to be out riding alone on lonely roads. On the trails or in an area where there are lots of other cyclists around is one thing.
Get some training partners. Carry a cellphone. Be smart.
Yeah, Bill, my daughter is only 10, so I'm not quite there yet. But I remember being 16... sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night, going to keg parties, ditching school and otherwise engaging in debauchery that my parents were in the dark about. Not to mention what happened when girls were around.

If the choice is between that or my daughter out riding her bike.... well, I think the chances of getting in trouble with her friends whilst not on the bike will be astronomically greater than by herself on her bike. For every random dude that gets killed on an MUT, there are 100,000 girls who are pulling bongloads.
 

·
my legs hurt
Joined
·
1,041 Posts
im surprised nobody mentioned this: see if you can get your parents to ride with you. I know this may seem kind of like a bad idea at first (they most likely wont be able to keep up) but what if you found a nice 4-8 mile loop that they could ride as well, so for thw majority of the time your alone but every once in a while you pass them (they can go the opposite direction if they want to see you more often) to give them some piece of mind. Find a parking area along the loop, they they (ot just one of them) could sit in the car and if they dont want to ride any more or maybe dont want to ride in general. This technique works from home if your street is included as part of the loop. I never had this problem because when I was 16 i was into swimming and water polo...mom always knew where I was.

if they dont fly for any of the above have one of them drive behind you or drive ahead of you to serve as checkpoints/pacers along the way, probably safer having a car for protection on the road anyways.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Maybe your parents are right. Are you sure it's safe? The southeast seems to have a disproportionate share of rapists and molesters.

I'm in the northeast and have been assaulted numerous times while alone - luckily just getting things thrown at me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,500 Posts
My athletic scholarship, not in cycling, help offset tuition cost for college. Follow?

Hey Mom and Dad, my first kid didn't get a chance to ride a bike or surf or hike. Lighten up and give your daughter some support. Go ride with her for a while!
 
1 - 20 of 32 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top