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your text here
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
literally
they leave behind a stench that is indescribable. usually takes me two-three cleaning to get the house back in order.
now, we all know i cant stand the inlaws. they are visiting. again. wednesday-friday. possibly saturday. they are staying in a hotel, which is nice, but The Wife still lights candles, opens windows, and clorox-wipes all surfaces after they leave for their afternoon "rest."

tonight, however, takes the urinal cake.

tonight i noticed something "funny" beneath the toilet in the master bath while getting ready for bed. a wadded up bunch of TP. thinking it was maybe water from the shower (which is next to the toilet) that spilled out after my post-bike shower and The Wife attempted a clean up, i picked it up.
yeah.
whoops.
soaked in urine.
groooooooossssss.
i asked The Wife if she had an incident and she denied. i brought her in and showed her.
"maybe The Kid used the bathroom and tried cleaning it up."
"he never uses this bathroom, nor does he go without telling us. and there is now way he pissed this much."
"maybe the toilet overflowed."
"i would have noticed that after my shower. and there is no way wadded up TP would be that saturated with piss from an overflowed toilet."
i asked if her mom used our bathroom since dinner. "i dunno. i think she might have."
groooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssssssss
i started cleaning it up and found more wadded TP behind the seat.
sick.
wtf? did she try to piss standing up?
in mid quick-clean (bleach and wipes) i find more wadded up, urine soaked TP on the front of the seat. like a woman wiped and left some behind. even after the quick clean it still reeked of piss. so i deep cleaned the entire area. at 10:35 tonight.
washed my hands four times and still cant get the thought outta my head.
this pissed (pun intended) me off, as i thought this was were The Wife should step in.
once i finished, The Wife said, "you must really love me."
"you must have a lot of faith," i replied. she didnt get it.
if only her mom would leave the toilet area as dry as my response.
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
seriously gross.
 

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oh man! If I were you, Id say something along the lines of: "If you can't use the toilet properly, then you need to hold it!" to the MIL.

Who cares if you're the bad guy? If it will halt the action, then its worth it. Maybe your wife doesn't want to be and its easier to deflect it off on you.

However you decide to handle it.. good luck.

Yuck.
 

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Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
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27,036 Posts
Um, yeah, that's disgusting. Why do they stay in a hotel? Can't they just tow their "home" with them on the road?
 

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Lemur-ing
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18,987 Posts
That's funny and pitiful at the same time.

Revenge - piss all over the carpet in her hotel room. Drink LOTS of water before attempt.

And, who the ***k would do that? I mean, leave a waddled up bunch of toilet paper to soak it up from whatever the hell they were doing and just leave it there, without telling anyone, in someone's HOUSE.

That's just immoral and plain effed up IMO. Seriously. It's rude, disgusting and shows no respect for the person you did that to. Inexcusable.


//This reminds me of the one time, my friend thought the toilet paper was on the floor for some reason. He picked it up, only to find poop right under it and have his hands covered in poop. Needless to say, he yelled the loudest expletive mankind has heard.
 

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Not a rocket surgeon.
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Set up a welcome kit of shampoo, soap, tooth paste and the such like a hotel. Be sure to include some Depends and cleaning products. Maybe they will get the idea.
 

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Lemur-ing
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jlandry said:
Sounds like my house. I have two tween boys who can't aim worth $hit when they pee.
Sitting down will help them.
 

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Frog Whisperer
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as an aside and only slightly off topic, when I was a little kid, my dad was a smoker....the toilet usually had a butt floating in it, (water and sewage was too expensive to flush the butts one at a time). I attribute my IMPECCABLE aiming skills to chasing the butts around the bowl trying to drown them.

SO....if you have boys, that can't aim.....take up smoking???????
 

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Touch0Gray said:
as an aside and only slightly off topic, when I was a little kid, my dad was a smoker....the toilet usually had a butt floating in it, (water and sewage was too expensive to flush the butts one at a time). I attribute my IMPECCABLE aiming skills to chasing the butts around the bowl trying to drown them.

SO....if you have boys, that can't aim.....take up smoking???????
not off topic your "aim" was right on... :thumbsup:
 

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They sound old and perhaps have incontinence issues?

I got to thinking, how did what sounds to be an awful lot of TP get soaked in strictly urine? What, did she hold the TP and pee all over it and then dump it around the toilet? That makes no sense.

Having worked with little old people, and seen a gammut of weird habits, likely scenario is she had stuffed the TP in her undies precisely because she is incontinent and wanted to "catch" any accidents if she couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. Then, when she went to use your bathroom all that TP fell out. Perhaps she only thought it had fallen into the toilet and not on the floor.

These habits (and incontinece) explain the general odor from them as well. Kind of sad, because one day, most of us will be peeing our pants too.

Years ago I did a home visit on a patient who was so old he literally had flown with Lindberg (had piccies to prove it). I walked in to the dingy kitchen where he was sitting at the table. All of a sudden he leans over and hawks up a giant loogie. I watched the loogie descend in a long, rubbery strand and finally plop into a box on the floor beneath his feet.

So, naturally I'm curious and peer into the box. The box was full of jars, I'd say about ten or twelve and each jar was around 1/3 to 3/4 full of loogies in varying states of fresh, to congealed, to the highly crusty. Must've been a year's worth of loogies in those jars.
 

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your text here
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
my first thought when i saw it was The Wife left a tampon on the floor, but her MO is to wrap it in a few layers of TP and pitch it, not leave it there. thats when i brought her in to check it out. once she declared it was not hers, and we deduced it was not a tampon, i asked if it was possible her mom had stuffed a bunch of TP in her grunderwear as a substitute for poise pads.

UPDATE: The Wife just called. "i talked to my mom on the phone and she says she doesnt know what im talking about. she says she didnt use our bathroom. i believe her. i know when shes lying."

1) talking on the phone is not like confronting someone face-to-face
2) mil does lie. a lot. she feigns ignorance.
3) The Wife never picks up on point 2.

OldEndicottHiway said:
I got to thinking, how did what sounds to be an awful lot of TP get soaked in strictly urine? What, did she hold the TP and pee all over it and then dump it around the toilet? That makes no sense.
 

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Premium Member
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Well, I would not want your inlaws to visit my house. But, your post raises an interesting subject about how one should deal with the gross physical issues that accompany old age. One relative of mine (now deceased) started having problems in her decling years. She went to the opposite extreme of your inlaws -- she refused to leave her house except for rare occasions and, I was told by those who knew, that if she left the house for an hour or two, she carried enough "supplies" to last for a month, including trash bags so that she could take any used supplies with her and not leave any trace. Someone else I knew (also now deceased) had a major stroke and would drool uncontrollably. He went everywhere, accepted dinner invitations, etc. He would just wipe off the drool with a napkin in midsentence and keep on talking as if nothing had happened. It sounds to me like your inlaws are in denial about something everyone's nose knows all about. Someone needs to talk to them. But, if your inlaws are anything like mine (and about 99.9% of inlaws), this is not a subject for a son-in-law to raise.
 

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I can top that story

OldEndicottHiway said:
They sound old and perhaps have incontinence issues?

I got to thinking, how did what sounds to be an awful lot of TP get soaked in strictly urine? What, did she hold the TP and pee all over it and then dump it around the toilet? That makes no sense.

Having worked with little old people, and seen a gammut of weird habits, likely scenario is she had stuffed the TP in her undies precisely because she is incontinent and wanted to "catch" any accidents if she couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. Then, when she went to use your bathroom all that TP fell out. Perhaps she only thought it had fallen into the toilet and not on the floor.

These habits (and incontinece) explain the general odor from them as well. Kind of sad, because one day, most of us will be peeing our pants too.

Years ago I did a home visit on a patient who was so old he literally had flown with Lindberg (had piccies to prove it). I walked in to the dingy kitchen where he was sitting at the table. All of a sudden he leans over and hawks up a giant loogie. I watched the loogie descend in a long, rubbery strand and finally plop into a box on the floor beneath his feet.

So, naturally I'm curious and peer into the box. The box was full of jars, I'd say about ten or twelve and each jar was around 1/3 to 3/4 full of loogies in varying states of fresh, to congealed, to the highly crusty. Must've been a year's worth of loogies in those jars.

My great Aunt died recently. My BIL got involved with the situation as he is her EyeDoc and he could see her condition was deteriorating quickly so he stopped by her house to check on her living condition. Aunt Peggy has a sister that lives with her, has for a long time. Peggy was treating her more as a prisoner than a sister(she was sleeping on an army cot), BOTH were living on cheese and crackers, beer, and not much else. My BIL visit discovered that they had running water and only cold, the toilet had not worked for years. He wondered if the toilet was not working then what were they doing for facilities? He went to the basement and found that they were storing their excretions in jars, in the basement, urine was being poured down the drain.
 
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