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Since my little boy's first Christmas has come and gone, and he’s now working his way through the metric ton of toys he got (mostly from the Grandmothers, [email protected] them), I’m starting to sort out which ones are the most irritating.

First, there’s the Learn Around Playground. It’s a really well-designed, well-built toy that’s educational and has a huge array of music- and sound-producing buttons, slides, balls, keys, etc. to keep the child entertained. My little guy’s big enough to pull himself up on the toy and play with it, but he's still on the early end of the age range for it, so he hasn’t quite developed the motor skills to play with one thing at a time. Let me rephrase that…he tries to play with one thing at a time, but as he’s holding on for dear life to keep from falling down, his elbow accidentally presses a button, or his left hand hits a key while his right hand is hitting another one. So as some nursery rhyme music is playing in the background, his actions are causing a cacophony of songs, letters and other sounds to play over it. “Do da do—Red—High in the air—R—R—Down—Blue—Z—Yellow—Up—Harmonica Solo!—“ You get the idea. I just can’t wait for the day when he has the coordination to really play with it. Of course that will create all new cacophonies. :rolleyes: Thank God for the Off switch.

The other one that gets on my nerves does it for an entirely different reason. It’s this little panel that resembles a dashboard in a car, with a steering wheel, shifter, ignition key, and whatever else. Everything makes some kind of noise, which is fine; this one creates less of the maddening garble of sounds than the other one. My problem with it is this: when the child presses the horn, it goes “Beep beep! Out of the way!” IMO, it’s just wrong to teach a child it’s OK to say something like that while driving. I realize I’m being somewhat prudish by saying that, but I’ve consciously stopped saying things like that when I’m driving just so he won’t do it to some old lady while riding his tricycle down the sidewalk someday. Again, thank God for the Off switch.

Well, my rant’s over. Anyone else want to vent about irritating toys?
 

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Shirtcocker
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anything that makes lots of irritating noises--my oldest once had this duck family thing that you pull around behind you that went "quack, quack, quack, quack" in this singsong way--drove my wife and I nuts.
 

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that damm Dora the Explora

little color push button game. has a hair trigger and everytime it gets bumped it says "Hola I'm Dora...." I've never been so close to throwing something out the window of a vehicle in my life
 

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Any toy that needs a battery will at some point become a major annoyance!

Many of the toys that our daughter has been given are supposed to have batteries, we just never put them in; she is none the wiser and likes them anyway.

I think it is our parents secret revenge to give her toys with a maximum annoyance factor :rolleyes:
 

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My back hurts
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When my daughter was little, she had some kind of talking Elmo toy. Its most frequently repeated phrase was "I FEEL GREAT!" It was really friggin loud. At about 3:00 one random morning, the damn thing went haywire and started saying "I FEEL GREAT! I FEEL GREAT!" over and over again. My wife and I couldn't figure out where the stupid thing was for what seemed like 15 minutes. We finally found it at the bottom of one of Molly's many toy chests. She slept through the whole thing. We promptly removed its batteries. Another annoying thing is the Furby. Again, when Molly was little, she had one. It drove us nuts and ultimately "went missing." Well, they're back now, and both of the kids got them for Christmas. Fortunately, they don't seem to be all that interested in them.
 

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atpjunkie said:
little color push button game. has a hair trigger and everytime it gets bumped it says "Hola I'm Dora...." I've never been so close to throwing something out the window of a vehicle in my life
next door neighbor's kid has this care bears tricycle that constantly is playing the care bears theme song--talk about irritating!!
 

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They are all...

They are all irritating sooner or later. The ones that really get me are those that are really loud and do not have a lower volume option. I think that such gifts our parents give to our kids are their way of getting back at us :D My parents bought their grandsons a large playground that I spent all weekend putting together. Though, my oldest son did help out when he could: http://www.teamwhatley.com/baby/120505/

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing things like that, but the directions were scary at times. For example, "The distance between the pilars must be exactly 43" or nothing will fit together correctly later on."

Our friends gave us this toy that when you put a letter of the alphabet in it would pronounce the sound of the letter with a little jingle. For example, "A says 'ah' A says 'ah' Every letter makes a sound, A says 'ah'." The funny thing was, and we have this on tape, is that when my son put in the letter "A" the jingle started off with "C." The toy did this twice, but has performed flawlessly since.
 

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can't help myself

Sweet Milk said:
Any toy that needs a battery will at some point become a major annoyance! :rolleyes:
I think some of our female members may beg to differ
 

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well I jumped on your

lack of clarification. you did say 'any' toy
 

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Squirrel Hunter
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The Box

High Rouleur said:
...I’m starting to sort out which ones are the most irritating...
You already got rid of the most irratating toy. It is the 25 cent box that contained the $100 Wonder Toy. Mom/Dad/Grandma got in line at Crap R Us at 4:00am in the rain to be able to get one of the twelve Wonder Toys the store would be getting for the entire holiday season. You know it, the Wonder Toy they started advertising Labor Day weekend that your kid asked for during every other commercial break when the carefully crafted advertisement ran. After having the home equity loan approved you were finally allowed to purchase the Wonder Toy. You hide it at home so the kid wont find it before Christmas then you spend two hours Christmas Eve frantically searching for the secret hiding place you forgot about. Christmas morning you wait with more anticipation than your child for the Wonder Toy to be unwrapped and bring joy to your small childs life. Doesn't matter that the fat b'tard in the red suit will get the credit, you are just happy to know you contributed to your childs happiness. As soon as the paper is off the box and the Wonder Toy extracted your kid is over in the corner playing with the 25 cent box. How irritating!
 

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Bocephus Jones II said:
anything that makes lots of irritating noises--my oldest once had this duck family thing that you pull around behind you that went "quack, quack, quack, quack" in this singsong way--drove my wife and I nuts.


funny you should mention that. my son got one of those last christmas, really quite annoying. perhaps more annoying than listening to it, is getting it stuck in your head the rest of the day. especially those last two high pitched quacks! anyway, he just pulled it out of his toybox tonight right before bed, and did a lap around the room. i wonder if he'd notice it missing?

the_dude
 

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Keeping up with Junior said:
You already got rid of the most irratating toy. It is the 25 cent box that contained the $100 Wonder Toy. Mom/Dad/Grandma got in line at Crap R Us at 4:00am in the rain to be able to get one of the twelve Wonder Toys the store would be getting for the entire holiday season. You know it, the Wonder Toy they started advertising Labor Day weekend that your kid asked for during every other commercial break when the carefully crafted advertisement ran. After having the home equity loan approved you were finally allowed to purchase the Wonder Toy. You hide it at home so the kid wont find it before Christmas then you spend two hours Christmas Eve frantically searching for the secret hiding place you forgot about. Christmas morning you wait with more anticipation than your child for the Wonder Toy to be unwrapped and bring joy to your small childs life. Doesn't matter that the fat b'tard in the red suit will get the credit, you are just happy to know you contributed to your childs happiness. As soon as the paper is off the box and the Wonder Toy extracted your kid is over in the corner playing with the 25 cent box. How irritating!
You would be lucky if that box cost even 25 cents.....
 

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Travels by Map
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My kids didn't really get anything annoying this year. In fact, they got a couple of toys I love to play with.

The National Geographic Jet Hawk Glider (less than $20 at Target) is really fun. I shoot it out of the launcher then they run to get it and bring it back to me. ;)
 

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nate said:
The National Geographic Jet Hawk Glider (less than $20 at Target) is really fun. I shoot it out of the launcher then they run to get it and bring it back to me. ;)
That's awesome. When you can sit in a lawn chair drinking a beer and still keep your kids entertained, you've reached the pinnacle of fatherhood. ;) I'm off to Target tomorrow.
 

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Roadie with unshaven legs
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About two years ago my sister gave my daughter a toy that played an annoying song whenever you touched it. The sound was pretty loud, there was no volume nor power switch. It would go off on its own every once in a while, probably from the vibrations from people walking on the hardwood floors. One night I was trying to enjoy a movie and the damn thing went off about five times in the first half of the movie. I removed the battery and the thing never made a peep afterwards. My wife threw it away the next day thinking that it was broken since it would not play that stupid song anymore. Good riddens!
 

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mickey-mac said:
When my daughter was little, she had some kind of talking Elmo toy. Its most frequently repeated phrase was "I FEEL GREAT!" It was really friggin loud. At about 3:00 one random morning, the damn thing went haywire and started saying "I FEEL GREAT! I FEEL GREAT!" over and over again. My wife and I couldn't figure out where the stupid thing was for what seemed like 15 minutes. We finally found it at the bottom of one of Molly's many toy chests. She slept through the whole thing. We promptly removed its batteries. Another annoying thing is the Furby. Again, when Molly was little, she had one. It drove us nuts and ultimately "went missing." Well, they're back now, and both of the kids got them for Christmas. Fortunately, they don't seem to be all that interested in them.
Something similar happened with a toy my daughter got for Xmas when she was much younger. My sister bought her the Ring around the Rosie doll. You hold her hands and she sings Ring around the Rosie...really loudly. After a few weeks of this, I buried Rosie in the bottom of the toy box while my daughter was at school. Fast forward to a few weeks later and I'm awakened by Rosie going full throttle at about 4am. Apparently, the cat was laying in a pile of stuffed animals in the toy box and caused things to shift, setting Rosie off. I'm sure I was quite a sight tearing through that toybox. Rosie lost her batteries shortly thereafter.

I got revenge on my sister by buying sock 'em boppers for my nephews the next year!
 

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i don't have kids, in fact im closer to bein one than to having one, but i was in a toy store the other day with my cousin and noticed a kids play-piano with irritating key-sounds that were VERY loud- might be cute for a while but i bet after a few hours of your little mozart slamming at that thing, you'd be reaching for the motrin!
 

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A Canadian in Sweden
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nate said:
My kids didn't really get anything annoying this year. In fact, they got a couple of toys I love to play with.

The National Geographic Jet Hawk Glider (less than $20 at Target) is really fun. I shoot it out of the launcher then they run to get it and bring it back to me. ;)
I like that one Nate, nothing like playing fetch with your kids ;). My children didn't really get anything useless this year either. Lego was the big hit this year. Here in Sweden, Lego just seems to be one of those timeless toys that can be passed down from child to child. No batteries, ala atp, safe to play with, and good at building motor skills and creativity. The only Lego that we consider useless are all the Bionicle, Technic, and film related Lego (Harry Potter, Star Wars). It seems that once children build up the models, that they simply put it on a shelf and don't want to take it apart. Plus the Bionicle Technic stuff is just too strange and uninteresting, and doesn't do anything to develop a child's creativity. The whole idea with Lego is to build and be creative. Lego City and World City are the best for that.
Cheers, Wayne
 
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