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You're Not the Boss of Me
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Doug's thread about the fish got me thinking. It is funny, we try to protect our youngsters (as we should) from the trauma that may come from learning about death, especially the death of a family pet, but honestly I have found the loss of a pet much more traumatic as an adult than I ever did as a kid.

We had a dog and a couple of cats die over the years I was growing up. I know I cried each time, but probably for less than an hour, and moved on. Pet ownership as an adult has been much different.

I had to put down a 16 year old dog about 3 years ago and I'm not sure I've ever cried that hard in my life. Loud gasping sobs, deep soul pain. A sense of sadness, loss, and "foreverness" than I never felt as a kid. I'm glad kids don't feel the pain that deeply.

Is my experience common to others? What's it all about?
 

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midnight melon mounter
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Adult v. kid

My childhood dog faded away while I was in college and his death affected me only lightly.

I can't bear to consider the mortality of the little fella I have now. I suspect it will be a completely different ball game.

On a side note, I got back from vacation late last night. Having a dog waiting (in this case, waiting to be picked up from his 'grandparents' house) makes the end of a vacation less melancholy. I was thinking about heem the whole time.

 

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wut?
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I agree, having to put down dogs in the last few years has definitely been harder than when I was a kid. I did the same thing as a kid--I was sad for a little while and then we got a new dog and I was fine again. I've had to put down two dogs in the last 4 years or so. The last one from just a few months ago was the hardest. We got that pooch when I was about 7, so he's been around for about as long as I can remember (because my parents kept me sedated before that).

I don't think your experiences are uncommon at all. Losing a dog can be hard. And even though you admitted to crying, I don't think you're a sissy. :D
 

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Non non normal
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Pet losses can be very difficult on adults. I think it is proportional on how much time you spend with the pet.

A dog is a good example of unconditional love. It doesn't matter what kind of mood you are in, what you are wearing, how much money you make, or what social group you belong to. When you come home that dog loves you and wags it's tail and is happy to see you.
 

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midnight melon mounter
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I went by Superdizzle in a cab at 1am this morning. It's on my route to/fro O'Hare.

They were closed. I was pissed.
 

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wut?
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Alex-in-Evanston said:
I went by Superdizzle in a cab at 1am this morning. It's on my route to/fro O'Hare.

They were closed. I was pissed.
They close at 1 on Sundays. You just missed 'em.
 

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Shirtcocker
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Scotty2Hotty said:
I agree, having to put down dogs in the last few years has definitely been harder than when I was a kid. I did the same thing as a kid--I was sad for a little while and then we got a new dog and I was fine again. I've had to put down two dogs in the last 4 years or so. The last one from just a few months ago was the hardest. We got that pooch when I was about 7, so he's been around for about as long as I can remember (because my parents kept me sedated before that).

I don't think your experiences are uncommon at all. Losing a dog can be hard. And even though you admitted to crying, I don't think you're a sissy. :D
I think it's harder now because YOU choose to do it--not your parents. Making the choice to put a loved pet down is extremely hard even when it's the right thing to do.
 

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wut?
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Bocephus Jones II said:
I think it's harder now because YOU choose to do it--not your parents. Making the choice to put a loved pet down is extremely hard even when it's the right thing to do.
I was actually present for the first time at the vet when we put our last one down. It was not any easier than I thought it would have been. It sucks--no doubt about it.
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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I have a 95 year old cat ( 19 1/2 actual years old ) that is starting to go. He's losing weight and is starting to smell like "dog". (doesn't clean his fur like cat's do). I'm going to have to wait until he is pretty far gone before I take him in.
 

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Shirtcocker
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Scotty2Hotty said:
I was actually present for the first time at the vet when we put our last one down. It was not any easier than I thought it would have been. It sucks--no doubt about it.
When we put down our 2 old dogs last year the vet came to our house to do it. We weren't planning on having the kids watch, but they insisted and fortunately everything went smoothly. No weird twitches or anything. The vet gave the dogs a strong tranq. before injecting the blue juice which I think helped with that. Just looked like they went to sleep.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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Pets become part of the family.....

2 years ago,I had to put down Marika after 13 years of companionship.

She was there when I was alone after my Divorce,
She was there when I met my mate.
She was there as I raised my kids
She was there when I was at my best & my worst.
She was there.

11 PM in the middle of a blizzard, I hear a yelp and a scream.....she has had a stroke, spasm'd and snapped her spine, she is in agony. We call the vet who is willing to meet us at the clinic.......I pick her up and climb into the tail of the SUV holding her on my lap, trying to comfort what can not be comforted.

It was like losing part of me. 2 years later as I type this I am still overcome with emotion.

Pain is the cost of caring......and connection is the reward.

Your experience is common to me.

Len
 

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jtolleson said:
Doug's thread about the fish got me thinking. It is funny, we try to protect our youngsters (as we should) from the trauma that may come from learning about death, especially the death of a family pet, but honestly I have found the loss of a pet much more traumatic as an adult than I ever did as a kid.

We had a dog and a couple of cats die over the years I was growing up. I know I cried each time, but probably for less than an hour, and moved on. Pet ownership as an adult has been much different.

I had to put down a 16 year old dog about 3 years ago and I'm not sure I've ever cried that hard in my life. Loud gasping sobs, deep soul pain. A sense of sadness, loss, and "foreverness" than I never felt as a kid. I'm glad kids don't feel the pain that deeply.

Is my experience common to others? What's it all about?
You're not alone, we lost a pet a couple years ago to cancer. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.
 

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MR_GRUMPY said:
I have a 95 year old cat ( 19 1/2 actual years old ) that is starting to go. He's losing weight and is starting to smell like "dog". (doesn't clean his fur like cat's do). I'm going to have to wait until he is pretty far gone before I take him in.
It was a serious factor to consider before moving to europe- fortunately they changed the quarantine laws- and have none, so the cats came. We can actually get pet passports for them to travel anywhere in the EU... but I never want them to endure another plane ride. Ours are 12 and 13- and that long ago I would have never imagined how attached we would become.
 

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Motorator
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jtolleson said:
I have found the loss of a pet much more traumatic as an adult than I ever did as a kid. Is my experience common to others? What's it all about?
I don't think age has any direct link; I think it's about your level of emotional dependency on the pet.

I'm the opposite of you. When I was a young teen, I cried for a week after my dog died, but he was the best thing I had going for me living with parents constantly battling each other and me battling older siblings for whatever crumbs came our way.

As an adult in the present day; my view on death is that it is not the end of the line, I have a lot more comfort about it now. And, I'm more in control of my own life. I'd say, my dependency upon someone/something else is less now than it was when I was a kid.
 

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Its terrible.

Smokey died September, 2004. I honestly don't think I'll ever have another dog because I couldn't stand the pain of going through that again.
 

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No Crybabies
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Horrific time.

I had an old cat who went nuts on me, so I decided to do the "manly" thing and take her out myself. So, we went into the woods, and only I came back. I'll omit the gruesome details. I cried for days.
 

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wut?
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Fixed said:
Horrific time.

I had an old cat who went nuts on me, so I decided to do the "manly" thing and take her out myself. So, we went into the woods, and only I came back. I'll omit the gruesome details. I cried for days.
Damn, I couldn't do that myself. No way.
 

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In need of sock puppet
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Fixed said:
Horrific time.

I had an old cat who went nuts on me, so I decided to do the "manly" thing and take her out myself. So, we went into the woods, and only I came back. I'll omit the gruesome details. I cried for days.
My neighbor's cat is nuts. It's always walking on my freshly waxed car. Or it's pissing on the wheels of my motorcycle. Sometimes even in my garage. Nutty. Do you think I could walk into the woods with that cat and come back alone?
 
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