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Mehpic
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8,162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
just having a difficult one here and needed to type.

yes, i'm 1/2 a bottle of rodney strong cab (really not that good) and a bottle of red guitar tempranillo (love in a bottle) in. the numbness may be the wine, or it may be the emotion.

of all things, a tv show set me off. i'm not a tv person, and have never gotten into a series. reality tv can just go away for all i care. the wife? quite the opposite. but that's been cool for 10+ years now, so, yeah.

House set me off. the love of a couple seeing each other dying, one in reality and one mis-diagnosed just hit hard. the opening scene of someone on their death bed, making sounds that I've heard in reality for a similar situation just kicked the seat out from under my ass and i find myself sitting on the floor, with dinner in my lap. yes, filet mignon, steamed broccoli and beef broth rice sat there. just give me the wine.

i didnt care to eat. or want to.

my wife asked if i needed to talk. we talked. it seemed to help a little. i talked of a long-time friend of my mom's who we've lost touch with in the past half-decade, for those who tuned in earlier, the real estate agent. it just set something off.

she passed out, i cleared the table. then broke down.

i havent done this as of yet. i was the strong one while the sh!t hit the fan, for the whole family. even on the day of mom's "event" (we never called it a party, a memorial, a funeral, anything- just "mom's thing") I ran the kitchen, as i usually do, and only one person caught me with a heavy sigh in the pantry- and it was my mom's only cousin, who replied with true Polish grit "i heard that".

it actually helped.

i've been thinking to myself, "mom would dig this about x", usually swim team related, and then the realization hits: i can't tell her.

sorry to dump on you guys, but the journal that i've written upon in the past just doesnt cut it- it doesnt respond. and these emotional writings cant be written by my own hand- they'd be too messy to understand.
 

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Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
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27,035 Posts
2cflyr said:
... then broke down.

i havent done this as of yet. i was the strong one while the sh!t hit the fan, for the whole family.
I think that's just what the doctor ordered. You were probably long overdue for that release.

When my dog died last year it was just after both my parents had undergone surgery (my dad for prostate cancer). I broke down when I found out about Mac; three times that morning. It was the first time I'd cried as an adult, and I think it was grieving the loss of my buddy coupled with the stress of seeing both my parents through surgery in the six weeks prior.

And for the record, that was a pretty heavy episode of House. I just finished watching it and I knew that's what you were referring to when you said you got done watching a show.
 

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Festina Lente'
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11,508 Posts
I had a breakdown about two weeks ago pretty bad, and am only now recovering to the point of talking to friends again. I know how it is.

The only analogy I can think of is to avoid target fixation. Dont stare at the rock if you dont want to ride over it. Look at what you want and ride towards it. Finish as much of the bottle as you need. Sleep hard. And wake up tomorrow to crank away.
 

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Knives, Guns, and Booze
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2,942 Posts
Lousy day—I got laid off today. But they basically gave me a fifteen-day notice, whereas the other three dipsh¡ts were escorted out by security. Do you still have a job? Rejoice! The really cool kickass thing is that they have this insane idea that people in India can do our jobs for us. I dunno how many people in India know QuarkXPress and InDesign, but more power to them if they can do it for $0.08/hour as opposed to the slave wage of $28/hour. Good luck, Parminder Muthaswamy.
 

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Lets Go Hokies!!!
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5,930 Posts
That was a pretty heavy House. I can totally see how that would set you off. I was upset and nothing even remotely has happened like that in my life.

Sending some good vibes your way 2cflyr. Sometimes its better just to get it out of your system.
 

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Spicy Dumpling
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9,721 Posts
I didn't see house but I can relate. It's been two years since losing my mom and it still hits me occasionally when I least expect it, usually in a dream when I wake up in the night. But I usually feel better after one of my episodes which are becoming rarer.

Both my wife and I were close to my mom. We feel better when talking about her, whether it is her great love of family or laughing about how bad of a driver she was.

Now you've got me started.

Keep your chin up and remember good times. That's what good times are for.
 

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Fini les ecrase-"manets"!
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9,416 Posts
Flyr--gotta let that stuff out sometimes. I always have trouble doing it, but it really can help.

Porkstacker--sorry about the job. I know how it goes. Good luck with that.
 

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Seat's not level
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19,372 Posts
Didn't watch house, but I can relate on some level. We just lost a family friend to cancer yesterday afternoon. She fought it for 16 years. It was sad, but it was time.
 

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Super Moderator
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40,807 Posts
I saw the House episode, and I just couldn't help but think the man's character was going to have something wrong about him that turned out to be from an old Fight Club injury....
 

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Shirtcocker
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60,639 Posts
...and people say Teh Lounje isn't good for anything. :rolleyes:

Good on you for venting. I also come from a relatively non-demonstrative family and have a hard time expressing sad emotions. My wife's mom and my mom died within a few months of each other. I recall when my mom died I couldn't really cry--I just went into business mode and did what had to be done. I decided that's just how I dealt with death and that there was nothing wrong with it. For a long time though I felt guilty I wasn't all weepy and upset.
 

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Mehpic
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8,162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Bocephus Jones II said:
...and people say Teh Lounje isn't good for anything. :rolleyes:

Good on you for venting. I also come from a relatively non-demonstrative family and have a hard time expressing sad emotions. My wife's mom and my mom died within a few months of each other. I recall when my mom died I couldn't really cry--I just went into business mode and did what had to be done. I decided that's just how I dealt with death and that there was nothing wrong with it. For a long time though I felt guilty I wasn't all weepy and upset.

i thought it was rather abnormal by the fact that i just hardened up through the whole thing while everyone around me was breaking down. i wrote it off as you did, especially for doing the same thing with both grandmothers in the past.
 

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Clear Lake, TX
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3,269 Posts
Hey, it happens when it happens. Better than holding it all in until the damage can't be reversed. Being able to vent is part of the cure. Sometimes, all we need is a kind ear and shoulder to release all the built up junk.

I think we try to hold it all together because we're afraid of losing control, and that we'll embarrass ourselves by how we act or are seen by others. Teh Lownge comes in handy as a sort of group therapy. Most everyone here has been through plenty of tough times, and can relate, plus offer some incredible insight and useful ways of getting through it.

My Mom has been gone for 15 years now, and it still hits me hard sometimes how much I miss her and wish she could enjoy her grandkids.
 
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