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Frog Whisperer
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Why is that upside down???
 

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Frog Whisperer
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Sure it did. It's still wrong, but bigger! :)
Perfect, I have always said, if you are going to make the same mistake, it should be bigger the second time
 

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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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5,070 Posts
63) Sometimes the devil makes me feel like posting a question about whether I should inflate my tires to the manufacturer's maximum recommended pressure... in the General Cycling forum, just so cx can show us the full spectrum of his tough love.

Lettuce pray.
 

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What the what???
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12,757 Posts
Discussion Starter · #127 · (Edited)
64.) Headphones? Spotify on the cellphone? Bluetooth speakers mounted on the handlebars??? What the hell is wrong with you? You're denying yourselves a huge part of the sensory experience of riding a bike:
  • the squeal of nearly dry bearings gouging a bearing race
  • the grinding of gritty chain links through a filthy derailleur
  • the creak of a press-fit bottom bracket or an aluminum seat post about to snap
And what about the glories of nature, huh???
  • the screech of an angry red-wing blackbird inches from your ear
  • the pleasant hum of a hornet trapped in your helmet
  • Charlie, the rabid Chihuahua, snarling and yapping as he once again tries to chase you down and feast on your ankles
You're missing out on all of this! And for what? I like "The Piña Colada Song" as much as the next guy... but there's a time and a place, people.
 

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What the what???
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12,757 Posts
Discussion Starter · #128 · (Edited)
65.) As anyone who rides the MUTs in the midwestern hinterlands can attest...

There is only one rabbit in the world.


Her name is Bun-bun.
And no matter how fast you ride she will always manage to be ahead of you on the trail...


Oh, there’s also only one chipmunk...

His name is Reggie.
But he’s a dick so we don’t talk about him.

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #129 · (Edited)
66.) Two silent sentries... standing guard... ever vigilant.


I will tell you I pass these turkeys frequently on my usual out-and-back ride. What I won’t tell you is how many times I passed them before I realized they weren’t real.

“What an odd coincidence. Those turkeys are in the same place they were when I rode by yesterday...”


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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #130 · (Edited)
67.) Speaking of things I see on the trail. These have been popping up more frequently:


(the visors, not the disembodied mannequin heads)
Which for riders of a certain age invariably calls to mind images of:

or




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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #131 · (Edited)
68.) Hey kids! It's time once again to dip into the ol' mail bag:

--------------------
Dear Opus,

I want to take up cycling, but I fear that once global warming melts the polar ice caps there won't be much road left to ride on. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Amphibious in Seattle
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Dear Amphibious in Seattle,

As my pappy used to say: "Where there's a will, there's a way... and usually a dead person”. Sure, you can rent pedal boats that allow you to ride on the water. But what you really need is something like this:


So once the prophecy of 1995's Waterworld comes true... and assuming we don't all spontaneously grow gills like Kevin Costner did... you're still covered.

XXOO,
Opus
 

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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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5,070 Posts
67.) Speaking of things I see on the trail. These have been popping up more frequently:






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Seester Berrtreeel!

I always imagined a perfect mashup wherein Sister Bertrille would go surfing Gidget-style... modest two-piece bathing suit of course, with her flying hat on.


+
= Best show ever
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #134 ·
70.) Australian Aboriginies coined the phrase "three-dog-night" to describe a night so cold that you would need three dogs with you to keep warm.

Here, it's the "three-rag-ride"; a ride so warm and humid that you'll need three do-rags/bandanas/sweat bands to make it home without the salt burning your eyes out of your head.
 

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すし + Sweet Potato Kugel
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The flying Nun modern.

 

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Frog Whisperer
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I was going through my old lit, and my seafoam, lounge shorts (actually bibs) are no longer fit to wear in:

A.) mixed company
B.) public
C.) all of the above
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #137 ·
I was going through my old lit, and my seafoam, lounge shorts (actually bibs) are no longer fit to wear in:

A.) mixed company
B.) public
C.) all of the above
D.) You’ll know when the police arrive.


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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #138 · (Edited)
71.) Spare parts bin getting a bit overcrowded? I have two words for you: Re purpose



I've taken to calling him Richard Gear.

I really shouldn’t be left alone unsupervised.


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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #139 · (Edited)
72.) There is a portion of my typical morning ride which, depending on the direction of the wind on any given day, is the bane of my riding existence. It is a long steady uphill grade... just a few degrees of incline... but if the wind is out of the north, it is soul destroying.

But here's the thing. No matter how bad it is... no matter how hard the headwind blows... if you persevere, eventually you reach the top and get to turn the bike around. And once you do the wind stops and the constant rushing in your ears is replaced by blissful calm and quiet. Before you lies a long straight downhill run with the wind at your back. In my head, I call it the "Weeeee" ride, because every time I make that turn I am suddenly 9 years old again, having slogged up a snowy hill pulling my sled so that I could revel once again in the free, fast and all-too-short plunge back down the hill...

No silliness this time. Just an observation.
 

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Frog Whisperer
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72.) There is a portion of my typical morning ride which, depending on the direction of the wind on any given day, is the bane of my riding existence. It is a long steady uphill grade... just a few degrees of incline... but if the wind is out of the north, it is soul destroying.

But here's the thing. No matter how bad it is... no matter how hard the headwind blows... if you persevere, eventually you reach the top and get to turn the bike around. And once you do the wind stops and the constant rushing in your ears is replaced by blissful calm and quiet. Before you lies a long straight downhill run with the wind at your back. In my head, I call it the "Weeeee" ride, because every time I make that turn I am suddenly 9 years old again, having slogged up a snowy hill pulling my sled so that I could revel once again in the free, fast and all-to-short plunge back down the hill...

No silliness this time. Just an observation.
Which is 10% of the time, the rest, as you crest the rise, the wind shifts 180 degrees and even though you have a descent, you still have the headwind!
 
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