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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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Which is 10% of the time, the rest, as you crest the rise, the wind shifts 180 degrees and even though you have a descent, you still have the headwind!
I tend to pick the time of day during which the wind shifts. I get a headwind both ways. It's like when I had to walk uphill both ways to school, but for reals.
 

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You know who your friends are when they (whilst following you in a paceline) inform you that your bibs are, um, past their prime.
I was going through my old lit, and my seafoam, lounge shorts (actually bibs) are no longer fit to wear in:

A.) mixed company
B.) public
C.) all of the above
 

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Frog Whisperer
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40,888 Posts
You know who your friends are when they (whilst following you in a paceline) inform you that your bibs are, um, past their prime.
Yeah, we were giving BJ a lot of crap on the first Lounge Ragbrai!
 

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What the what???
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12,757 Posts
Discussion Starter · #144 · (Edited)
73.) I get it. You want to be safe, but your helmet makes you look like a dork.



Problem solved. And before you go all “Oh, hey, nice *cough, cough, racist* helmet, Opus”...




Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

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63) Sometimes the devil makes me feel like posting a question about whether I should inflate my tires to the manufacturer's maximum recommended pressure... in the General Cycling forum, just so cx can show us the full spectrum of his tough love.

Lettuce pray.
Be sure to abuse an apostrophe and you’ll get twice the bang for the buck.
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #148 ·
75.) Coronavirus Pandemic got 'ya down? Worried that the world is hurtling toward a lawless, disease-ridden hellscape that makes the biblical apocalypse seem like a Punky Brewster Christmas Special??? Take heart. If you're old enough to understand the reference, then you know Punky Brewster was the apocalypse... If we could make it through that, we'll make it through this.
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #149 ·
76.) I just ran the numbers and I feel perfectly justified in declaring myself the winner of the 2020 Paris-Roubaix. Please mark the Wikipedia page accordingly.

Potential sponsors should contact me via PM to discuss endorsement deals and where to send swag.
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #152 ·
79.) Are you like me? Wait. Of course not. If you were like me you'd be writing this so you wouldn't even need to ask such a dumb question. But, I digress...

Sick of using earbuds only to have them fall out of your ears at an inopportune moment? Well, worry no more. I have invented an ingenious device for holding your earbuds securely in place:



Since it goes over your head, I'm thinking of calling them...

Headphones
[SUP]TM[/SUP].

Venture capitalists who would like to get in on the ground floor of this exciting new business opportunity can PM me.
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #153 ·
80.) It occurs to me as I gaze upon my vast stable of noble steeds that they each fulfill a niche similar to vehicles of the motorized variety:

 

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Banned forever.....or not
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81....Never let the people you are riding with, see you take a drink.....When they ask about it, tell them that water is for sissies.
 

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Schuylkill Trail Bum
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81....Never let the people you are riding with, see you take a drink.....When they ask about it, tell them that water is for sissies.
81a. Never pee during or for at least an hour after a ride, no matter how long the ride is. If you do, you have had too much water. Ya big thirsty sissy.
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #157 ·

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #158 ·
83.) The life cycle...

a. I sit in my chair and watch cycling on TV.
b. I get bored with just watching cycling and buy a bike.
c. It's kinda scary riding out there in the world, so I buy a trainer.
d. Riding the trainer is boring, so I get some video apps to watch while I ride.
e. This training stuff isn't fun, it's hard work, so I get a motorized bike to assist.
f. I sit in my "chair" and watch cycling on "TV"...
 

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Discussion Starter · #159 ·
84.) I'm at an age where I welcome innovation... not because I'm enamored with the next new thing, but because I know the perfectly serviceable "old" thing will now be at least 20% off...
 

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What the what???
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Discussion Starter · #160 ·
85.) “Seat’s not level,” you say??? Maybe you need one of these...





Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
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