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Discussion Starter · #161 ·
86.) With the recent spike in interest in cycling, thefts are also on the rise. Sure, you could buy a bunch of expensive locks and sensors and doo-dads... or you could just stop by your local Army Surplus store.




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Discussion Starter · #162 ·
87.) Stuck riding in the garage? Me too. Tired of falling over all the time because you get dizzy having to ride in such a tight little circle? I hear ‘ya.

Do what I did.

1. Drill a hole in the center of your garage floor.
2. Anchor a caster, bearing or something that swivels there.
3. Tie one end of a rope to the swiveling anchor.
4. Tie the other end to the left side of your handlebars (or the right side if you hate NASCAR).
5. Then, hop on and ride.

You’ll still get dizzy as hell after a few miles, but at least you won’t crash into the trash cans anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #163 · (Edited)
88.) Each spring, in the Mid-Western region of the United States, we see the emergence of the Great Be-speckled Velocipedist (Hi-viz M.A.M.I.L.ius doofus). Having spent the cold winter months toiling away in so-called "pain caves" of their own devising, they now attempt to resume activity in the wild. But the transition is an awkward one. Those long months indoors have left the Velocipedist ill equipped and maladjusted to its new surroundings. The simplest of physical tasks: turning, balancing, as well as social skills of basic communication and etiquette prove problematic after so much time pedaling alone on a trainer in a straight line. Eventually, many Velocipedists will make the adjustment and adapt to their environment. Others, however, will not be so fortunate, falling prey to the many dangers Mother Nature has in store: high winds, peripatetic squirrels and chipmunks and, of course, the Velocipedist's mortal enemy, the White Ford Diesel (F. One Fiftius rolling coalus)...

Yeah... it's better if you imagine it being narrated by David Attenborough...
 

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Discussion Starter · #164 · (Edited)
89.) There's nothing like discovering a new (to you) bike trail to make a man suddenly feel like
Ferdinand_Magellan.jpg

Ferdinand friggin' Magellan
 

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Discussion Starter · #165 ·
90.) Hey, Park Tool has something for dealing with drivers who yell obscenities. Just go to their website and look for Park Tool FU-2…
 

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Discussion Starter · #166 · (Edited)
91.) Experienced a senior flat on my ride today. What’s a “senior flat”, you ask?

senior flat - n. stopping a bike ride to find the slow leak in your rear tire, only to discover there is no leak, you’re just old and tired.
 

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Discussion Starter · #167 ·
92.) Tired of potholes and poorly maintained MUTs? Do what I did today. Ride a gravel road. Now I’m not talking one of those smooth, crushed limestone roads, or some fire trail with hard packed dirt. I’m talking about an honest to goodness gravel road… with loose gravel… and tractor ruts… and sandy shoulders. Put in 10 miles on that bone-jarring, teeth-rattling, hell-scape and you’ll dodge those potholes on the pavement with a smile on your face and a song in your heart.
 
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