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Strained coccyx etc etc
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i heart riding said:
soo here it goes....

I'vew been in a serious relationship with this girl for 4 years. Lately i've been getting tired of the relationship and have been wanting more. I'm only 19....and i think that before i'm ready to commit to someone i wanna go out and go crazy and be with other people.So i broke up with her and have been having a good time.......but i miss her like crazy! I still talk to her and see her sometimes (she lives down the street from me). I still care alot about her and still love her....so here's my problem......I keep thinking of getting back together with her but i'm afraid that i'll hurt her again and have feelings of being single in the future (like i did). i don't want to hurt her again.....but i don't want to lose her. What do u all think i should do?? i never met someone under the same circumstances as me so any help would be appriciated
i was with the same woman (for 14 years) since i was 18. consider carefully. being "single" (unattached) has incredible merits. i got divorced almost two years ago and have been having a blast (more or less).

have fun. tell her how you feel. and have fun.

you are on this earth for a finite period. enjoy it.
 

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soo here it goes....

I'vew been in a serious relationship with this girl for 4 years. Lately i've been getting tired of the relationship and have been wanting more. I'm only 19....and i think that before i'm ready to commit to someone i wanna go out and go crazy and be with other people.So i broke up with her and have been having a good time.......but i miss her like crazy! I still talk to her and see her sometimes (she lives down the street from me). I still care alot about her and still love her....so here's my problem......I keep thinking of getting back together with her but i'm afraid that i'll hurt her again and have feelings of being single in the future (like i did). i don't want to hurt her again.....but i don't want to lose her. What do u all think i should do?? i never met someone under the same circumstances as me so any help would be appriciated
 

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Shirtcocker
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kpcw said:
My advice? Do the opposite of what J's has to say when it comes to dating.

Kidding ;)

I have nuttin' good to say on womins, I am the Grinch of Valentine's etc. Good luck.
...[in best Bruce Dickinson singing voice] Run to the hills!. Run for your life!
 

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i heart riding said:
soo here it goes....

I'vew been in a serious relationship with this girl for 4 years. Lately i've been getting tired of the relationship and have been wanting more. I'm only 19....and i think that before i'm ready to commit to someone i wanna go out and go crazy and be with other people.So i broke up with her and have been having a good time.......but i miss her like crazy! I still talk to her and see her sometimes (she lives down the street from me). I still care alot about her and still love her....so here's my problem......I keep thinking of getting back together with her but i'm afraid that i'll hurt her again and have feelings of being single in the future (like i did). i don't want to hurt her again.....but i don't want to lose her. What do u all think i should do?? i never met someone under the same circumstances as me so any help would be appriciated
What exactly were you "tired of" in your relationship? Did she have issues? or did you just want some strange?
 

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handsomerob said:
What exactly were you "tired of" in your relationship? Did she have issues? or did you just want some strange?
who cares...at 19 you deserve some strange. don't go through life wondering dude.
 

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Strained coccyx etc etc
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Discussion Starter #7
Bocephus Jones II said:
who cares...at 19 you deserve some strange. don't go through life wondering dude.
ditto Beej.

four years, get some strange.

but not too strange. or if it is, post pics.

;)
 

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Here's the problem

No matter what you do, you'll wonder.

If you leave her, you will always think about the times when you had fun with her. You'll think of her even when your moved and married.

If you stay with her, you'll always wonder.

Here's what I've found. Single life is not as good or meaningful as together life.

I've had both and while it seems good to be single and checking things out, more often than not you are doing nothing, spinning your wheels and getting nowhere worthwhile.

I'm sure others will say differently, but I remember the guys talking all this trash about how this thing or that thing was so great. My GF left for two weeks and I got to go with my firends. I'll tell you it was just a bunch of standing around and wishing.

The funny part is: When we got back to school the next Monday, they were talking like it was off the hook.

I've always found it's better to be with someone you care about, than being with people who really don't care about you or themselves that much. Just my take.

Who knows, maybe later in life you'll think about a girl who thought you were much better than you were and still wanted to be with you. COnsider that. Maybe your not that great and it's a honor to know that she wants to be with you. Humm.
 

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How about you continue to go out and otherwise be friends with her and both of you keep the options open to go out with others?

Whatever you do, don't sign up for the military.

-- Seriously.
 

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i heart riding said:
soo here it goes....

I'vew been in a serious relationship with this girl for 4 years. Lately i've been getting tired of the relationship and have been wanting more. I'm only 19....and i think that before i'm ready to commit to someone i wanna go out and go crazy and be with other people.So i broke up with her and have been having a good time.......but i miss her like crazy! I still talk to her and see her sometimes (she lives down the street from me). I still care alot about her and still love her....so here's my problem......I keep thinking of getting back together with her but i'm afraid that i'll hurt her again and have feelings of being single in the future (like i did). i don't want to hurt her again.....but i don't want to lose her. What do u all think i should do?? i never met someone under the same circumstances as me so any help would be appriciated

You are 19, if you are tired of the relationship, move on, stay friends but move on.....I spent 4 out of 5 years in college with the same chica.....one of my very few regrets in life....no need to get crazy but it IS good to figure out just what you like in a person.....
19, jeez, if I could be 19 again for just one week.......life is little more than the summation of ones experiences, limit those and you limit life......
 

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Ignore the above

just do what feels right and remember in the future that at this time you did what felt right to YOU at this time in your life

No one here knows what you know or what you feel, figure it out and do as the Boss says - "Learn to live with what you can't rise above"

GL
 

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Strained coccyx etc etc
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Discussion Starter #12
svend said:
life is little more than the summation of ones experiences, limit those and you limit life......
jeesus, i knew you were good for something.

finally.

:rolleyes:
 

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haiku d'etat said:
jeesus, i knew you were good for something.

finally.

:rolleyes:
du not make me come to TN and pick your a$$ up again.....
 

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thanks guys.....ur all helping me out!! keep em' comin.....
so far everyone.................. but a few are saying that i should not get back together
 

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as a guy who settled down at 40

I'll tell ya, there have been some truly wonderful gals I left behind, any one of a handful would have been fabulous life mates. do I regret not settling down? ah hell no. you are a kid. 19 is way too young to be locked in. maybe 20 years down the road you'll have some regrets and lok back on her as 'the one that got away'
guess what? without those 20 years of lookin' you'll never know. settle now and you'll never know if she's not. 19? ferchrissakes, here take my advice. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
do all the things you wanna do (travel,get an education, settle into a career, etc...) then think about settling down. should be in your early to mid 30's by then.
not saying don't have a girlfriend, nothing wrong with serial monogamy. I think Bakers Dozens are quite nice (13 a year)
 

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A Canadian in Sweden
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How does someone know at 19? I'm not trying to sound like your parents, but man, you are sooo young. Yes, if I too could be 19 for a while, what would I do? Go with you heart and have fun. Whatever you decide, keep things in perspective. You have a long life ahead of you. If she's still around after you've dated some other girls, and you're still in love, then go for it and try again with her. Otherwise, consider this the time to get to know yourself and what you really like in a person. And I'm not talking about what movies or food you both like. It is more meaningful than that.
Cheers, Wayne
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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You want you're cake and eat it too.

you can't have it both ways.....not fair to her, not good for you (You know you're not doing the right thing).

Here is the thing. At 19, you have absolutely no concept of time.....you've only been aware for what 14 years or so....that' nothing. Everything seems like it's the most important thing in your life. What is the life expectancy of someone who is 19 today.....85 or so? that means you still have 66 years to go.

Flip makes some good points about the benefits of being in a meaningful relationship compared to a meaningless one.....problem is, you're still only 19.......you will do more growing and learning about yourself and changing in the next 7 years than you have so far (IMO, in terms of maturing). You have much to learn. You may not be capable (nor may she) of a meaningful relationship.

So here is my advice FWIW, knowing that I don't know the first thing about you or this girl. Take it easy......it's not necessarily an all or nothing proposition.....talk to her, tell her honestly what your conflict is......tell her what you want and what you need.......Trust her to take care of herself......be honest with both yourself & her about where you are in your life......if you want to date non-exclusively, tell her......you risk that not being OK with her, but wouldn't you rather know that now?

But you have to decide for you what you need, what you want, before you talk to her......it's only fair to her......worst thing you can do is tell her one thing and feel another...that leads to resentment.

Good Luck.

Len
 

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i heart riding said:
soo here it goes....

I'vew been in a serious relationship with this girl for 4 years. Lately i've been getting tired of the relationship and have been wanting more. I'm only 19....and i think that before i'm ready to commit to someone i wanna go out and go crazy and be with other people.So i broke up with her and have been having a good time.......but i miss her like crazy! I still talk to her and see her sometimes (she lives down the street from me). I still care alot about her and still love her....so here's my problem......I keep thinking of getting back together with her but i'm afraid that i'll hurt her again and have feelings of being single in the future (like i did). i don't want to hurt her again.....but i don't want to lose her. What do u all think i should do?? i never met someone under the same circumstances as me so any help would be appriciated
Do you have any clue that she wants to get back together with you? To me, that seems like a key point. If she doesn't, there is your answer.
 

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A Canadian in Sweden
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i heart riding said:
thanks guys.....ur all helping me out!! keep em' comin.....
so far everyone.................. but a few are saying that i should not get back together
Maybe some of us are, but you have to dig deeper and find it in your heart. As Len has pointed out, you don't want to hurt her. Be fair to her and yourself. The last thing you want her to remember you as is a past love that treated her badly.
 

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i heart riding said:
thanks guys.....ur all helping me out!! keep em' comin.....
so far everyone.................. but a few are saying that i should not get back together
I'd stay in touch with her, but if I had to choose between right and left; black and white; monogamy and polyogomy, I'd choose the latter. Well, black's OK too. You're 19 and single!!! Ladies commonly go out with several different men when they aren't tied down, so can you. And so can your old flame. Is that OK with you if she dates? If so, then it oughta be OK with her for you to date too.
 
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