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eminence grease
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18,538 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have booked today and the next three afternoons from 1 until 5 PM for the sole purpose of writing performance appraisals. No, it's not the last minute - I have until roughly the end of next week.

They will be delivered to people who will be disappointed that I was unable to see their greatness in the same light that they did. Those people will then pick apart every single suggestion for personal development with tons of examples of why they are already exceeding their peers. Accompanying these will be pay letters offering 0% raises and worthless stock options.

I think I'm worthy of a hug or two. And please don't tell me this is why I get the big bucks.
 

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"El Bwana"
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4,399 Posts
I don't do performance reviews anymore. I try to model employee relations on the short story "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson.

It seems to work fine.
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
maybe you should include a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.
 

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jaded bitter joy crusher
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19,723 Posts
I pity you. My wife's been writing evaluations that will be used to decide whom to keep and whom to let go. It's no fun. The worst of it has actually not been the people who are let go, but their colleagues who remain and sometimes go around being very vocal about how unfair it was that no one saw the brilliance of the person in question.

I'd give you a big hug if my arms would fit through the series of tubes that constitute the internet.
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
Andrea138 said:
I have a saddle sore that's making me want to cry, so I have no pity left for anyone else.
diaper rash ointment.:thumbsup:
 

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Ethical Nihilist
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1,068 Posts
Not a chance. Your employees have their jobs, and you have yours. Get crackin'.
 

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still shedding season
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8,849 Posts
Any decent employee knows their employer has to find fault with them at time of review. The ones that go on and on about how they got screwed during their appraisal usually aren't the sharpest lightbulbs on the tree anyway.

Could be worse - we used to fill out our own appraisals and then compare notes with the powers that be. :crazy:
 

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banned from the museum
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6,622 Posts
Good luck. As an employee with no underlings, I hate those things. They are one of the reasons I would hate to be in management. Those, and the fact that I suck at dealing with people.
 

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Stumpcake!
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5,950 Posts
Your company should do like mine and make them do self evaluations. :thumbsup:

Hope it goes quickly for you and best of luck.

/Evaluations always remind me of that Newsradio episode where all the employees but two got a small raise. One of the two got the "Big Bonus" and the other got "The Shaft" as in no bonus. Funny stuff.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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22,021 Posts
I let my employees do them.......and ask them to defend them.

It's amazing how close most of them are....the one's that aren't, usually are the problems in either case.

len
 

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Grey Manrod
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9,227 Posts
I just fished my last annual review today. I did the written evaluations a month ago.

I propose the following axiom: those who do not want to debate their evaluation, do not need to be evaluated.
 

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eminence grease
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18,538 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Len J said:
I let my employees do them.......and ask them to defend them.

It's amazing how close most of them are....the one's that aren't, usually are the problems in either case.

len
Oh, my people write theirs too - I'm not ad-libbing all this stuff. But since my signature goes on them they require a full re-write prior to submission to the next level just to bring them up to a quality of language and grammar that I am willing to put my name to.

You know though, it isn't hard for someone to defend their input when they start the process with a note that says, "I pretty much think I fall between exceeding expectations and outstanding this year." Some people love themselves in a way that is vastly out of touch with the reality of their contribution.

Makes for some fun conversations, disappointments and hard feelings. On both sides of the table.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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22,021 Posts
terry b said:
Oh, my people write theirs too - I'm not ad-libbing all this stuff. But since my signature goes on them they require a full re-write prior to submission to the next level just to bring them up to a quality of language and grammar that I am willing to put my name to.

You know though, it isn't hard for someone to defend their input when they start the process with a note that says, "I pretty much think I fall between exceeding expectations and outstanding this year." Some people love themselves in a way that is vastly out of touch with the reality of their contribution.

Makes for some fun conversations, disappointments and hard feelings. On both sides of the table.
It's interesting, I can't remember the last review I've done where the person was in the least bit surprised by anything I went through.........In the end, I'm satisfied with that.

BTW, I agree about the writing re-do.

Len
 

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Banned
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6,360 Posts
Shoot, just do what my boss used to do.

terry b said:
I have booked today and the next three afternoons from 1 until 5 PM for the sole purpose of writing performance appraisals..... please don't tell me this is why I get the big bucks.
That's why you get the big bucks. But if you don't want to earn them, do what my boss used to do: Randomize them.
I wondered for years what my company based performance reviews on--they just didn't make any sense. Then over four years I won the Best of (insert massive national company) Award in years one and four and was put on double-secret probation in year three for showing insufficient respect to a supervisor. All four years I was named Best Newspaper Columnist in reader polls both at my own newspaper and at the competing paper, for which I'd never written.
Over the four years, my performance ratings were identical (3+ on a 4-point system), and my raise was the company standard that everybody got. And that's when I started mailing it in....
 

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eminence grease
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18,538 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Mine are rarely surprised about the content - what they're looking at exclusively is the compensation and their Rank and Rating within their peer group.

Money this year is simple - there isn't any.

Ranking and Rating is another story - most are okay with it as long as it's "Successful" and a negative performance message would never come as a surprise (I'm king of all year performance management). The problem stems from people who think they've shot the moon relative to their peers when in my mind they've done an adequate job. One year I had a rebellion among a group of RCGs (recent college grads) who thought they should all be Outstanding based solely on coming to work and doing their jobs. In their first year out of school no less. This year I have a character or two who have told me in advance that they're wonderful, and their assessment on that one small vector is out of line with mine. That's where the fun is going to be.
 
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