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Press Conference from TDF Director Leblanc: "TDF Cancelled!!" 06/30/06

Press Releases

06/30/06


TDF Dirctor Press Conference



By ANDREW SELSKY
Associated Press Writer


Paris, France(AP)

Today during the customary press conference Director Jean-Marie Leblanc stated, "You know what, this drug stuff just sucks, I'm cancelling the whole tour. I mean really, this is total bull crap."

This was a bit of a surprising throw in the towell admission by Leblanc. "I'm just tired of trying to babysit these guys and having to keep suspending everyone. It's like no one is listening. If you are going to be doing this stuff, make sure no one can find out." Leblanc stated. "We are just going to give Lance Armstrong another victory, so he will have eight now."

Armstrong responded from his private jet, "Kick Ass".

A few more reporters asked questions about Ivan Basso and others who were being suspended and he kept giving the same response, "Who cares" while rolling his eyes.

He was also asked what the networks and advertisers were going to do with all of the scheduled programming, "We have commissioned many of the podium girls to do little skits, some will be in lingerie and having pillow fights, others may be just standing around. We really haven't made any other decesions, I personally like the pillow fights" Leblanc stated.

I was finally allowed to ask a question that I felt would interest more of the American audience of the Tour, I asked "Do cyclists really shave their legs? And if so, I mean, what difference does that make?" Leblanc refused to answer the question. I have decided to investigate the matter further as I feel he may be covering up something.

The Tour De France will begin Sunday with a really short race where the riders wear funny helmets for some reason and ride by themselves around the block on funny looking bikes. Weird.

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