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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The revival of the Bad Jokes thread gave me this (possibly very bad) idea. Post just the punch line of jokes you like, the more obscure the better. Responders may fill in the rest of the joke, or make something up, or whatever.

Here are two long-running favorites from the Prairie Home Companion joke shows:


"How do you know I'm not?"


"Got any grapes?"
 

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"Got any grapes?"
A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?". To which he is told, "No." The next day the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?". To which he is told, "Once again no." The day after that the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?", and the clerk says, "If you ask that one more time, I'm gonna staple your feet to the floor." The duck asks, "Where do you keep your staples?", and the clerk replies, "Right now I'm fresh out." The duck says, "Okay then. Got any grapes?"


My punchline: "No, that's just a little ice cream."
 

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"Ok, he's dead. Now what?"
Two hunters are in the woods when one gets bitten by a venomous snake. The hunter falls unconscious, so his buddy calls 9-1-1 and says, "Help! My friend got bitten by a snake, and I think it killed him!" The dispatcher says, "All right, first make sure he is actually dead."

*BANG*

"Okay. Now what?"
 

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My punchline: "No, that's just a little ice cream."
I'm too lazy to type out the whole joke but I'm guessing that punchline was spoken by a penguin and immediately preceded by a mechanic saying "Looks like you blew a seal".
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?". To which he is told, "No." The next day the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?". To which he is told, "Once again no." The day after that the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?", and the clerk says, "If you ask that one more time, I'm gonna staple your feet to the floor." The duck asks, "Where do you keep your staples?", and the clerk replies, "Right now I'm fresh out." The duck says, "Okay then. Got any grapes?"
The variation I know is in a bar, and the bartender threatens to nail the duck's bill to the bar. In the final installment the duck asks, "got any nails?" and when the answer is no, . . .
 

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F**K YOU, CLOWN!!!

Shorty's Bar and Grill Albuquerque, New Mexico

I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time...
 

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'Because he's my newt !" :7:
 

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Followed by Batman


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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