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hey all you fashion-wise-bordering-on-metro roadies (okay, maybe not that extreme)

Being the resident super roadie on my MTB team, I always get poked fun at because of my seemingly off-the-wall methods of maintaining my integrity as a roadie. (Wow what a horrible sentence). Anyway, my coach wants me to compile a list of what and what not to do or wear in order to be a true roadie. We're updating our team website with some more interesting content. The tips can be super specific and or really general, as long as they have some humor. I'm having a hard time thinking of some because they usually only pop into my head as a result of whatever situation I'm in.

all that equals: Post your top roadie fashion tips.

Thanks a lot.

P.S. PICS WOULD BE AWESOME!
 

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sgt_hedgehog said:
P.S. PICS WOULD BE AWESOME!
No! Don’t ask that. Somebody will post that awful red skin suit picture or the pix of the colored tights.
 

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A "True" Roadie would use a CX bike whenever their "friends" wanted to Mountain bike.
A "True Roadie would never belong to a MTB team.
Even though a Roadie might ride a MTN bike in the winter, their number 1 bike would always be a road bike.
A "True" Roadie never wears baggy shorts or jersey.
A "True" Roadie's road rash tends tends to just have bits of asphalt in it.
Needless to say, a "True" Roadie never wears a helmet with a visor on it.
I could go on and on, but there are some secrets that only roadies can be told. If I pass them on to the "wrong" people, it could mean my demise......Sorry.
 

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Misfit Toy
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Underwear goes on your head.
 

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Biege is the new black. Fluoro lycra is OUT with a capital OUT.

Apparently long socks are in this season. The longer the better. Preferably up to the knee. Past the knee is too far.

Wool has made a major comeback after so many years in the wilderness. Not that super fine merino rubbish that wicks moisture away but the really harsh stuff that's super scratchy and is as hot as hades.

Pockets are out, spare tyres are to be worn looped across the chest - the more the better. A serious cyclist has at least two, preferably three; four just looks silly and makes it difficult to reach the drops.

Extra large flat caps worn backwards have also been seen on some of the snappier cyclists around Paris - I believe this will become derigueur for all roadies next season.

I also predict cycling clips will make a come back to keep your wool socks up.

Hope this helps - happy cycling.
 

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No facial hair unless you are VdB or Pantani and of course no leg hair.
No shoes that you can walk comfortably or safely in.
A real roadie should be under 10% body fat at all times, 16% for women (that actually eliminates most roadies in the US but it's still true).
No "club fit" clothing of any kind (see above body fat criteria). If it ain't skin tight it just ain't right, and that goes double for chicks.
Did I mention you have to be a real egotistical dick too?
 

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jaded bitter joy crusher
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This jersey is the bomb.


For riding in the evening or after dark, roadies must wear this:
 

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OP, this should have been posted in the Lounge.

i remember from back in the oncet-a-week-in-summer-leg-shaving-post, someone (grumpy? grzmnky? who???) recommended shaving the legs but leaving a "hair foil" on the backs of the calves. i grew mine long enough to braid, but since it was really more of a double-mohawk, i died them green and orange (left/right), and used egg whites and coooool-aid to keep them "vertically stiff yet laterally compliant".

hth!

-Teh J's
 

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A true roadie needs a diaper in case a dog like this chases him and he wets himself. :D
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Gratuitous Puppy Photos!!!

What is it with the cute puppy photos? I thought this was a cycling forum? They have been popping up all over the site - puppies in 'The Lounge', puppies in 'General Discussion'. Bad puppies!

According to threads on the lounge, after hours roadie footwear includes these casual slip on puppies...

The only comment I would offer to improve this image for the fashion conscious metro-sexual roadie is nail polish... something subtle - perhaps in T.Mobile Magenta?
 
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