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Scary Teddy Bear
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14,791 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We always hear "The rules" from the female side, Now here are the rules from the Male side.

These are our rules:

>Please note, these are all labeled number "1" on purpose.

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>Breasts are for looking at, and this is why we do it, don't try to change that.

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>You're a big girl, learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down, you don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

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>Saturday=Sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides, leave it be.

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>Shopping is NOT a sport, and NO, we are not ever going to think of it that way.

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>Crying is Blackmail

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>Ask for what you want, Let us be clear on this one
>Subtle hints DO NOT WORK!
>Strong hints DO NOT WORK!
>Obvious hints DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!!!

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>"Yes" and "No", are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every questions.

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>Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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>A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, see a Doctor.

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>Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument, In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

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>If you think you are fat, you probably are, don't ask us.

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>If something we said can be interpreted two different ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

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>You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done, NOT both.
>If you already know how best to do something, DO IT YOURSELF.

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>Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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>Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

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>ALL men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings
>Peach for example is a fruit, not a color, Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>WE have NO idea what mauve is.

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>If it itches, it will be scratched, we do that.

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>If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong, we know you are lying, but it just isn't worth the hassle.

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>If you ask a question, you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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>When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, REALLY.

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>Don't ask us what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as:
>Sex
>Sports
>Cars

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>You have enough clothes

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>You have too many shoes.

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>I am in shape, round is a shape.

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>Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know that I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but you know, men really don't mind that, it's sorta like camping.

Enjoy.
 

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$4000 bike - two bit legs
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1,433 Posts
#1 is my favorite

OK, OK...the one about "hints". I don't get hints. As a man, I see things in black and white. Logic, Mr. Spock, just the logic. Just tell me what you want. I hate having to guess 'cause I'm usually wrong.
 

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PaulCL said:
OK, OK...the one about "hints". I don't get hints. As a man, I see things in black and white. Logic, Mr. Spock, just the logic. Just tell me what you want. I hate having to guess 'cause I'm usually wrong.
And my wife chided me about stating that I wanted a new bike as obviously as I did.:confused:

Hope you had a good ride down here, sorry I did not make it, but was digging trenches for footers for an addition to my house (call it a trade for the bike)
 

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$4000 bike - two bit legs
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1,433 Posts
OK...#1 is pretty good too!

lousylegs said:
And my wife chided me about stating that I wanted a new bike as obviously as I did.:confused:

Hope you had a good ride down here, sorry I did not make it, but was digging trenches for footers for an addition to my house (call it a trade for the bike)
We had a good ride. I ended up doing about 58 miles. Nice, casual ride through the hills and hollers of the Louisville area. I was joined (and escorted by) Mike502 met off of RBR. I think Mike wanted to show me every steep hill in your area. He mentioned that friends would think he's nuts for riding Sleepy Hollow out and back???? Join us next time.
 

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PaulCL said:
We had a good ride. I ended up doing about 58 miles. Nice, casual ride through the hills and hollers of the Louisville area. I was joined (and escorted by) Mike502 met off of RBR. I think Mike wanted to show me every steep hill in your area. He mentioned that friends would think he's nuts for riding Sleepy Hollow out and back???? Join us next time.
well, I will try, got to get my new bike built up (when the frame comes). You should try S. Indiana. I found the hills over here are a lot tougher than Sleepy Hollow.

but, then again, they are nothing compared to some of the hills I have seen in the Cincy area.
 

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Sticky Valentine
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28,404 Posts
I can totally identify with the "Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for." I'd swear that most women don't want their problems fixed... if they were fixed, they wouldn't have anything to whine about.

/pig rant



joe
 

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Beetpull DeLite
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lousylegs said:
You should try S. Indiana. I found the hills over here are a lot tougher than Sleepy Hollow.
Hey Paul, do you ever ride with the Cincy Cycling Club? They have their Great Ghost Ride Ramble over in St. Leon, IN each October. I went this past year - what a gorgeous ride.
 

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$4000 bike - two bit legs
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Ccc

GirchyGirchy said:
Hey Paul, do you ever ride with the Cincy Cycling Club? They have their Great Ghost Ride Ramble over in St. Leon, IN each October. I went this past year - what a gorgeous ride.
I am a member of the CCC, but not very active. I've done that ride several times...in the rain or high winds or once in a snow storm. It is a gorgeous ride, great scenery when the weather participates. I used to lead an early Sunday morning CCC 75-90 mile ride for a couple of years, but organizing it and dealing with late or unprepared riders became too much of a hassle. I probably should get more involved with my local club again.

If you like that ride, you should join the Northern KY Cluster of the CCC for the Fall Foliage ride the end of September. 107 miles of ...well...fall foliage...and hills, lots of hills, about 7000 ft of climbing hills.
 

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Beetpull DeLite
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PaulCL said:
If you like that ride, you should join the Northern KY Cluster of the CCC for the Fall Foliage ride the end of September. 107 miles of ...well...fall foliage...and hills, lots of hills, about 7000 ft of climbing hills.
Sounds good - I'm sure my buddy in Cincy will let me know. He's doing their ride this weekend and another in May, neither of which I'll be able to attend, but I'll be on the lookout for other rides. Is the FF ride announced on their website?
 

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there is a great documentary

called "The differences in Male / Female Communication" and the study is on little kids to avoid as much 'nurture' in behavior as possible. They have hidden cameras set up a bunch of toys, a couple chairs and then send in kids.
The boys put the chairs side be side, not much eye contact and little discussion.
The girls sat face to face usually touching hands and talked to each other.

Ya ever notice 2 guy friends who haven't seen each other in years can get together, watch a sporting event, have little chit chat and then say "was great to see you again"?
Sharing oxygen, proximity can be enough for us.

Same goes for problems. Men don't ask other men unless they want a solution they can't figure out. Women just want empathy and sympathy, my advice when she tells you one of these stories, search the memory banks for anything in your experience that resembles it and say "Oh yeah,I had something like that...." and ramble, but not enough that it becomes 'about you'.Lots of "I understand (whether you do or not)" help.

yes in multiple cases women ask questions that they don't want the answer to. my best advice is change the subject or run away screaming.

Toilet seats, ah yes. "I'm happy to put it down for you as long as you then admit you are the weaker sex" pretty much settles it. If it doesn't use the drunk at 3 AM parable.

courtesy of me

It's 3AM and we've been drinking and we're asleep. I wake up to take a pee, the seat is up
I pee and go back to sleep. You get up after and sit down, your a$$ gets wet. End result, I'm asleep and you have a wet backside.
It's 3AM and we've been drinking and we're asleep. I wake up to take a pee, the seat is down
I pee on the seat and go back to sleep. You get up after and sit down, your a$$ gets wet. End result, I'm asleep and you have a wet backside.

either way I'm asleep and you've got a wet backside so maybe it is in your interest to check where the lid is.
 

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Too true!

I can't believe how many years it took me to learn that my ex wife would explain problems to me in great detail that she didn't want me to "solve." And all those years, I'd expend mental energy trying to develop solutions to problems that she wasn't trying to, or perhaps even interested in, solving. At long last I learned to say, "you just want me to listen to this, don't you?"

Like being afraid of the dark, I wonder what other male/female relationship screw-up anomolies are there that I haven't learned about that are still waiting to trip me up?
 

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find that video

it was done by a group of psychologists.It shows all the things we encounter as adults are present in us as kids. We're just wired differently and it most likely goes back to certain evolutuionary mechanisms.
 

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$4000 bike - two bit legs
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Fall Foliage

GirchyGirchy said:
Sounds good - I'm sure my buddy in Cincy will let me know. He's doing their ride this weekend and another in May, neither of which I'll be able to attend, but I'll be on the lookout for other rides. Is the FF ride announced on their website?
Yes, it's on the website but it isn't a CCC sponsored ride. It's put together by one couple in KY who organize all the logistics. They often ask for donations of food, drink, etc...to have at the rest stops. It should be up on the webpage by mid August.
 

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it's all true

....it's all true! nice work!

we should print like a hundred billion thousand million copies and drop em from airplanes over metrapolian areas.........so every woman can under stand the rules.........
 
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