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Squirrel Hunter
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3,806 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife (who is younger than me) could hardly wait for me to arrive home last night so she could show me my Personal Mobility Assessment from The SCOOTER Store. Note that the questionare is in a larger font for my older eyes. If you answer "Yes" to any of these quesions you should call an expert Mobility Consultant to discuss your needs.

1) Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends?

Yes so many of them are too lazy to go out and do intervals.

2) Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility?

Yes after a race I can barely move my legs. It is all I can do to drive home and get to the couch.

3) Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal?

Yes after a hard ride I can barely get off the couch to get a beer, there is no way I can prepare a meal.

4) Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own?

Yes none of my riding partners will give me a push so I can pee while on the bike because my wiener is too short and I end up spraying pee all over. Soon they will harvest the corn and I will have to try and make it to the 7-11 to do the slippery cleat dance to the restroom.

5) Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day?

Yes the fashion decision on which jersey to wear each day is simply mentally overwhelming. Then there is the whole bib strap over/under issue.

6) Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home?

Yes with my skinny cycling arms and upper body I can barely turn the handlebars on my bike, much less spin around a set of Zipp wheelchair wheels.

7) Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility?

Yes my club mates are always complaining that I never take my pulls up front and when I do they are too short.

8) Have you fallen in the past 12 months?

Yes went Asphalt Surfing when some moron hooked my wheel becasue he could not ride in a straight line.

Since they gave me a VIP number and I got a perfect score on the Personal Mobility Assessment I will soon be showing up at club rides on my shiny new scooter. Wonder if I need to wear a helmet?

 

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Premium Member
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11,955 Posts
Keeping up with Junior said:
Since they gave me a VIP number and I got a perfect score on the Personal Mobility Assessment I will soon be showing up at club rides on my shiny new scooter. Wonder if I need to wear a helmet?
seats too low. HTH

very funny! I hope you sent that in :thumbsup:
 

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Seat's not level
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19,371 Posts
tconrady said:
Can you get flames painted on the side of it?
Flame decals / stickers.

Loved the responses to the questionaire
 

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Moderatus Puisne
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15,883 Posts
Sometimes

after a long ride, if I make the mistake of falling asleep on the couch before eating, when I wake up I'll be totally disoriented and unable to remember where I am, or what I need to do.

I doubt I would be able to prepare myself a meal.

I have successfully gotten out a bowl, filled it with cold cereal, but that bowl in the refridgerator, and walked away.
 
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