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Windrider (Stubborn)
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Those of you that have been following my posts for a while know that my youngest son (who is now 25) had serious problems with Alcohol & drugs and has been in recovery. Last week he celebrated his 5th anniversary clean & sober & I couldn't be prouder of what he's done, how he has done it & who he has become.

He is and has always been one of my favorite souls......gentle, caring, empathetic & someone that has that rare ability to make everyone around him more relaxed.

I was on the phone with him last night talking about how far he has come and he said something that he has never believed before that made me realize once again how grateful I am for his recovery. He told me that he really likes who he has become.....and meant it. Breakthrough moment.

Those of us who know him have seen what he is finally seeing in himself his whole life....for him to finally see it and accept it is the ultimate for me.

Damnm, I was beaming when I got off the phone.

Len
 

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corning my own beef
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That's great to hear, Len.
 

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Stumpcake!
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5,950 Posts
That's awesome Len! It's so cool to hear things like this especially where there's so much negativity everywhere you turn these days....or so it seems. It constantly blows me away how my kids can make me feel so proud. Mine are very small compared to this.
 

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still shedding season
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Way too much doom and gloom out there - thanks for sharing the good stuff, and congrats!
 

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Jerkhard Sirdribbledick
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Len, your post gave me the chills. I'm so happy for you and your son. Thanks for sharing.
 

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Glue Sniffer
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Len J said:
Last week he celebrated his 5th anniversary clean & sober...
My baby addled mine somehow skipped over the "he's 25" and translated "anniversary" as "birthday."

Now that I am fully aware that you don't have a five year old former drunk, I extend my greatest congratulations. We've all got our vices. Sometimes they get out of control, and sometimes we get them back under control.

Again, congrats.
 

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Sharp
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1,695 Posts
Len J said:
...... He is and has always been one of my favorite souls......gentle, caring, empathetic & someone that has that rare ability to make everyone around him more relaxed....
Len
Sounds like he's taking after his dad. :)

Truly wonderful news Len, enjoy, you have every reason to be proud.
 

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jaded bitter joy crusher
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19,723 Posts
That's excellent, Len.

My stepson, 27, who's got some serious alcohol and drug problems has used the occasion of his impending fatherhood to drop a lot of his defensiveness and acknowledge he's got some serious problems. He's not going to join a 12-step program and I know better than to argue with him about that, but he's started seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist who specializes in substance abuse problems, and is suddenly more open and less defensive when his mom and I suggest ways he could manage his life better.

For a very long time he's had something of a paranoid outlook---thinking people are out to get him or to see a slight or an insult in every remark and now he's actually reasonable and pleasant to talk to.

Hearing your story is great for me because it helps me look ahead hopefully at the prospect that kids really can clean themselves up. Thanks for sharing the good news with us.

If you want the right word to describe your state of mind, it's "kvelling" Most dictionaries define this with a sense of beaming with pride, but it's not boastful so much as when your eyes water and you get a catch in your throat because you're so happy at how your offspring are doing.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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22,021 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Fredke said:
That's excellent, Len.

My stepson, 27, who's got some serious alcohol and drug problems has used the occasion of his impending fatherhood to drop a lot of his defensiveness and acknowledge he's got some serious problems. He's not going to join a 12-step program and I know better than to argue with him about that, but he's started seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist who specializes in substance abuse problems, and is suddenly more open and less defensive when his mom and I suggest ways he could manage his life better.

For a very long time he's had something of a paranoid outlook---thinking people are out to get him or to see a slight or an insult in every remark and now he's actually reasonable and pleasant to talk to.

Hearing your story is great for me because it helps me look ahead hopefully at the prospect that kids really can clean themselves up. Thanks for sharing the good news with us.

If you want the right word to describe your state of mind, it's "kvelling" Most dictionaries define this with a sense of beaming with pride, but it's not boastful so much as when your eyes water and you get a catch in your throat because you're so happy at how your offspring are doing.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife & your son.

Watching someone you care about headed for a trainwreck is the hardest thing I've ever been through. Finding that balance between enabling, setting good boundries and demonstrating consistant love of your child while not accepting the bad behaviors and not beating yourself up all at the same time is exausting.

Keep that caring lifeline out to him....he needs good examples of love. He has to learn to forgive himself.

Wishing him peace.

len
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
orbit said:
Sounds like he's taking after his dad. :)

Truly wonderful news Len, enjoy, you have every reason to be proud.
As someone that does not take compliments well (but keeps being told he needs to) I'll just say ......:blush2:

Thanks

len
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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Discussion Starter · #12 · (Edited)
Thanks all for making this a safe enough place to share something like this.......it was busting out!

Len
 

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Shirtcocker
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60,639 Posts
Len J said:
Thanks all for making this a safe enough place to share something like this.......it was busing out!

Len
You have every right to be proud...5 years is a long time. I really admire those that can turn it around.
 

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2 busy workin' 2 hang out
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Len J said:
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife & your son.

Watching someone you care about headed for a trainwreck is the hardest thing I've ever been through. Finding that balance between enabling, setting good boundries and demonstrating consistant love of your child while not accepting the bad behaviors and not beating yourself up all at the same time is exausting.

Keep that caring lifeline out to him....he needs good examples of love. He has to learn to forgive himself.

Wishing him peace.

len
Yep, it hurts like no other. 17 months since I lost my friend who didn't win his battle. Glad it looks like your son is winning his.
 

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Registered
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That is really great to hear. My older brother had addiction problems for years, until the whole family did an intervention. He has been clean now for 15 years, and it has made a world of difference. He is such a great guy now that it's hard to believe he ever had such problems.
 

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tofurkey hunting
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great news, len.

score one for the good guys!!!

//loves hearing the good news
 

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Captain Obvious
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Len J said:
He told me that he really likes who he has become.....and meant it. Breakthrough moment.
sounds like the best motivation to keep him on track.
 

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Lemur-ing
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Made me smile. Thanks. And, congratulations on the success he's had.

Here's to more years of sobriety and becoming a better man.
 

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n00bsauce
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Don't you just wish you had been with him when he said it so you could have given him a huge hug and looked in his eyes? It's the one thing I regret about being separated from my children by too much distance. Phone, emails, texting, etc. just isn't enough sometimes. Congrats to your son and your family. This is wonderful.
 
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