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Misfit Toy
Joined
·
23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your [email protected]
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my b00b in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor b00b was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless t i t!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
Joined
·
22,021 Posts
Lol......

how did I know that this was going to end up being a man's fault?

LOL

Len
 

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Resident Dutchbag
Joined
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11,864 Posts
lousylegs said:
Snap, good to see, another year older and feisty as ever.

ps - was this 54 or 55?:p
Well she WAS talking about retiring, so...;)
 

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Misfit Toy
Joined
·
23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter #5 (Edited)
lousylegs said:
Snap, good to see, another year older and feisty as ever.

ps - was this 54 or 55?:p
Bite me!:p

I must get used to saying this.....chronologically I'm 49. :eek: :eek: :eek: Cough, cough, gag.......
 

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Banned
Joined
·
7,890 Posts
snapdragen said:
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your [email protected]
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my b00b in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor b00b was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless t i t!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
YES.. YES.. YES...
 

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Resident Dutchbag
Joined
·
11,864 Posts
snapdragen said:
chronologically I'm 49.

Ahh, you're still a young goddess.

















Next year however.... :D
 

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Misfit Toy
Joined
·
23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
lousylegs said:
Damn straight! Chloe had 4 puppies 6 years ago......:p
 

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Soon to be banned
Joined
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14,475 Posts
Yeah, but at least you don't have to get a prostate exam! :eek: :eek: :eek:
 

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Misfit Toy
Joined
·
23,426 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
spyderman said:
Yeah, but at least you don't have to get a prostate exam! :eek: :eek: :eek:
Betcha it doesn't compare to a mamogram......:eek:
 
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