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"The Theory of BIG
or, How to claim your space on the road

by David Martin

From our earliest days we have been indoctrinated by this nation's pathological love affair with the motor car. As a hangover of the class system of antiquity, we, the unfortunate possessors of a healthy mind and body, are bombarded daily with the mistaken view that roads are for cars. Driven, sometimes literally, off the roads by our fellow citizens in steel boxes, we begin to realise that never before in history have so many been subject to so much machinery. And it's not just using the cars that is a problem. Without the resources to house their cherished possessions properly, our social betters see fit to leave the stabling of their salary sucker to be a stumbling block for the rest of us, whether it be on the pavement or on the queens highway..."

"...BIG isn't about how large you are but about how large you seem. The rules of BIG are very simple. Be visible. Be noticed. Be in the way. Be expensive. The more BIG you have, the more space needs to be left. Ever seen a car brush past a moving, wobbly, deferential Baldrick-on-a-bike with a scant hands breadth to spare, only to leave room for a double-decker bus to pass between it and the most definitely not wobbling all over the road skip further down the road? BIGger things need a BIGger distance left when you pass them..."
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