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a jumped up pantry boy
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it happens about once a year. ill be driving to school and see something totally gross on the freeway. sometimes its creepy (obvious dead person just laying there) and sometimes its so gross you dont even know what it is, like yesterday.

so im on my way to school when i see this big red mess up ahead of me. as i get closer i see these huge chunks of meat (like as big as my head) that seem to have been ripped off of whoever they used to belong too. im pretty sure they were ripped off becuase they still had bones and crap sticking out of them. up ahead everyone is swerving into the emergency lane and i cant tell why. once im in the service lane and chance a glance i realize why. there are intestines all over the 2 slowest lanes. now, im not a big dude, but these intestines were still compact (instead of being strung out) and were easily as big as my torso. my best guess is that a cow or really big goat got onto the freeway and got hit by a semi or something. there were no limbs and no head, so i couldnt really tell you what it was for sure, but it was way too big to be a dog. hopefully it wasnt a person, cuz thats a pretty crappy way to go.
 

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Alex-in-Evanston said:
I hope it wasn't a dog.

Oh yeah I've seen lots of that type of dog carnage on the roads here in LA. Since I moved here 18 months ago I've seen more disturbing sh!t on the roads than I've seen in a lifetime.
 

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lousylegs said:
yeah, sounds like when deer get hit by Semi, they just kind of explode like squirrels and M80s combined.

Probably not in LA tough... it depends on which freeway yarble was on. I've only seen a few deer here so far.
 

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Gronk SMASH!
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I've lived here my whole life, and I don't even really notice these things any more. I would have driven by it, getting mildly angry at anyone who was slowing to look at it, and proceeded back up to ~80 mph without even thinking to estimate what brand of meat it was. I don't care what happens on the freeway as long as the traffic flows around it properly. Sadly, that never happens. A car could be jacked up on the side of the road with some guy changing a tire, and the entire freeway comes to a near-complete stop so lookie-loos can appraise what's going on. God help us if there's an actual accident. It turns into the R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts" video. Gah! Don't get me started
 

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Fini les ecrase-"manets"!
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jptaylorsg said:
I've lived here my whole life, and I don't even really notice these things any more. I would have driven by it, getting mildly angry at anyone who was slowing to look at it, and proceeded back up to ~80 mph without even thinking to estimate what brand of meat it was. I don't care what happens on the freeway as long as the traffic flows around it properly. Sadly, that never happens. A car could be jacked up on the side of the road with some guy changing a tire, and the entire freeway comes to a near-complete stop so lookie-loos can appraise what's going on. God help us if there's an actual accident. It turns into the R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts" video. Gah! Don't get me started
Spectator Delay. Frigging rubberneckers.
 

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never saw anything too exciting. There's the occasional couch/lazyboy and stuff like that. Once I saw a meat truck that said "Rick's Meats : You Can't Beat our Meat!" another time I saw a couple pimped out hearses driving side by side and kind of drag racing and spitting out sparks from their tailpipes. The one closest to me had a casket with someone inside. The lid opened up automatically. Those guys were just out having a good time entertaining people. I believe I saw Arnold in a hummer one time.
 

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My back hurts
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I saw a roadside dead guy about two years ago when I was riding in Woodland Hills. This guy was near a dumpster by the side of the road and had been stabbed or shot in the stomach: blood was everywhere. The cops had just arrived and it appeared to be a fairly recent death.

Instead of dead people, I see loads of dead deer up here. Those taken out on major roads and highways are usually picked up by Caltrans or the county within a day or two. Those hit on backroads stay there until they rot and become part of the landscape. I still see the bones of a deer that got whacked last March on Hog Canyon. I've also seen roadkill hawks, buzzards, possums, jackrabbits, and coyotes.
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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I remember driving through Wisconsin, a few years ago, when I saw the back half of a deer on the side of the road. Two miles later, the front half was on the side. Either the front half ran for two miles, or a semi carried the front half for two miles before it fell off.
 

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Fini les ecrase-"manets"!
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rocco said:
They call them gapers in Chicago.
I think that's a porn term, man. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT do an image search on this word.

Wait. That one's OK. Don't GIS on gaping, though. Ick.
 

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Genitive Declensioner
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yarble said:
it happens about once a year.

Best LA freeway experience was many moons ago on our way to UCLA for a track meet.
Sunny day, on the 405, conv. Mustang pulls up along side of us. Two extremely hot chicas were topless. We almost tagged the car in front.......wish that happened even once a year....
 

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I did a yahoo search

gapers:

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gapers porn:

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svend said:
Best LA freeway experience was many moons ago on our way to UCLA for a track meet.
Sunny day, on the 405, conv. Mustang pulls up along side of us. Two extremely hot chicas were topless. We almost tagged the car in front.......wish that happened even once a year....

I'd hit that!
 

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MR_GRUMPY said:
I remember driving through Wisconsin, a few years ago, when I saw the back half of a deer on the side of the road. Two miles later, the front half was on the side. Either the front half ran for two miles, or a semi carried the front half for two miles before it fell off.

Oh yeah... I spend tons of time in Wisco. because the wife is from Lake Geneva and etc. That typical Wisco. The brother-in-law totaled a Taurus when he center punched a deer up there a couple of years ago.
 
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