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Adventure Seeker
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5,115 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today, my daughter came home to me. The feelings are bittersweet. Her mother started what I expected her to do: use scare tactics and treat my daughter like $4it. At first today, she said she would not let my daughter leave, saying that she has custody and that she has to go. However, I did inform my daughter that under Texas law, past the age of 12, she can decide and the courts will decide. So, my daughter stood firm, and she finally came along. My ex did something that hurt my daughter terribly. When she left, my ex just ignored her. Didn't say "bye", "I love you" or anything.
I have never spoken bad about her mother, regardless of the things she's done. I did tell my daughter that her mother loves her, and that she's just angry.
At least I can now get a modification easily. She didn't give her or me a new address. I do plan on supporting their relationship, unlike she did for us. Hopefully this will work out, as I don't want my daughter hurt over all of this. I've never asked her to choose sides, because that's just wrong.
 

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RoadBikeReview's Member
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5,505 Posts
It sounds like everything turned out for the best. Just make sure that your daughter stays in contact with her mom, else she'll regret it later in life. But, it sounds like that's a big priority for you, I'd say she's in good hands :)
 

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Bacon!
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9,190 Posts
Your daughter will truely benefit by you being the stronger, and more loving parent in all this. The last thing she needs is hearing a bunch of trash about her mom. You're doing the right thing.
 

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Shirtcocker
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60,639 Posts
Ridgetop said:
Your daughter will truely benefit by you being the stronger, and more loving parent in all this. The last thing she needs is hearing a bunch of trash about her mom. You're doing the right thing.
+1, but prepare for some rough emotional times ahead for the daughter. That's tough stuff for a kid to process.
 

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Dimples
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351 Posts
Peanya said:
My ex did something that hurt my daughter terribly. When she left, my ex just ignored her. Didn't say "bye", "I love you" or anything.
I have never spoken bad about her mother, regardless of the things she's done. I did tell my daughter that her mother loves her, and that she's just angry.
That is incredibly sad to me. I'm sure your ex loves your daughter more than anything, but it's extremely unfortunate that the ex has to do something so hurtful to your daughter because she's ultimately upset with you. It's sad to see kids get tangled up in their parents' problems.
 

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Adventure Seeker
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5,115 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
speedyg55 said:
That is incredibly sad to me. I'm sure your ex loves your daughter more than anything, but it's extremely unfortunate that the ex has to do something so hurtful to your daughter because she's ultimately upset with you. It's sad to see kids get tangled up in their parents' problems.
That it is, she could have been mature about it, saving lots of damage. What I can't fully figure out is why she's so bitter against me. It wasn't me that decided to sow my wild oats after getting married and having a baby. She was committed to the relationship before the wedding and baby... Maybe being raised in a muslim household, not being able to date, while all her friends around her got to had something to do with it.
 

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Just Plain Bitter
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8,602 Posts
It is hard to take the right path as you have done. stay strong for your daughter and all will be well.
 

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Cheese is my copilot
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3,876 Posts
Peanya said:
That it is, she could have been mature about it, saving lots of damage. What I can't fully figure out is why she's so bitter against me. .
You stand between her and what she wants. Which is to live her own life with her daughter. The fact that its your daughter too is largely immaterial in her mind. At least thats how it worked when I went through this.
 

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Canon Fodder
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686 Posts
I hear ya, My ex is passive aggressive and plays mind games with my htree kids. The two older ones 16 and 18 have become thier ownselves and have pursued a better relationship with me . The youngest 13 still is influenced by my ex in all her decisions and our relationship suffers. But through it all, I have never badmouthed or said anything negative about their mother. Being there when I can and always reaching out even though she ignores it, I know in the long run as she matures , she will see me for who I really am and her mother for who she really is.
 

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Not Banned
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49,013 Posts
you clearly

have been handling this better than your ex
reading your posts I think you clearly show you have everything straight
I'm proud of you and your kid will be better for having you as a dad through this awful mess

good luck
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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22,021 Posts
You clearly are taking the right path..........when you are most in doubt, trust that your daughter will see the truth.

Give e her a hug from us.

Stay true

Len
 

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Captain Obvious
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11,876 Posts
Ridgetop said:
Your daughter will truely benefit by you being the stronger, and more loving parent in all this. The last thing she needs is hearing a bunch of trash about her mom. You're doing the right thing.
+eleventy
 

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Not Banned
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49,013 Posts
choosing this route (in general, not to this specific)

you may lose your kid for a bit but my guess is, the people who choose the other route lose the child as adult for much longer when the kid matures enough to see through the bS
 
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