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n00bsauce
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What significant purchase did you keep from your wife, husband or SO for fear of getting the stuffing knocked out of you? My most recent build was totally under the radar ($1200). Half was paid for by my soccer refereeing fees. I plan on replacing the other "borrowed" money with my spring fees. What did you keep quiet about and how did you finance it?
 

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Premium Member
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Mel Erickson said:
What significant purchase did you keep from your wife, husband or SO for fear of getting the stuffing knocked out of you? My most recent build was totally under the radar ($1200). Half was paid for by my soccer refereeing fees. I plan on replacing the other "borrowed" money with my spring fees. What did you keep quiet about and how did you finance it?
I pretty open about most of my purchases. I sell a lot on Ebay to support my habit. The only exception is twice a year, I get a large bonus check. I always take about $1000 of each check for some kind of bike purchase.
 

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A wheelist
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Mel Erickson said:
What significant purchase did you keep from your wife

Nothing. Zipp. I know "they say" it's easier to ask for forgivness than permission but I don't agree in this instance. I tell Momma everything. In the thirty years of bike related purchases there wasn't one time that she questioned anything I wanted. And that goes for the new 5K roadbike I bought last fall and the different tires that arrived for it this morning.

I used to laugh though at my old buddy, the late Dalerider at mtbr.com. He used to tell me how to play the "shell game" with new bikes. He had about nine top level mountainbikes and he would constantly mix up their order of hanging in the garage so that Momma DR wouldn't know what was happening. I never knew whether he was joking or not.
 

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Game on, b*tches!
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My last purchase.

My KG 461. I told her that I paid $500 when I actually paid $800. I will, however, recoup most of that when I sell my KG 361 frame & fork. I typically support most of my purchases by selling stuff on E-bay. Smaller purchases I'm pretty up front about.
 

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aka Zonic Man
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Every upgrade/spare part I have to get (pretty much) goes to one of her race bikes.....but even still, I try to do it out of my ebay "slush fund".
 

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Ti me up
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I don't

I don't. If I can't explain to my wife why it's justified, it's probably not.

We do allocate some money to each of us for monthly "allowances" that we can save up to spend no-questions-asked. That gives each of us a way to fund purchases that just aren't going to make sense to the other, no matter what. If I get bonuses, we add some to the allowance pool.

Seriously, I know stuff like this seems pretty innocuous, but my wife and I have spent a lot of time over the last couple of years counseling with couples who have visited our church in a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. They've usually got these huge walls of pain and anger built up, and when we start working through it, it's amazing how often it traces back to little decisions like hiding purchases or hiding how you use your time. Eventually, you stop thinking about what's best for "us" and start thinking about what's best for "me," and all of a sudden this person you loved is the enemy who's keeping you from getting what you want. It can take a year or two to help them get back on the right road, even if they're committed to working on it.

I know this may seem overblown, but most big problems start with stupid little things that don't seem like they'll cause any harm. I'd stay off that road altogether.

Regards,
 

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since i ditched my SO last week....

Mel Erickson said:
What significant purchase did you keep from your wife, husband or SO for fear of getting the stuffing knocked out of you? My most recent build was totally under the radar ($1200). Half was paid for by my soccer refereeing fees. I plan on replacing the other "borrowed" money with my spring fees. What did you keep quiet about and how did you finance it?
i'd say currently he pretty much doesn't know anything!! ;)

on the other hand, when we were together there was never any need to hide bike stuff from him since he may be an even bigger bike junkie than i am.

rt
 

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What my wife does know is that I post on this site. . .

Mel Erickson said:
What significant purchase did you keep from your wife, husband or SO for fear of getting the stuffing knocked out of you? My most recent build was totally under the radar ($1200). Half was paid for by my soccer refereeing fees. I plan on replacing the other "borrowed" money with my spring fees. What did you keep quiet about and how did you finance it?
Since my wife knows that I post on this site and it is bookmarked on the computer at home, I not about to make any confessions here.

Seriously, one of the keys to the success of our marriage is that we have financial areas where we operate under a don't ask, don't tell policy. My areas are my hobbies (mainly cycling, but I have others, too); my wife's are telecommunications (e.g., her daily, long distance calls to her sister) and spending on the girls (my wife does not spend much on herself, but she cannot say no when the girls want more clothes, CDs, etc.). That being said, we both know that the mortgage, tuition bills for the girls, etc., have to be paid before we spend on our vices. And, don't ask, don't tell is different from active deception or lying about purchases -- I don't think that is a good way to operate if you want a successful relationship.
 

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Diesel Engine
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No big stuff but details I suppose

No hiding from my wife that I have a fairly insatiable addiction to this crazy sport. I travel 4-5 days a week, so most of my purchases show up at home during the week. So she knows pretty much what I buy. She doesn't have too much interest about how much things cost though (or is afraid to ask). However, as time goes on, I find myself policing myself pretty well. For the most part, I'm over the days of "needing" the latest greatest seatpost or this or that - I'm happy with what I have. Most of my purchases are maintenance items now (tires, cables, tools), nutritional stuff ("Honey, why did UPS deliver a case of Clif bars today?") or clothing (Unfortunately I will have a 2nd MET Stradivarius helmet to explain by time I arrive home on Friday and it's a different color than the one I have now...).

I built up my fixie over the winter with nary a question about cost, but my wife was happy that most of the purchases came from ebay. What she didn't know (ask) and I didn't offer up was that I was looking for period-correct parts for the 1984 frame so I ended up paying perhaps more for NOS stuff than I would have for current, brand new parts. However, this is a 2-way street; I don't ask where (or how) a lot of stuff comes from. In the end it's all about trust and living within one's limits.

However, my 7 yo twins have a very avid interest in the occasional ;) package that shows up. They want to know how many 'millions' my various bikes and all of the fun other stuff costs. Sigh...if they (or I) only knew...
 

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eminence grease
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Asking for approval - zero, zip, nil, none, nada.

Small items (<$1000) I just do.

When it comes to bikes and groups, an important part of my decision process is talking to her about it. She doesn't know jack about the technical details, but she often does offer an opinion that helps me close the deal in my mind. Our discussions have nothing to do with approval, I talk about it with her out of courtesy and as a reference check that I think I've used the right logic in making my decision. In her eyes, my money is my money and she doesn't want to have any say about it. As long as we're fed and clothed, I can spend as much as I want. No repercussions.
 

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Dave Hickey said:
I pretty open about most of my purchases. I sell a lot on Ebay to support my habit. The only exception is twice a year, I get a large bonus check. I always take about $1000 of each check for some kind of bike purchase.
Ditto, Bro. I too support my habit by selling my unwanted stuff on ebay...It is hard to hide something as large as a bike from the wife, but she is also very supportive because she likes me fit and svelte, plus I'm less cranky. All in all she gives me a pretty long leash when it comes to my cycling habit.
 

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SoCal--S Beach to the Dam
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Nothing. My wife doesnt need to know the price of my toys,bikes,home theater,any toy. I pay cash for all toys so it doesnt go onto the cc or checking. Everything i buy is on sale,display or discounted somehow. She wouldnt understand a good deal like$1000 sub for $499 or a $2000 bike for $1099.
 

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let her have one better

I just realized that I've been practicing this strategy: I just make sure that whatever I get, she gets one-better. Not a good idea to hide anything. I learned my lesson when getting a pair of MTBs (mine cost $1K more and never heard the end of it), and since then I've made sure that she 'wants' the good stuff for road riding. :) Her road bike has 1 gruppo higher than mine, slightly better fork, bit pricey training fenders, slightly more expensive clothing, computer has altimiter, nicer wheels, etc. I let her earn her own cycling legs, though :D Bonus: there won't be any complaints from her about our equipment discrepancy this summer on the Croix-de-Fer. :p
 

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Banned
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Hey, honey, you know that 40-mile Sunday ride?

Well, it only goes 8 miles down to the coffee place, where I sit on the patio for an hour and read the paper.
Not much on the financial side, because she keeps the books. She's really good about most stuff, though it IS sort of hard to explain why I want a $1400 Quickbeam from Rivendell while I have an almost identical singlespeed I built for 30 bucks.
 

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Wild Weasal

There's no such thing as a stealth purchase of any magnitude so I run with full lights and transponders on for all but the smallest things.

What I keep from her is the ride conditions. I don't tell her about being squeezed into the curb, or getting turned in front of, or the loose dog, or in other close calls. Too much information IMHO.

Scot
 

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Banned forever.....or not
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It's all done with cash.

If I had to charge everything I bought for my insane activity, I think that I would be "fish food" by now. I'm also lucky that she doesn't know what bike stuff really costs.
It may not seem fair, but when she buys all of her house crap........I mean stuff, I usually don't say a word. (Besides the rolling of the eyes)
I'm sure that one of these days, my luck will run out. When that happens, I'll be found in a ditch, with a silica floor pump shoved up my ...................................

Disorder in the House.
 

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Just one more switchback
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No reason to hide

My wife rides too. The only time I don't tell her about something is when it is a surprise for her. I bought her a FS mtb as a surprise last year. She bought me a hardtail that I had been wanting for a long time for Christmas one time. A couple of months ago I wanted new road wheels, she bought them for me. She is perfect.
 

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hi, I'm Larry
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Set of Campy Shamals

Paid for using my Paypal slush fund. Race only wheels so she has never even seen them.
 

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i've always just bought anything i needed under $1000. at about that point (i learned the hard way) she will still approve as long as i let her know. kinda makes her feel like she is still in control even if she isnt. if i didnt ride and couldnt buy what i wanted, her life would probably be affected in a negative way because i know i wouldnt be a happy camper. i know me well.
 

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Mel Erickson said:
What significant purchase did you keep from your wife, husband or SO for fear of getting the stuffing knocked out of you? My most recent build was totally under the radar ($1200). Half was paid for by my soccer refereeing fees. I plan on replacing the other "borrowed" money with my spring fees. What did you keep quiet about and how did you finance it?

Wife generally buys me the stuff I want.Just mention it to her once and it may appear in the near future.If economics permits it.This has worked on small purchases but bike purchases time will tell.
 
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