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banned from the museum
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I took my kids for a ride on Saturday. We went about 4 miles round-trip. On the way home my genius son askes me to take him to the bike shop. When asked why, his response was so he could "trade his bike for a gumball." This is the bike that I just painted, completely rebuilt, and he had a say and hand in every step of the way. He knows how much work went into this, not to mention the new wheels, new bars, new group, new fork, new headset, new seat post.....

To be fair, the front derailleur broke, and he was upset with it. I had explained that it would be an easy fix when we got home, and I had the parts to fix it. He had to ride home in the middle ring for the rest of a very flat ride. He seldom shifts off the middle ring anyway. The bike is fixed.

I'm pretty hard to offend, but that did it. I'm tempted to sell the bike, and give him his candy.

He's 11.

How badly am I overreacting?
 

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Premium Member
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He got you.

Get used to it, he is almost a teenager........
 

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Grey Manrod
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My oldest is 11, and he still sometimes surprises me with stuff like that. Usually, he's just being clueless, and doesn't mean to offend. There are times that I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't respond well to it. However, I've gotten better at using it as a "teaching moment" (I hate that phrase) - calmly explain why what he said upsets you, and why you shouldn't say things like that. Seems to do the trick and is much more effective than getting upset.
 

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Stash the bike at work and bring him home a gumball. Better yet, let him see you chewing it. Why are you letting an 11-year-old get to you?!
 

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banned from the museum
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Christine said:
Stash the bike at work and bring him home a gumball. Better yet, let him see you chewing it. Why are you letting an 11-year-old get to you?!

The only time he's got me mad before was when he hit his mom.
 

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No hero that's understood
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It's different when its your 11-year old.

My son reacts similar to Brick's. When I explain to him that I went to a lot of effort to do something for him and that his lack of appreciation is a real disappointment, he has always sincerely apologized.

They're kids and they generally have no filter between what the brain says and what the mouth says (me either for that matter). In my experience, by having this communication with you kiddo, he will also treat others better.
 

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When I was quite young (Grade 1, IIRC), my dad put a bunch of time in building and painting a BMX for me to ride. He asked for my help, which I realize now was intended as father/son time, and not slave labour. I asked how much I was going to be paid... to help build MY bike. He was pretty upset.
 

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Good news everyone!
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jcaddyer said:
back in the punishment closet....

Why was the kid out of the punishment closet to begin with? He shouldn't even have been given the opportunity to see day light... look at him now, all uppity!
 

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It's not TOO Cold!
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That's easy, hide the bike, give him a gumball, then take the other kid for a ride. I did similar, 1 was smarting off, his bike got locked and I took the other riding. Since then it has been a great summer of bikes.
 

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Proud luddite
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My Own Private Idaho said:
The reason I ask is because I don't want to teach my kids to pull the same kind of passive-aggressive crap that I tend try.
Wouldn't selling his bike and giving him a piece of candy qualify as passive-aggressive crap?
 

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Shrewdest Unit Mover
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My Own Private Idaho said:
The reason I ask is because I don't want to teach my kids to pull the same kind of passive-aggressive crap that I tend try.
Then I wouldn't be much help.

That and I don't have kids and wouldn't understand.
 

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When he's 16, you will be nostalgic for the gumball day. . .
 

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It's different when its your 11-year old.

Funny, when my friend was visiting with her family, she would sometimes mumble under her breath to her husband (and vice versa): "He's really getting to me....." I didn't see it at all.
 

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Get him a gumballenheimer...
 
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