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You're Not the Boss of Me
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Skimming a thread in PO about the state of the world (vis a vis global warming and environmental degradation) got me thinking.

Would the state of the world ever cause you to say, "I'm not bringing a child into that?"

Not looking for this to become a political debate so much as pulse taking about how to view the future and how it might influence decisions about progeny and the future.
 

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nothing
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I don't plan on having any kids, and the state of the world has a small part to do with that, along with some personal reasons. but you know how things go... in a few years i may feel completely different about having children.
 

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Not Banned
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tough decision

as the folks who think such things are the ones who should be breeding. otherwise we're gonna be overrun with idiots.
 

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As a parent of one, and really not interested in having more, I can say that this world isn't worth bringing more people into. I have my own doubts about the reasons why people have children. It seems that while most of us would like to think it's a "Decision", most children are born because of simple biology. We as humans have evolved to the point where we can keep ourselves alive longer than we need to be probably, and we have no known predators, save ourselves. There will at some time have to be a "cleansing" of the population, and by that I mean a reduction of the numbers, to restore natural balance. Probably in the form of an asteroid or cataclysmic volcano. Hopefully not war, as I consider that an unnatural reduction.
 

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midnight melon mounter
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You're throwing the worst fear

That could ever be hurled.

Man, Masters of War is a great song. Anyway, to the point...

I've thought about it a bit, but I take comfort in human society having emerged from worse. Nuclear holocaust was a pretty dark umbrella, so were one or two other things in the past 2,000 years. Every generation has these feelings, generations in eras of rapid change most of all. The more history you learn, the better you feel.

Barbara Tuchman has a book about 14th Century Europe that seeks to "cast mutual light" on the worst stuff 20th Century man faced. The plague, endless war, disconnection with God, betrayal by rulers, etc. They went through bad times. I think it's a good book to read if you're feeling deeply blue.

Goya felt pretty awful about prospects for the future when he painted your favorite piece:
 

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A Canadian in Sweden
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We have two children, but the state of the world is not why we would or would not have children. The world is small, but the part we live in is even smaller. It's up to us to make sure that we do our best to protect that little part. We can't do it all alone, that's impossible. Why did we have children? We wanted to raise a family and experience that part of life that is reproduction. Life is too short to wonder or even care what the rest of the world thinks. Will have we more children? No, two is enough.
 

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In need of sock puppet
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Yes. Passionately yes! Glad you asked.

That's why I NEVER wanted to have kids, and why ultimately my ex and I split. There are too many kids out there without parents. I found a woman with two kids, that needed a father and am proud to doing my part with lives that are already out there.
 

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Genitive Declensioner
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jtolleson said:
Would the state of the world ever cause you to say, "I'm not bringing a child into that?"

Not looking for this to become a political debate so much as pulse taking about how to view the future and how it might influence decisions about progeny and the future.

Too late.....but it does beg the question of whether we will have another........on that I vacillate, this morning she was so damn cute I would have said another in a heartbeat, but then if you would have asked me last night at 3am it would probably have been the opposite.......to many damn humans as it is so I do feel a bit conflicted
 

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Back from the dead
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The state of the world doesn't mean much to me in terms of having kids, because it is all a solvable problem. I don't think it is a good assumption that it will always get worse. Also, I think a lot of talk about the environment tends to be very hyperbolic and non-scientific. I've heard that the sky is falling far too many times to take it too seriously.

One thing my wife and both agree on is that should we have kids, we aren't going to raise them where we live now. We like the city we live in now, but we don't think it is a good environment to raise kids in. We will move somewhere a lot more rural and small town, like the places where we were both raised.
 

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chica cyclista
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bingo

thinkcooper said:
Yes. Passionately yes! Glad you asked.
glad to see there are others that feel the same way.

I've been saying 'I don't want kids' since I was sixteen. Everyone's like 'oh you'll change'. Sorry, 20 years later, nothing's changed.

I've lost (at latest count) 3 decent relationships over this issue, one I was with over ten years (wth is it with men and their biological clocks, it's like they hit 30 and freak out...I thought it was women that had this problem?) plus I'm now no longer on speaking terms with my mother primarily due to my refusal to play the good daughter. As an only child there's always been a ton of pressure on me to reproduce. But I had a horrible childhood and I feel like that plus other valid reasons makes me want to skip the whole question.
 

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Nope. I'm out...

Nope, I'm out. And mostly it is because of the world around me. And the mere fact that I hate kids as well. Add those 2 together, and I want nothing to do with raising kids. I find them to not be cute or at all adorable, just a pain in the arse. Everytime I think kids are fine, I'll go out to eat, and there will be a screaming child somewhere throwing a holy hell tantrum, and that's it for me. Aside from that, as aforementioned, the world is too messed up to have kids, at least in my opinion.
 

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It's a Sledgehammer
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No

I am thankful there are people like TC who are willing to "adopt" a family. I feel it is one of the most unselfish and responsible acts one can do.

As hokey as it sounds, I believe children are our hope for a better future. They are a barometer of how we as a society are doing, and we need to pay attention to them. We will learn far more from our children than they will from us. I have two, and fear for them, pray for them and hope they will be part of the answer.
 

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Years ago, my wife and I seriously considered refraining from bringing more people into a world ill-equipped to support the current rate of population growth. However, we finally concluded that the people most concerned about the state of the world (sustainable resource management; poverty and hunger; wars of religion, culture, and resources; corruption; etc.) were the very people who were deciding against passing those concerns on to the next generation. We decided that the world was better off with a few more mouths to feed if those mouths were attached to people genuinely engaged in making a difference for everyone else.
 

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I'm 35 and would like to have 1 or 2 kids in my family (if that ever happens). I've taught 3rd-8th grade kids and really enjoy them. I also have 2 nephews (6 months and 5 years) that I enjoy playing with. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen(how I will feel as I get older, don't know, maybe my biological clock will start ticking). I also am quite concerned about overpopulation and think "in general" families have too many kids at too young an age. Right now I'm living in one of the fastest growing counties in the U.S. Delaware county, Ohio. I used to be able to step in my backyard and go biking in the country. Ride down Seldom Seen Rd and get chased by someones pet turkey. Now I must bike 40 minutes through housing develop after housing development dodging the SUV's to be in the country(the original farmhouses on Seldom Seen were ripped out and replaced with a community). It's ridiculous. Starbucks and Blockbuster at every corner. Who are these people and what do they to afford such huge homes?

"I am thankful there are people like TC who are willing to "adopt" a family. I feel it is one of the most unselfish and responsible acts one can do." Ditto.
 

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Talk about a moot question! I wasn't even able to stand being in the same room with children for many years. I, too, lost the best relationship I ever had because kids were an absolute "no-way" for me and my SO wanted lots of them; in a case like this, you can't compromise by splitting the difference. Years later I met a woman from a large family (she was one of 12 kids) and became accustomed to being around her assorted nieces and nephews. My sister and her husband adopted a little girl, and she's great. So, now that I'm in a position where I can actually think about the prospect of kids without my mind seizing up, I find myself middle-aged, with no, uhhhh, romantic prospects, so the state of the world doesn't even enter into the discussion.
 

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Quiet, daddy's drinking
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Is it reproduce or have kids.

I nned to know which one because if the world is going to end I'm going to get me a piece.
 

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Strained coccyx etc etc
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there are too many people already.

i wanted to have two children by the time i was 25. my ex wife didn't.

at 28, we were surprised, then disappointed. and she pursued pregnancy as a singluar goal (and succeeded).

i'm 34 now and my son is nearly six. he's a gem, the light of my life, i would give my last drop of blood to ease is journey.

but no, i don't want anymore children. global and personal reasons.
 

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Windrider (Stubborn)
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As usual, I'll be the contrarian......

I think you change the world one person at a time.

I think that parenting and helping to create responsible empathetic adults is one of the greatest gifts you can give to the future.

I would do it again in a heartbeat.

That being said, if you don't want to be a parent, please don't be a parent.

I'm a living example that you can begin to break any chain of learned bad behavior.

In addition, I think the world today is in significantly better place than it was in almost any time in the past...the difference today is the almost simotaneous communication and access to what is happening in the rest of the world can make it seem worse. Historically, most people did not know the truth of how bad things were around the world. While we may have significant problems, we also have made significant progress. There is better healthcare worldwide that at any time in the past, there is a lower percent of the population starving that at any time in the past.

YMMV

Len
 
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