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scruffy nerf herder
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been asked some crazy assed things in my life, but today just might take the whole cake.

Scene: a suburban neighborhood on a sunny day. Two neighbors, both mowing, meet at the fence and stop to chat.

Neighbor: You are a pretty smart guy, and know a lot about dogs.

Me: ok, whatcha got.

Neighbor: what would make my dog's poop turn into paper?

Me: what?

Neighbor: no really, in different piles of my dogs poop, when they decay or breaks down, it leaves shreds of paper.

He holds up several small shreds of paper.

Me: I'd say he's eating paper.

Neighbor: No he's not. Could it be his special food?

Me: is it made out of paper?

Neighbor: No, I'm serious what do you think my vet would say?

Me: That you are batshit crazy.
 

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My sisters dog shiets $100 bills, her boyfriend has followed it around and found them. This is a true story.
 

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I have been asked some crazy assed things in my life, but today just might take the whole cake.

Scene: a suburban neighborhood on a sunny day. Two neighbors, both mowing, meet at the fence and stop to chat.

Neighbor: You are a pretty smart guy, and know a lot about dogs.

Me: ok, whatcha got.

Neighbor: what would make my dog's poop turn into paper?

Me: what?

Neighbor: no really, in different piles of my dogs poop, when they decay or breaks down, it leaves shreds of paper.

He holds up several small shreds of paper.

Me: I'd say he's eating paper.

Neighbor: No he's not. Could it be his special food?

Me: is it made out of paper?

Neighbor: No, I'm serious what do you think my vet would say?

Me: That you are batshit crazy.

The boldfaced part, it's accurate, i.e., he actually held up some "throughput" from his dog?
 

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scruffy nerf herder
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yes, and I'm not squeamish, so I held it as well. It seemed a slightly aged piece of one of those biodegradable plastic bags from the grocery stores.
 

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It's obvious that the dog is made out of paper and faced with the looming future of living with this nitwit, has chosen to slowly bring an end to it in the only way possible for a creature with no thumbs.
 

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One of our neighbors once came over asking if he could talk to John about building a perpetual electrical generator (something that was featured on some prepper websites, apparently.)

John wasn't home, but I invited him in, and he talked about tinfoil hat stuff for nearly two hours. He came back a couple of days later, and John broke it to him gently that there is no possibility of such a machine, at least not yet. Nice guy, a few bats in the belfry though.
 

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scruffy nerf herder
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, I'm no paper expert, nor a plastic one for that matter. All I can say is that it was thinish, much like a plastic bag, but whitish, but not opaque... but no rough fiberous edges or stained as one might expect from paper.
 

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Well, I'm no paper expert, nor a plastic one for that matter. All I can say is that it was thinish, much like a plastic bag, but whitish, but not opaque... but no rough fiberous edges or stained as one might expect from paper.
Synthetic fabric or paper? Interesting mystery - the vet should have fun with this!
 
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